I have been doing Curves workouts from 5 weeks after my surgery to present....and I attempt to get in 5 hours a week. I'm really working hard to tone up and regain my center/core.

Well, I was on the stretch out machine and this average weight women - started chatting up that the circuit really does not "do" anything for weightloss but that doing cardio makes the biggest difference. Well, I cannot completely deny that but I made the comment that I was attempting to build back my core and muscle structure. She asked why....well, I have not been shy about sharing that I had Lapband....so I said, well, I've recently lost 85 lbs due to lapband, nutrition changes, and working out.

The woman started sniffling CRYING and asked if I just hated myself to get that big. I was dumbfounded - I've never been asked that, nor seen that reaction! I said that I did not hate myself but that the gain happened slowly over many years due to illness and it just got to a breaking point to want to do the surgery. She said that she could not understand how ANYONE could ever get to that point of weight gain.

Has anyone else had this reaction from people?

First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on the 85 lb loss!!

Sounds like an odd reaction to me as well. How good of a friend is this lady? If she's just a casual acquaintance via Curves, it would be my guess that she has some deeper issues within herself and may be looking to you for some answers. It may or may not have been a personal remark toward you. Either way, it is a bit odd.

I attended Curves (pre-band) for 1.5 yrs and didn't lose much weight, but did lose a few inches. Wasn't worth it in the long run without making ALL the lifestyle changes. I did feel better about myself though.

Good for you on sticking with an exercise program along with the other things!! Kudos to you!! :banana

I think that people that have never been overweight truly can't understand it. And can't understand why you just don't eat less. Seems simple enough.

Hi 3Loves! Welcome to Bandland!! I hope that you are feeling well and making it though the initial days. Thanks for your compliments....I'm working hard but have a long way to go to goal.

I called her "friend" because, in my experience, everyone that works out at the Curves that I attend acts like you are their best friend. They have NO problem just coming up to you and talking about your weightloss...their weightloss....other female issues...etc. I have seen this woman before but never really spoken with her.

I'm sure that it was not personal towards me.....just seemed strange that some people automatically think that we all HATE ourselves and force feed until we are so fat that we turn to surgery.

Curves has just help me lose the inches....I've lost 48 inches and 65 lbs since joining there. I've lost an eight year old! *LOL*

That is really strange. Sounds like she's got some issues, herself. Congrats on the HUGE weight loss! Sounds like you've really found what works for you.

Even those of us who have been overweight find it hard to understand sometimes. I find myself looking at my girlfriend who must be 150kg (300lb+) and wondering HOW she could not have done anything about it. Not in a nasty way, but I know how bad I felt when I was 35 kg overweight, I simply could not have allowed that to become 70kg. I was at breaking point when I did something.

So even though I know how it creeps up on you, I still find it hard to understand how others ignore their problem far longer than I did.

I would NEVER say that to someone though, that would be really hurtful and rude. Its one of those things you might think but keep to yourself. And I wouldnt ever think of it or frame it in terms of "hating" yourself as if you've done something to be ashamed of.

Puddinpie - Thanks! I read your blog and I loved it! Your pictures from your cruise are awesome and you look fantastic too! WOOHOO - Hottie boy! I hope that I can find a guy like yours!!!

Stitchy - isn't it amazing how many people just say "cut down on what you eat and exercise more - and your problem will go away!" ? Well, considering I barely ate before surgery - THANKS for the advice, skinny person!

It sounds like a bizarre reaction to me also.

As for the "how can someone let letselves get that big" argument I think everyone has a different "breaking point". Mine came when I went to a restaurant with friends and found the seat was very "tight" when I sat down....it was basically the last straw!

I'm 5ft 7 (170cm) and 275lbs (125kg).

Now those statistics to someone 100lbs heavier don't sound too bad but to someone 100lbs lighter it sounds like a nightmare.....to me it's just normal.

When I see someone much heavier than me I don't think "how did they let themselves get that big" I usually feel sympathy because I know a little of what they are going through.

As for hating myself for getting this big....yes, there are days when I ABSOLUTELY hate myself, there are days when I feel like things could be MUCH worse then there are days when I feel fine about my size but I do realise that there are many people who have never been obese who are disgusted/horrified by my size..........that's their problem.

If she started crying then she is hiding something about herself. And she's a weirdo.

people are strange and exspecially the ladies that goes to curves. I was a member of a curves and all they seemed to like about the workout was the drama that is going on in someone elses life. If there wasn't any drama that day they would cause drama. After awhile curves no longer worked for me, and i couldn't handle the drama so i quit.