Tonight I had a huge emotional breakdown. Over tired, over hungry, feeling shitty after not being acknowledged by anyone at a social gathering.

Hit taco bell with a friend on the way home and thought I made decent choices but after looking them up realized my choices totaled a thousand calories. Freaked out threw the food out the window (real dramatic I know). And had to pull over and literally sobbing.

I haven't wanted to go on an insane binge this bad since I had surgery.

My exercise just kicked into balls to the wall status since being cleared, I'm not at adequate fill level, im not taking my Vitamins regulalry and there's a lot going on in my life.

I'm about a month and a half post op and I guess the pink cloud finally burst and this has become really real.

I've struggled with drug addiction on my past and in resolving that a food addiction was born and tonight I just wanted to say f'it and either binge til I puked and then binge again or get loaded or both. Ugh not a happy place to be. I expected some real rough seas ahead before I got the surgery but since I made it this long with out losing it I thought I was in the clear.

Encouragement, empathy, or how you've dealt with this kinda stuff would be really helpful.

Right on Thunder !!!

So glad to read the update! Sorry your social gathering kicked off such a sad reaction, but I hope you can work on not worrying about anyone but YOU for the time being! Glad you got away, sounds like it did you good! I'm getting my band next month, and I am not looking forward to the melt-downs, but at least I know they are coming!

I went into a severe depression a month after surgery, thinking what the heck did I do to me. I also ran into the guy that talked me into having this surgery instead of pushing for the gastric operation. He kept apologizing for encouraging me to have this surgery and I told him it was not his fault. I hated everything and everybody UNTIL the weight started to melt off of me and the sizes dropped down. I did get over it and have a new life now and saw the same neighbor that recommended the surgery and he could not believe his eyes when he saw all the weight I got off and how I looked. Now he is trying to talk his wife into getting the surgery and she is not happy with how I look, she won't even say "hi" to me anymore. Must be she liked me fat and not appealing to her husband and now that has changed.