I'm Scared
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I just got my insurance approval (yay!) and I meet with the surgeon March 12th to finalize everything and get my date. I'm excited that it's finally happening.
And I'm kinda scared that it's finally happening too.
I've been working with a therapist to get my mind right for the before and the after part of this surgery (I refuse to call it a journey). I've realized that I'm afraid to try because I'm afraid to fail. So, it's easier if I just do nothing and keep doing what I've been doing. My therapist fully supports my decision to have VSG and says that it will be the kick in the ass that I need.
But I'm still afraid. I know that there are people who don't succeed. There are people who are initially successful but go back to old habits. I'm afraid that will be me. I don't want to revert to what I am now. I don't like what I am right now. But but but...
This is becoming real and it's scary. I won't back down now because I've not backed down from a fight once I started it. But I'm just so scared of being a complete failure.