:cry :faint: :phanvan :rolleyes :mad: :faint:

Why what is the problem?

Come on, Rissa. You can tell us.

every day mom tells me that i eat to much . i dont know how she get to the conclusion because she works 7am-7pm so she isnt home to see what i eat. infact i need a unfill cuz i wasn't able to eat solid for a week. it just bugs me i would think she would try to supprt me but she puts me down.. o0o0o yah my mom is 5 pound less then me and has diabetes and high blood pressure. so i dont know how she puts me down when she could loss some wieght herself. but im not disrespectful so i wont say that to her

You just take care of you. Don't let anything get in the way of your progress. You have a lot of support right here and we all care about you. Whenever you need to vent or even brag, we're all here to listen.

My Mom does the SAME THING! Thank GOD Im moving out in 12 days because its hard, they tell you to lose weight and do what the doctor says, you try and you do, but you get hung up (either food, weightloss, or whatever you can interpret that in many ways) and because she's not banded and hasnt done the research we have she doesnt know how it fills or what truths lie behind it. I COMPLETELY understand, my mom told me I was eating more than I should be, so I started keeping a food journal NOW she tells me Im not eating enough, but Im under 1000 and try to stay over 500, and just let her comments roll off because Im outta here in 2 weeks so all I have to do is count to 10 and hope to God everything falls into place so I can move on that day!LOL!

congrads on the moving out and maybe ill make a food diary too. sound like a good idea

every day mom tells me that i eat to much . i dont know how she get to the conclusion because she works 7am-7pm so she isnt home to see what i eat. infact i need a unfill cuz i wasn't able to eat solid for a week. it just bugs me i would think she would try to supprt me but she puts me down.. o0o0o yah my mom is 5 pound less then me and has diabetes and high blood pressure. so i dont know how she puts me down when she could loss some wieght herself. but im not disrespectful so i wont say that to her

You lost 20 lbs!!!!!!! That is awesome!! :clap2: I know you don't want to be disrespectful, but sometimes you gotta bark back to get your point across. :scared: (ya know, she could also be jealous..just a thought!)

I thought it was SOOOOO stupid before, I thought that only people who couldnt control what and how much they were eating needed it.....but wasnt that all of us b4 the band, so I was basically in denial, and now its my best friend Ive lost like 5 lbs this week drink 64oz of water a day (two 32oz bottles full) and eating between 500 and 1000 cals. It was rough the first day, but its been like 5 days and now I have to look for calories so I can get enough, the amount of water really curves my appetite. Your 18, shouldnt you be moving out soon to, and if not there's always a light at the end of the tunnel the people on here have heard me say the same thing and over and over again, and yet they still support me and offer me good advice (although sometimes I can use it *see my recent Thread) but they are alway here to listen to me gripe and celebrate! So just try to think positive and the future

i moved out 2 months ago but my mom got so upset that that week she had 3 mini stroke.. so i came back with her . i also have to finish high school but as soon as i grad i will move out .

oooooooo ok, I just graduated THANK GOD THANK GOD! I couldnt stand it anymore, I didnt go to school half the time anyway, I couldnt imagine going all the time with good or even decent attendance lol, hey if you wanna chat I have MSN, Jodie_Warner06@hotmail.com

Marissa - listen very carefully. You take care of yourself. When you graduate, you move out (with a job, etc. to support yourself). You love your mom and you always will, but DO NOT let her actions smother who you are or your path in life. She needs to stand on her own - you can't make her do it, but don't be running back to her. She is trying to control you and it is not healthy. This doesn't mean you can't be a support for her, please don't let her control you this way.

Terry

Start by making a food diary and try and exercise in the evening after your mother comes home. Go out walking. She'll see you exercising and it will give you time to be alone. If you don't lose weight after making the food diary, print out the diary and go to a dietician so he/she can make suggestions. Can you take some summer classes or get a job or volunteer to be out of the house more?

Misery loves companies and as much as your mom loves you, she sounds bitter and jealous. My mom's the same way. You really need to say to yourself every time she does this to you (in your mind) "this is not true, she is jealous, I am doing great, I will NOT fall for it this time."

Its all a mind game hon, don't let some one else, no matter how close to you, ruin your efforts. The more you ignor her comments, the more she'll realize she can't get to you... trust me, it worked for me.

Hugs and sorry :scared:

Rissa,,, Please do not let your Mom control you this way, you can support her and not live with her. (trying not to sound coarse or uncaring here) If she was so sick as to NEED you there, I'm pretty sure she would not be working 12 hour days. I am far from being a profesional ANYBODY,but...

1) Right now YOU do not need the extra stress (that it sounds like) she is adding to your life.

2) If your not healthy, you can not help your Mom, anyways.

I know family is tough, and mine try to lay guilt trips to get whatever they want, and that extra stress far from helps anything. Try doing for you, and see just how good it feels.Honestly, it's not allways the selfish thing to do.

hi. I just read this thread and wow..... Okay this mother daughter thing...it is not uncommon and I too faced it all of my life., I was big and tall and my mother is this perfect little blonde 130 lb woman who alwys watched what she ate and what i ate too. I left home early but every conevrsation she made involved, food, diet, etc, . I am five nine and when i was 20 i lost alot of weight and she then saw me trying on clothes and then told me I was too skinny!!!! Like make up your frigging mind will ya> I never said anything not until I hit 40 and I am now getting my band on thursday as I am way bigger now. I told her how it hurt etc..but I am a psych nurse and after reading various books the mother daughter connection is a funny thing. they think of us as an extension of themselves, and for some it is do as I say and not as i do, but I found it funny that my mom was an amazing cook and sewer and i stayed away from it and get stressed to the max when i cook for people, she had to be the best at those thing sand always ask, is it okay etc and have copmpliments all the time. in many ways I see as I got older that we are alike, but the weight thing is my issue and I am sure some of this comes from childhood stuff but now she lays off ( although i am sure she has an opinion) I went through areally tough time this last year and poke to my family like I never have before and finally on my bday this past july 4th, i thanked them for their presents and explained that I am having this surgery and that I have tried everything, that I have had problems my whole life and alhtogu my brother is not for it and has been quiet ever since, I know I have their respect and wil be there for me. Now Icall the shots with my life. and you my dear will too.

al the best love kim