Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

BariatricPal

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Support? where is it?

Hello. My name is Valentina. I am scheduled for my surgery on June 6th. I have yet to decide whether to have gastric bypass or Vertical Sleeve. I went into this life changing course wanting a Sleeve, but when I mention it to my friends, they have a look like they are sucking on lemons! My daughters support me with whatever I choose to do, but that is not helping. Their love for me is not is question--nor is THEIR support. My significant other fluctuates between supporting me and telling me that I am selfish to only think of myself and not him as he struggles with clinical depression. I AM going to have WLS!! I just need some support that won't make me feel guilty. Right now, I am scheduled for a Sleeve because of the recovery time involved. Is that a wrong reason for the choice over the bypass??? SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!

  • Replies 25
  • Views 3.2k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Featured Replies

it's amazing how people who are close to us can be the most unsupportive. i'm having the surgery.. i'm not planning on telling my parents. my sisters know i want surgery but won't tell them where i'm going (i'm heading across the border..lol). my best friend is very much against the surgery cause i'm taking "the easy way out".

  • Author

I have to keep reminding myself of something my mentor in the standard poodle showing ring once told me----"TO THY OWN SELF BE TRUE".

:)

it's amazing how people who are close to us can be the most unsupportive. i'm having the surgery.. i'm not planning on telling my parents. my sisters know i want surgery but won't tell them where i'm going (i'm heading across the border..lol). my best friend is very much against the surgery cause i'm taking "the easy way out".

  • 2 weeks later...

Hello. My name is Valentina. I am scheduled for my surgery on June 6th. I have yet to decide whether to have gastric bypass or Vertical Sleeve. I went into this life changing course wanting a Sleeve, but when I mention it to my friends, they have a look like they are sucking on lemons! My daughters support me with whatever I choose to do, but that is not helping. Their love for me is not is question--nor is THEIR support. My significant other fluctuates between supporting me and telling me that I am selfish to only think of myself and not him as he struggles with clinical depression. I AM going to have WLS!! I just need some support that won't make me feel guilty. Right now, I am scheduled for a Sleeve because of the recovery time involved. Is that a wrong reason for the choice over the bypass??? SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!

Valentina:

You can't help anyone else until you help yourself first. Once you get better, you can turn around and address the needs of others who want to be helped.

I was denied Lap Band surgery in 2006 and after finding this site and reading all of the problems and complications related to it I believe that denial was a blessing in disguise. I chose the sleeve because I'm filled with titanium -- fused spine, sacroilliac joints, and left pelvis. I also had my right hip replaced. I'm definitely on my way to becoming the bionic woman! Because of my orthopaedic history, I did not want to add malabsorption issues to the mix. And, the thought of rerouting perfectly working parts gave me the heebie jeebies. After spending weeks researching the sleeve, I knew it would be the best thing for my situation.

I'm 2 weeks post-op and doing fantastic. The swelling went down quickly so I'm not having issues with getting the Water or Proteins in. I've been on the treadmill and yesterday did 1 hour at 2 m.p.h. Yay me!

The weight loss isn't as drastic as I had imagined, but I'm doing this to alleviate the pressure on my back and joints. So, however long it takes is how long it takes. I'm moving in the right direction and it's all good.

You know the reasons behind your decision to go this route. Stick with it. It's your life and you're doing something proactive to extend (or even save) it.

Empress

  • Author

It sounds like you are have a win/win experience. I pray my road will be as smooth. I have decided to have the sleeve. Now my surgeon just has to talk the insurance company into it. He says with my medical history, I should not worry. He is sure that my June 6th date will hold. It's strange that my insurance company already approved the bypass which is much more invasive. Anyway, I was told to start my pre-op diet 15 days before. I have already lost 36# since starting on this path, but as we both know it is not the first 36# that I have lost (and regained!!). I am sooo looking forward to "joing the ranks". Thank you ever so much for the sage words.

:gossip:

--on the right road at last!:car:

Valentina:

You can't help anyone else until you help yourself first. Once you get better, you can turn around and address the needs of others who want to be helped.

