Hi everyone - I'm new here, and am hesitating to post this, because its my first post here and I don't want people to think that I am a raving witch! I just don't know where else to go. I need a place to vent...so please don't judge.

I am almost 2 years out - lost 85, had an unfill and have regained nearly 30 in 3 months. Am I pissed off? Umm...YES! And I don't mean to come off as a wretch, but I don't want sunshine and sweetness & anyone to tell me that everything will be fine once I can be re-filled. Its my fault I regained & I am an idiot for it. I regained by eating LOTS of crap food, not because I ate too much broccoli. I regained because even though I *thought* I had learned something with this band, that *maybe* I had actually been losing weight because of the great choices I was making and blah blah blah, really it was the band that made me lose the weight, and without it I feel completely vulnerable. I hate that I feel that, too, because I am a strong hear-me-roar-kind of person usually. Before, I felt legitimately happy for people as I saw them lose tons of weight each month - and now I am turning jealous and bitter. Before, I admired people who said they could eat like birds and never cheated, and now (new cynic in me) says "NO ONE can eat like that - they're lying! Everyone cheats, right?" I really am a nice person - I swear! I hate that this is all changing who I am.

So please don't flame me for being honest. I just really hate being fat and hate that my band isn't helping me, and hate that I haven't been able to help myself.. (except to seconds and thirds LOL...)

You're so right about the "other side of the coin" -- and I do know what needs to be done and I was doing it (so I know I CAN do it) -- its just that being away from all the rules for what feels like so long, I just hope I still have it in me to do the right thing. **fingers crossed** Thanks though - I appreciate all of the insight and support so much!

You alread know what you have to do, so now you can get back on the program. Welcome to LBT! Keep us posted!

Thank you Betty, Marys and GeezerSue (oops - I missed your response yesterday - sorry!) Its time to say "enough is enough" and "I'm worth making the changes for" - I know that much. Its so so frustrating to know you've made the decision to have surgery and then feel like you've made the changes towards being healthy -- BTW I SERIOUSLY thought that I had changed my habits - but without the band there to help, I have been completely lost. Its been eye-opening to say the very least. It will be a battle for sure all the way for me -- and GeezerSue -- lord help the person who tells me that they need to take this thing back in 3 years!! LOL After this unfill experience, I will be kicking and screaming to be unfilled again let alone have it removed!!! I'm glad you had an alternative option thats working for you -- wishing you continued success.