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Fears, Expectations, Goals

You've been through a lot before even getting to this point. There's so much ahead of you, too.What are your fears about your pending lifestyle change?What are your expectations about how this is going to change you - your life - your family and friends? Your job?What are your goals in getting this surgery? Is it to lose a number of pounds, or co-morbidities, or get to a certain size?

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I think the main goal for me is to be able to use the band as a tool and to fully recognize and change all of the sabotaging behavior that surrounds me (myself, family, friends, co-workers). I am a former construction contractor that went from being in the field, working to changing careers and sitting at a desk. I have five children (2 sons, 25 and 24 yrs old (mine), a son and daughter, 17 and 14 yrs old (his) and a 7yr old daughter (ours). I used to have this really active lifestyle that kind of offset all of the great food that we surrounded ourselves with. I have always been a little heavier than the society normal, but was active, so I really never noticed the extra weight. Over the last nine years I have ballooned. Yes I had a baby at 37, and changed my career, but that really is no excuse. I have been on a perpetual diet for the last nine years as well, to no avail. When my knees and asthma started getting worse, then the high blood pressure kicked in I knew I had to really take an accountability of my own actions and how I could change my body and my life.

I have so many things to be thankful for and discovering the band was one of those things that somehow just continually pops up all around you (I call it God's nudge). I started researching and spoke with several doctors that I know and many had positive thoughts about the band compared to the other bariatric surgeries. I went to a seminar, started researching online and made a conscious decision to follow this through. My husband is supportive, although I think the stress of this becoming a reality has hit him pretty hard (recent posts about him losing is fool mind). My older sons are tentatively supporting my decision, but just want me to be safe and healthy. My in-laws have been great, praying for me and pepping me up. My parents - not so much, but I did not really think that they would be. Above all I am aware of the possibilities that this surgery affords me - better health, and a more active lifestyle.

I have had seven months or better to prepare for this surgery, and although the pre-op diet is currently messing with my mind, I am more than ready for the rest of this journey to begin. I do fear the gas pains after, but my biggest fear is the nausea and anxiety from the anesthesia (I have had 3 C-sections and each time was worse). I have warned the doctor and I have a prescription for 4 days of anti-nausea medication (1 before and 3 after). I think as the time gets closer I will be experiencing my family's anxiety and stress and they are watching my resolve. If I am stressed they will be also, and this does not help any of us. Basically have no choice but to stress in private and be everyone else's rock - not fair, but it is our family dynamic.

The things that I cannot wait to enjoy:

1. normal width shoes,

2. feeling that when strangers look at you they aren't judging how much you weigh,

3. Not feeling out of breath walking 2 blocks or up a flight of stairs,

4. feeling comfortable enough to scuba dive again

5. Going sailing with our friends and being a good mate, not just the passenger,

6. Actually finding clothes that fit and not crying in the fitting room every time,

7. Looking in the mirror and feeling a sense of accomplishment that I have succeeded in my goal to drop 100 lbs. and know that I have the right tools to keep it off.

We each have a different story, but our goals are very similar. We are on this journey together and I am happy that I have so many cheerleaders, it really does make it easier.

akwright68, your goals sound a lot like some of mine. Other than the sailing, and scuba diving. I would be a beginner and scuba diving has always been a goal, but now I'm chickening out. I would love to be down with the colorful beautiful fish among the coral and reefs and undersea beauty. My oldest daughter and I used to talk about it and I said if I ever get to where I would look good in a wetsuit, she and I will do it. I'm hoping she doesn't remember that promise.

My surgery is just a few days ahead of yours. I will try to post daily for the first few days with my perception of the procedure and recovery. When you get to that point, if you have questions, please ask. I may not know the "correct" answer, but I can tell it how it was for me.

I think the main goal for me is to be able to use the band as a tool and to fully recognize and change all of the sabotaging behavior that surrounds me (myself, family, friends, co-workers). I am a former construction contractor that went from being in the field, working to changing careers and sitting at a desk. I have five children (2 sons, 25 and 24 yrs old (mine), a son and daughter, 17 and 14 yrs old (his) and a 7yr old daughter (ours). I used to have this really active lifestyle that kind of offset all of the great food that we surrounded ourselves with. I have always been a little heavier than the society normal, but was active, so I really never noticed the extra weight. Over the last nine years I have ballooned. Yes I had a baby at 37, and changed my career, but that really is no excuse. I have been on a perpetual diet for the last nine years as well, to no avail. When my knees and asthma started getting worse, then the high blood pressure kicked in I knew I had to really take an accountability of my own actions and how I could change my body and my life.

I have so many things to be thankful for and discovering the band was one of those things that somehow just continually pops up all around you (I call it God's nudge). I started researching and spoke with several doctors that I know and many had positive thoughts about the band compared to the other bariatric surgeries. I went to a seminar, started researching online and made a conscious decision to follow this through. My husband is supportive, although I think the stress of this becoming a reality has hit him pretty hard (recent posts about him losing is fool mind). My older sons are tentatively supporting my decision, but just want me to be safe and healthy. My in-laws have been great, praying for me and pepping me up. My parents - not so much, but I did not really think that they would be. Above all I am aware of the possibilities that this surgery affords me - better health, and a more active lifestyle.