I was denied Lap Band surgery in 2006 and after finding this site and reading all of the problems and complications related to it I believe that denial was a blessing in disguise. I chose the sleeve because I'm filled with titanium -- fused spine, sacroilliac joints, and left pelvis. I also had my right hip replaced. I'm definitely on my way to becoming the bionic woman! Because of my orthopaedic history, I did not want to add malabsorption issues to the mix. And, the thought of rerouting perfectly working parts gave me the heebie jeebies. After spending weeks researching the sleeve, I knew it would be the best thing for my situation.

I'm 2 weeks post-op and doing fantastic. The swelling went down quickly so I'm not having issues with getting the Water or Proteins in. I've been on the treadmill and yesterday did 1 hour at 2 m.p.h. Yay me!

The weight loss isn't as drastic as I had imagined, but I'm doing this to alleviate the pressure on my back and joints. So, however long it takes is how long it takes. I'm moving in the right direction and it's all good.

You know the reasons behind your decision to go this route. Stick with it. It's your life and you're doing something proactive to extend (or even save) it.

Empress

It sounds like you are have a win/win experience. I pray my road will be as smooth. I have decided to have the sleeve. Now my surgeon just has to talk the insurance company into it. He says with my medical history, I should not worry. He is sure that my June 6th date will hold. It's strange that my insurance company already approved the bypass which is much more invasive. Anyway, I was told to start my pre-op diet 15 days before. I have already lost 36# since starting on this path, but as we both know it is not the first 36# that I have lost (and regained!!). I am sooo looking forward to "joing the ranks". Thank you ever so much for the sage words.

:gossip:

--on the right road at last!:car:

I'm sending up those prayers for you to God's ear right now! Congratulations on the weight loss so far. I'm with you on the lose/regain issue. I think during my "dieting career" I gained and then regained a football team a couple of times!

This time I'm determined to not "find" any of the weight I lose. So far, 17# down (I can tell because my fingernails and eyelashes are soooooo svelte) and less than a metric ton to go!:P

Keep telling yourself that you're going to do well and keep that phrase in your mind and on your lips -- positive thinking really works wonders. (Courtesy of "Adventures in Attitude" -- "I AM, I CAN, I WILL!!")

Hi, Valentina: Hugs to you on your upcoming surgery!!! I have probs with my RNY Bypass so am revising with VSG. Here is why: When I had my bypass, I needed it desperately due to severe GERD and High Blood Pressure. 3 mos prior, I had emergency blood transfusion due to severe blood loss internally. I had to stay in the hospital 4 days then. My surgery at that time also repaired a huge hiatal hernia, and removed my gall bladder. I lost 85 pounds, kept it off roughly 3 years, but started regaining weight and developed pernicious anemia and Calcium deficiency. In 2007 I learned my bypass stretched 80% and surgical revision would be in order to fix it and get my weight back down--Now I await my preop instructions and surgery date that will be on Thurs of this week. Soooo excited!!! If you have any inkling of doubt about either sleeve or bypass, please air them to your doctor. Remember, you are doing this for YOU!! If I were in your position I would choose the sleeve over the bypass. There is less onset of malabsorption with the sleeve, and I think with your support system postop, you will find the sleeve to be soo much better in terms of transitioning from the supplemental diet to a modest, lowfat/low carb plan of eating with the sleeve. Your husband has to deal with HIS health HIMSELF. It may require some counseling with both of you just for learning how to address your new habits and relationship to food. I think honestly that once they see you slimmer, happier, and just more exuberant in your daily life their apprehensions will subside. :P They need to learn the ropes, and you need to be verbal in saying exactly what you need from them over this journey you are starting. I hope great progress from you as you experience your surgery and recovery time!! Take care! :)

et to decide whether to have gastric bypass or Vertical Sleeve. I went into this life changing course wanting a Sleeve, but when I mention it to my friends, they have a look like they are sucking on lemons! My daughters support me with whatever I choose to do, but that is not helping. Their love for me is not is question--nor is THEIR support. My significant other fluctuates between supporting me and telling me that I am selfish to only think of myself and not him as he struggles with clinical depression. I AM going to have WLS!! I just need some support that won't make me feel guilty. Right now, I am scheduled for a Sleeve because of the recovery time involved. Is that a wrong reason for the choice over the bypass??? SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!

