Okay.....so.... Hopefully this will make sense as I am so mad/sad I can't think.

Or rather my weight is all I can think about.

I want to go to the doctors and not hear " you need to loose weight" or "because you are overweight" or "this happens to bigger girls".

It seems to me that every time I go to the doctors it is something new, that can be directly linked to my weight. This isn't to say that I want a new ailment I just want to go once and not hear these things . I left my obgyn crying ( I waited till I was in the parking lot) and cried all the way home.

What the hell have I done to my body, why have I let myself get this big. What is wrong with me, I can't even do overweight right. Most overweight girls I know have big boobs or pretty faces. I have neither. Oh and add to that my hair is so thin you can see my scalp I will be bald soon.

I have tried talking to my husband, bless his soul, but I cry and then I get angry because I know this is all my fault. He tries to be supportive he says "he loves me just the way I am" or " it's ok honey everyone thinks you are special". Then I hear him tell my son ( he's 24) " your mom is having some sort of mid life crisis" ........ Grrrrr he doesn't get it.

I have been eating salads and chicken and fish, watching my portions, and drinking so much Water I am surprised I don't float. I get on the scale at the doctors and have gained 2.5 lbs. which makes me look like a jackass because I just excitedly told him about being so good with my food.

I know people here will think " go to therapy girl". Been there done that my therapist thinks these emotions are normal for someone "who is overweight" and that I need to recognize the problem and work on it. My pcp and my therapist want me to get wls, my insurance plan will not cover it. I have applied for care credit and am waiting patiently..... NOT.

WOW I feel a little better.

Love me hate me, it is what it is!!!!!

Thank you

I am so sorry for all of the pain that you have gone through. I've had doctors tell me things too and make comments. During the summer I was having a terrible time with my neck and shoulders and was in so much pain. I decided to go to a

Massage therapist who told me that my problem was my weight and that I needed to lose weight. I was crying as he gave me the massage because I felt so bad that I had gotten so overweight and I was embarrassed. I cried the whole day after that. It was like he was telling me something I didn't already know - like I had no idea that I was overweight. It still makes me cry.

Well I got my lapband on 9/13 and I've lost 18 pounds. I don't want to go through the next half of my life being overweight. I knew I had to change because what I was doing wasn't working. Reduce my calories and try to eat healthy then I was starving and binged, tried nutrisystem, weight watchers, the shaker crap, pills, everything. Lapband was my only hope and I'm so happy that I've been able to get it done!

My health insurance does not cover weight loss surgery and my husband's employer actually has a rider on the policy forbidding any kind of weight loss surgery. I had to go to a plastic surgery clinic and pay cash. Most places do offer payment plans and usually they are decent payments too.

My advise to you is to try it. You can do research, look on this website, talk to your doctors and just see. I understand that it is expensive and it might be hard to swing it. My calorie intake has been so much less and my part of the grocery bill has decreased. I pack up my lunch and Breakfast for work (no eating out for lunch) and I've gone out to eat with my husband and can just get sides (like scrambled egg or soup).

I wish you the very best of luck and I am so sorry for the nastiness that you have endured. It's really sad the way people treat others.

Thank you all!!!!! I feel much better today. I have spent the last couple nights reading threads on this site and it really helped. Had a talk with my husband ( I scared him when I went on my rant) he is standing behind me 100%. ? Is it normal for the spouses to worry you are going to get skinny and leave them. Hubby says he knows it is stupid put it is a small fear he has. We have been together 20yrs I am not going anywhere.

In my case I would have to say yes my wife was very worried about me getting skinny and leaving her I think it was one of the driving reasons she asked me to stop the process when I was originally scheduled for surgery a few years ago. It just took me until this summer to make her realize that as far as I'm concerned I had won the marriage Lottery and that I wanted too do it, so that I could be around with her in my life longer.

Bariatric surgery is tough marriages! Just make sure you are giving your husband extra tlc before and after the procedure.

I think my husband has some of the same insecurites. He married me this size. I just have to show him our love goes way beyond the way that I look.

We have all been right where you are so don't feel alone! Seriously though doctors amaze me with some of the things they say. I actually had this skinny prissy doctor start in on me about my weight and i was there for strep throat! I'm like is this a joke? My automatic diagnosis is your a fatty!? Yes I'm aware but being fat did not give me strep you little hag!

This made me laugh out loud! Literally! Thanks!