Afternoon all,

I'm half way to the process needed to get the importantly needed surgery. Monday, I met with my primary care physician so that she could write a letter of recommendation to the surgeon, which she happily did. She also ordered the labs that my surgeon requested be completed. I just received the results of some of the fasting labs I had drawn this moring. I can't believe some of the numbers!

I am so upset with myself for allowing myself to get to this point. Sorry, I guess this is a pitty party post. I just have to get this out.

I know that, yes, I'm over weight (or as my chart says morbidly obese) but these labs and recently changes in my body are showing me (although I had been ignoring them) that I have an issue with food. I know what to eat and how much to eat but I choice to ignore it because I like food. I know I could chose better food options like an apple over chips but sad thing is I like them both and usually end up eating the apple AND the chips. My surgeon is requiring that I lose 10 pounds. I know it's not a lot but I haven't been able to lose 5 pounds.

I am so ready for a lifestyle change that I am forced to abide by. As of tomorrow, I have decided to start to drink Protein shakes regularly to substitute a few meals for the week. We'll see how that goes.

I'm wondering how many folks who've had this surgery end up having some sort of therapy for "compulsive eating?" I didn't think I was a food addict or anything, even with all the indulging but now I'm wondering if maybe I am.

Anyhow, thanks for listening. I know things will get better. Those labs just through me.

Shari

Most of us are food addicts. That is how we got here. I had to fight with my primary for the referral for Bariatric surgery because of my emotional issues. I jumped through all her hoops and am so much better off for it. 90 % of my eating was from mental hunger and not physical. My marriage to a Narcissist and a family full of critics had so thoroughly destroyed my self esteem that I ate to fill the emptiness in my life. Two of the counselors that I saw in my journey recommended 2 books for me to read. One was "Codependent No More" by Melody Beatty which taught me how to reject the critics in my life by detaching myself from them. The other was "When Food Is Love" by Geneen Roth. This book showed me how I was using food to fill the hole that my empty, lonely life had left in the pit of my stomach. The words on its pages hit so close to home and were so painful, it took me almost a year to read the entire book. I would just start sobbing uncontrollably and would have to stop. I have had great success with my sleeve. I have lost 104% of my excess weight to date and most of that in the first 6-7 months after my surgery. Most importantly, I know that I have all the necessary tools to keep my weight off. I was blessed to have really good insurance that gave me a great education in nutrition, but the one thing I place the most value in, is the changes in mindset that I made. It is your mind that gives you a positive attitude, gets you to make healthy food choices, gets you up and exercising and makes you believe you are worth it! Oprah Winfrey once said that everyone who suffers from an addiction had something happen to them at some point in their life that made them feel unworthy of happiness, good health, love, all of the best life has to offer. I agree with that statement whole heartedly. My doctor was afraid that if I had surgery, the power I was allowing others to have over me, would have killed me. I know now, she was right. I am so grateful for her and her "hoops"! I hope you will find your answers, YOU DESERVE THE BEST!!