I have had seven months or better to prepare for this surgery, and although the pre-op diet is currently messing with my mind, I am more than ready for the rest of this journey to begin. I do fear the gas pains after, but my biggest fear is the nausea and anxiety from the anesthesia (I have had 3 C-sections and each time was worse). I have warned the doctor and I have a prescription for 4 days of anti-nausea medication (1 before and 3 after). I think as the time gets closer I will be experiencing my family's anxiety and stress and they are watching my resolve. If I am stressed they will be also, and this does not help any of us. Basically have no choice but to stress in private and be everyone else's rock - not fair, but it is our family dynamic.

The things that I cannot wait to enjoy:

1. normal width shoes,

2. feeling that when strangers look at you they aren't judging how much you weigh,

3. Not feeling out of breath walking 2 blocks or up a flight of stairs,

4. feeling comfortable enough to scuba dive again

5. Going sailing with our friends and being a good mate, not just the passenger,

6. Actually finding clothes that fit and not crying in the fitting room every time,

7. Looking in the mirror and feeling a sense of accomplishment that I have succeeded in my goal to drop 100 lbs. and know that I have the right tools to keep it off.

We each have a different story, but our goals are very similar. We are on this journey together and I am happy that I have so many cheerleaders, it really does make it easier.

I will keep you in my prayers. We're in this together. Susan

  • Author

akwright, what a great response. Thank you! The gas pains are tolerable, they suck, but they are temporary :)

 

The surgery recovery woes will fall away! In fact, soon after surgery most people feel "disappointingly normal" LOL. Like "I don't feel the band. This sucks." It's there, and as the weeks pass and you start getting fills it will work. It sounds like you are so ready for this. Looking forward to the journey with you!

Cindy - don't be afraid, try to snorkle first and then go from there. Some people can handle it, but there are a few that get a claustrophobic feeling from the mask and all of the gear. It is a way to teach you how to use "mind over matter". When you have to fill your mask with water and hold it there for a few minutes and teach yourself not to panic. My original instructor felt that his students needed to know how to handle the possible problems like masks falling off, air lines clogging, etc. It really helped when some of those things happened over the many dives that I have completed. Above all do what you are comfortable with and just be happy with that. Baby steps. Please keep me posted on your surgery. I wish for us all to have easy surgeries and peaceful recoveries.

Susan, thank you for your posts and messages. I really do have worries about the anesthesia, anxiety and possible nausea. Thank you for your prayers. I pray for us all (I hope that does not offend any non-believers).

Kateeryn, thank you for that. I look forward to feeling normal. When the eating occurs and I screw up and eat too much or too fast, I will remember it's there. Somehow I think it will be screaming loudly to remind me. LOL

I do look forward to this journey everyday. Each day is different and you accomplish a little more. Today my accomplishment is not killing all of the men in my living room and kitchen enjoying the smorgasbord of junk food waiting for the game to start. So far that is ten of them, and have I mentioned how my husband does not have a privacy filter? They all know about the liquid diet and are teasing me each time I go out in the kitchen or living room. I am stuck in my office studying, sipping on a chocolate protein shake smelling all of it and reminding myself of what the ultimate goal is. Mind over matter. Tomorrow will be a new challenge and with each one that I surpass I get a little stronger. Each of us have gone through this and each of us have different feelings about it and stories of it. I tend to let it out and then it's over with - nothing held back here.

I will make it through the next few hours. My pride will stay intact and no bodily harm will be rendered on any of the inconsiderate jerks that we call "friends", at least by me anyway.

Again, thank you all for your kind words of encouragement and for listening to my venting. I am here for each of you as well. WE can accomplish anything, sometimes we needs words of wisdom and encouragement to help, but we are stronger in numbers and in spirit.

All I can say is that my 25 year old son shut them all up cold and he is my hero today. My hubby, not so much. I will make is through today, and tomorrow and the next day. I am stronger than my mind hunger, although I have gone through 3 boxes of broth and 4 shakes already. That is okay though. I have not and will not cheat. Thank you for all the support.

Hi every one I am just a bit anxious about what foods to have available right after surgery and for the next couple of weeks. I really do not like broth so is it bad just to drink all protien shakes? And I am also scared about eating to fast and embaressing myself in front of others. I have thought long and hard about this for three years and now as the date gets closer fear is starting to creep up but everytime I come to this website there is such encouringing stories which helps alot. Does anyone know any good websites to go to for menus for bariatric surgery or where to find some good recipes?

  • Author

Hi every one I am just a bit anxious about what foods to have available right after surgery and for the next couple of weeks. I really do not like broth so is it bad just to drink all protien shakes? And I am also scared about eating to fast and embaressing myself in front of others. I have thought long and hard about this for three years and now as the date gets closer fear is starting to creep up but everytime I come to this website there is such encouringing stories which helps alot. Does anyone know any good websites to go to for menus for bariatric surgery or where to find some good recipes?

 

Hi there and welcome! There is nothing to fear...fear will sap your energy. Try to approach this in a positive and optimistic manner. You spent a lot of time planning this - you will do well because you want it!

 

As far as diet, there are books out there for post bariatric surgery (and even banding) so try to google it. Also, your doctor will give you guidelines/menus. All doctors have different pre and post op instructions, so I'd ask them your question about no broth and all protein shakes. You're going to do great!!

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