  • Author

That you for the words of wisdom!! You be sure and let me know every step of your new road to health and happiness. I will make sure I include you Thurs when I have my daily chit chat with God. Can't hurt. Let me know ALL ABOUT IT JUST AS SOON AS YOU FEEL WELL ENOUGH. I will be waiting. God's speed, my friend.:pray2: Valentina

Hi, Valentina: Hugs to you on your upcoming surgery!!! I have probs with my RNY Bypass so am revising with VSG. Here is why: When I had my bypass, I needed it desperately due to severe GERD and High Blood Pressure. 3 mos prior, I had emergency blood transfusion due to severe blood loss internally. I had to stay in the hospital 4 days then. My surgery at that time also repaired a huge hiatal hernia, and removed my gall bladder. I lost 85 pounds, kept it off roughly 3 years, but started regaining weight and developed pernicious anemia and calcium deficiency. In 2007 I learned my bypass stretched 80% and surgical revision would be in order to fix it and get my weight back down--Now I await my preop instructions and surgery date that will be on Thurs of this week. Soooo excited!!! If you have any inkling of doubt about either sleeve or bypass, please air them to your doctor. Remember, you are doing this for YOU!! If I were in your position I would choose the sleeve over the bypass. There is less onset of malabsorption with the sleeve, and I think with your support system postop, you will find the sleeve to be soo much better in terms of transitioning from the supplemental diet to a modest, lowfat/low carb plan of eating with the sleeve. Your husband has to deal with HIS health HIMSELF. It may require some counseling with both of you just for learning how to address your new habits and relationship to food. I think honestly that once they see you slimmer, happier, and just more exuberant in your daily life their apprehensions will subside. :P They need to learn the ropes, and you need to be verbal in saying exactly what you need from them over this journey you are starting. I hope great progress from you as you experience your surgery and recovery time!! Take care! :)

et to decide whether to have gastric bypass or Vertical Sleeve. I went into this life changing course wanting a Sleeve, but when I mention it to my friends, they have a look like they are sucking on lemons! My daughters support me with whatever I choose to do, but that is not helping. Their love for me is not is question--nor is THEIR support. My significant other fluctuates between supporting me and telling me that I am selfish to only think of myself and not him as he struggles with clinical depression. I AM going to have WLS!! I just need some support that won't make me feel guilty. Right now, I am scheduled for a Sleeve because of the recovery time involved. Is that a wrong reason for the choice over the bypass??? SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!

Hi Valentina,

I had the RNY because that was the only surgery that would help with the diabetes. I haven't had any malabsortion issues and was back on my feet within just a few days. There are a lot of people here that will support whatever decision you make, myself included. Good luck on your journey!

  • Author

Thank you, Lynn. Today I took my standard poodle for her walk. This is only the second day since I had my knee replaced in early March that I have been able/allowed to do so. It felt soooo good to walk again. Of course I've lost 37 pounds pre sleeve surgery which I am sure helped. I look forward to getting much more weight off of my major joints which is one of the main reasons I've decided to have a sleeve. One total knee replacement is enough for me!!!

On this site I have found the support foundation I need to get me over the top. With this site and my two daughters' support, I will be content. I will not be swayed nor denied.

Thank you!

Hi Valentina,

I had the RNY because that was the only surgery that would help with the diabetes. I haven't had any malabsortion issues and was back on my feet within just a few days. There are a lot of people here that will support whatever decision you make, myself included. Good luck on your journey!

You GO Valentina! We've got your back! It is an exciting time watching the weight fall off. Just remember to follow the diet that your doctor give you. If you have problems just drop a line!

Lynn

Thank you, Lynn. Today I took my standard poodle for her walk. This is only the second day since I had my knee replaced in early March that I have been able/allowed to do so. It felt soooo good to walk again. Of course I've lost 37 pounds pre sleeve surgery which I am sure helped. I look forward to getting much more weight off of my major joints which is one of the main reasons I've decided to have a sleeve. One total knee replacement is enough for me!!!

On this site I have found the support foundation I need to get me over the top. With this site and my two daughters' support, I will be content. I will not be swayed nor denied.

Thank you!

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Trending Products

PatchAid Vitamin Patches

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.