WARNING: This is a bit long winded!

I decided to post this in two parts, first a celebration of the success I have had since surgery:

- Lost 64 lbs and feel pretty amazing!

- Don't sweat excessively any more (was a huge problem for me before)

- My shoe size has gone from tight wide width to average width. I can buy any shoes I want! Yipee!

- I have donated about 6 large bags of clothes I will never see again

- When I go to my favorite store I can shop where I want instead of seeking out Women's World (what a crap name).

- Wearing a size 12 down from 1x/2x

- I am no longer invisible. People actually look at me and make eye contact with me on an elevator. Sometimes a blessing when at work and I need to get someone's attention but it has been a long time since I had what I call "male attention" and that makes me uncomfortable.

- I don't avoid social situations any more. I can sit at a table or booth in front of God and everybody and eat dinner without feeling like all eyes are upon me.

- My sleeve can be picky and doesn't like the old food I used to crave like pizza, burgers and fries. It does like mexican food unfortunately which is my favorite.

Next, the challenges. I have been stalled at 194 lbs for a long time. Part of it is mental I think because I did this one other time when I got below 200 lbs. It seems I block myself emotionally at this weight and fear getting down to goal weight and putting myself out there where I could ultimately face rejection. I have some sick tape playing in my head that says if I stay fat then if I am rejected it is because I am fat. If I lose all the weight and get rejected then it is personal. Stems from a love/hate relationship with my mom where I constantly sought out approval and rarely got it. I know a bunch of psycho babble talk but at least I am aware I do it. Now I just have to get past it.

I have been able to under eat my sleeve successfully. but I have been unable to shake the guilt of wasting food. I find I will eat what I want and then offer the rest to my husband who has weight issues too. I pretty much transfer the guilt to him because he thinks like me that you shouldn't waste food so he will eat his dinner and part of mine. This has caused him to gain a good amount of weight and this is weight he does not need. Talking to him about it has been difficult. He has been pretty quiet about my whole weight loss thing. He practically doesn't even acknowledge I have lost weight unless I push the issue. It isn't because he isn't proud of me or happy for me it is because he has become so unhappy with himself. I don't know how to help him and I feel really sad about it. I have decided I am not going to ask him if he wants anything from my plate any more. I just wish I could help him lose the weight but honestly without the sleeve I would be struggling too.

OMG! This is so me! I was giving my food to my DH because i didn't want to waste it. Then I started realizing that I wasn't doing him any favors either. He blood sugar is way up because he eats too much food. When I realized that I wasn't doing him any favors, I just started throwing my left overs out. Even at his parents house, where is father is way more stringent about throwing anything out. I just put my napkin over it and slip it into the trash. My husband was pretty ok with that. This is really a hard thing to change. But the food is better off in the thrash rather than my DH's stomach! This is life threatening actually.

I did go on ebay and find some really cut little desert bowls and plates that I use for when I eat now. It helps me cut down on the food I put on my plate and I love them. It's very special and gives me a feeling of success.

What a great list of successes - and you shared so openly and honestly about your challenges. I bet there are a lot of us that can relate to both. You are very self aware and that should lead to your figuring out how best to help yourself and your husband. Congratulations on an amazing journey thus far!!! XOX

Agree, what a great list of both success and challenges. I'm sharing them with you too.

I'm so thrilled at the weight I've lost yet a little surprised at some of the new challenges not sleeve related. I was prepared for sleeve issues....changes in eating, etc. I wasn't prepared for the new challenge of trying to find tops that fit my size Med. waist (love) but also will fit my large bat wing arms. And I thought my bf would loose weight too but like yr husband has only gainned. Or the women at work that seemed so supportive in the beginning of my weight loss efforts when I was over 200 lbs but seem... to put it nicely.... a little less supportive now.

I love the new confidence I've gainned throughout this whole process but find I'm questioning myself with other areas of my life now. Kind of like, if I can do this (VSG) then what about other things I've wanted for years....change in career, relocate out of state, new home, etc.

Still when it all comes down to it, I feel so blessed that I took this step and I'm so eager for each new phase.

I feel blessed as well. I am not on the loser bench yet but I will be on April 30th. Good luck to you.

Kim

Congrats on all your success

Don't give up on trying to lose weight. You can break the stall with some new dedication.I also hate to waste food too. Since I had the sleeve about 7 weeks ago, I have noticed a strange habit of eating a small portion of food and putting the lettovers in the fridge because I hate to waste it. Then after a couple of days if I don't eat it, I will have to throw it out. It's actually kind of gross. I need to learn to either eat it later the day or throw it out as soon as I'm done eating. It is strange and I have never done that before. I have an issue with throwing food out too. I agree that you shouldn't be giving what's left to your hubby and you will have to just make a conscious effort not to do it. I know it's easier said than done.

Actually, you might be able to save yourself some money by going to the baby department in Walmart or any Dpt store really where they have toddler size dishes. I did that very early on and got me some nice little tupperware dishes, most if not all had lids and made it very easy to pack for lunches and they were cheap. I think I got 3 bowls w/lids for like $1.95 or something.

OMG! This is so me! I was giving my food to my DH because i didn't want to waste it. Then I started realizing that I wasn't doing him any favors either. He blood sugar is way up because he eats too much food. When I realized that I wasn't doing him any favors, I just started throwing my left overs out. Even at his parents house, where is father is way more stringent about throwing anything out. I just put my napkin over it and slip it into the trash. My husband was pretty ok with that. This is really a hard thing to change. But the food is better off in the thrash rather than my DH's stomach! This is life threatening actually

I did go on ebay and find some really cut little desert bowls and plates that I use for when I eat now. It helps me cut down on the food I put on my plate and I love them. It's very special and gives me a feeling of success.