Hey all,

I'm sooooooooo depressed.

I have to go meet my boyfriend's family for the first time at a wedding next month. Not only am I fat as a house still, but i'm older than he is and they will wonder what the heck is he doing with me.

I was trying on dresses yesterday and let's face it, when you really heavy, nothing looks good. It was like putting silks over a bag of potatoes.

When we first heard of the wedding, I thought I'd be looking good by then. But I have been without a fill since my surgery in March. My band is just sitting there and I'm getting hungry and I'm gaining the weight I lost during the first weeks out of surgery.

(You can read the reasons for no fill here:)

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=20319

I used to think "Well at least I lost wheat i did" but now I can't say that anymore.

I'm so depressed gang.:think

You people are really great. I can't thank you enough.

Tricia, your a gem. Thank you for taking the time to do all that for me. I do like some of them. I'm going to have my boyfriend take a look too.

Good news (and bad news). Good news: I talked to a doc yesterday who will take me on.

Bad News: He is a doc I consulted and rejected. So this will be awkward!!!

Also, I don't get in to see him until a month from now, and that is just to see him, not even a fill. The fill probably won't happen for ANOTHER month. They said he is busy because all the Medicare patients are scrambling for the only 2 doctors in the state with the "Medicare Stamp of Poo" as I call it.

You're welcome, sweetie. Ugh @ the doctor who will get you in. That sucks, but at least you have an option now. :hug: It will get better.

Glad to hear you were able to hook up with a doc. Awkward as it may be, there is a reason for it. I'm sure this will pass after the first visit. Let us know how things go. BTW, did you pick out a dress yet?

Yea! I hope you are able to get your fill soon.

Leenerbups!

Chin up, please! I love your posts, and your cool cowbell/ Spock stuff in your postings. You are beautiful and deserving--take the time to get a dress that you feel good in. (E-bay could save you some bucks on a dress) Spend time on your make-up/hair--ask friends or family for help if you can; they will be flattered to help you. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are beautiful. Go to the wedding and smile! If you are half as cool in person as you come across here, people will flock to you. Have a great time!

Jigglypuff

I was Internet browsing/shopping today and I found this site that has CUTE plus size clothes....here's the link: www.alight.com

Hi,

Georgia will still be pretty hot in September. Depending on the city it could still be 80 degrees. How old are you?

I've lived in Jersey and GA. Find out where the wedding will be and if there will be a dinner/dance or simple cake & punch. Find out the time of day. Morning/afternoon is a lot less formal then evening. A lot of southern weddings have the receptions in the church hall or at home. So it may not be as formal as you might think even if he wears a tux.

A size 20 is fine at your height. What part of you do you like? For instance, I play up my bust and shoulders because I am a huge pear.

Keep the same color all the way down, draw attention to your best part.

Wear 3/4 sleeves or long sleeves that can be pushed up. Don't go sleeveless you will be tugging all night/morning long.

Break in new shoes before the wedding.

Try www.kiyonna.com and their little black dress dept. The black lace one with the v-neck and 3/4 sleeves is terrific. If you check out its wedding area they have the same kind of dress in lighter colors.

Try silhouettes.com and jessica london.

If your legs suck like mine do-go for a palazzo pantsuit or even a tuxedo pantsuit (try Lane Bryant or Roamans on-line).

Just remember find out the info on the wedding before you make any decisions about formal or informal.

Go girl!!!!

How many times in our lives have we gone out, thinking we looked awful, and that people talked about how bad we looked?

 

As a Wedding Planner, I have been involved in hundreds of events, and have had to wear attire suitable for day, afternoon, and evening events.

 

I loved the things at Nordies - but not everyone can afford those kind of dresses for one occasion... unless it's their wedding dress!

 

I always let people know that they can find nice things at JC Penneys -

< they have special cataloges for evening wear > yes, really - So many stores have Plus Size sections. Actually most of the larger chains do carry plus size things, but they tend to be for older women. Check the Lane Bryant Cataloge out too. There's more than a few available on line, all ready to be Googled.

 

Meanwhile, instead of focusing on your dress - make sure you are in love with your hair, that you have your makeup done, that you are the best you can be at that moment. I know I always get teeth whitener strips,

and have my eyebrows professionally waxed - manicure/pedicure.

 

Do the best for YOU, and don't worry about everyone else. Believe it or not they are all worried about how they will look, and have their minds on their own insecurities and issues.

 

Relax, enjoy yourself, enjoy the event, and know that "he" wants you to be with him, and really - that's all that matters....

 

Let us know what you decide on!

Gosh I'm enjoying all the sites you ladies referred her to.

 

I think I'm going to buy "a little black dress" - there are some great deals!

I've been trapped looking at dresses for 4 hours now. I just realized I have a big wedding on August 5th, and I have been trying on things, and looking at all these sites ... The trouble with some of these dresses is they are just too expensive to buy now, as I don't want to invest in this size. Besides the fact - it's only for one event.

You girls did a GREAT job with the resources .. and at all different price points, so there MUST be one for the wedding!!

Oh Leener--

I am so excited for you to get a fill....just read all the posts.....I believe reading all I"ve read that his family will LOVE you...your beauty shines from the inside out.... my best friend once told me "ya know we love you and don't even notice your weight"....I started over 100lbs heavier than you.....let your light shine from within! Your boyfriend doesn't mind....my husband married me way over weight!!! I told him "you saw me when no one else did"!!! Just bask in his love..... if his family are into the "flaws" of life you only must see them occasionally.....don't let anyone steal your joy! You are loved!!!!!

God Bless,

Melody

Banded 3/20/06 -70lbs

Leener,

I just wanted to offer my support. I hope your fill comes through quickly, even though it's not with the doc you wanted. It took 8 weeks for me to get a fill and know how tough Bandster Hell is.

You obviously are a great person--That comes through in your posts. If your BF's family has any sense, they will see that.

Thanks for putting a little more cowbell in my life!

Hi Julie. I 've gained back 7 lbs of that loss this month. :-(

Anyone know of a place online where you can get flattering evening dresses?

Dont be hard on yourself girl, be your self go and enjoy the wedding, you have started something... I love shopping(by the way you are JUST MY SIZE) I have been looking at the sites Barb and Funny....have provided, for sure you will get something that looks GREAT on you.. Dont be discouraged... On another note, Why are you not getting any fills? I might have missed your previous posts? :clap2:

oh, yeah what is your basic shape? are you an apple? a pear? and hourglass?

FunnyDuddies,

I love shopping... I visited the site you suggested to Leenerbups.. I am size 20 now , black, apple shaped, my closet is full of pants suits. It has been hard for me to fine a dress that fits because of my stomach..Lol,I like something to show off my legs 'cause I thing they are my only assets right now!!! So please find something flatterring for that kind of figure.

Thanks, freebekie

I have just been reading this thread and think it is wonderful how you have all tried to encourage leenerbups especially funnyDuddies and Donna B. We have all been to this point where what we are going to wear becomes the really BIG issue. I think you are lucky to have somebody who loves you - good luck at the wedding