Stop The Madness
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I was banded April 10, 2008, and I have had great success with the Realize band. I had lost 166 pounds up until a few months ago. My weight started to creep back on because I know I got "relaxed" about my band. I was eating and doing things I KNOW I wasnt supposed to be doing, yet I still allowed myself to do it. Like the saying goes, old habits die hard. After I got married in 2010 the pressure of being in the beautiful wedding gown was gone, and well I got comfortable and let myself "slide" on things here and there. When I got married in October of 2010 I weight 195, and felt so GOOD about myself. Today as I type this my weight has gone back up to 250 pounds. For the last 7 weeks I have been on prednisone, aka "the devil's drug". Since I started the medication 7 weeks ago I have gained at least 25 pounds. If you have ever been on it then you know it makes your appetite go NUTS! The higher the dose the more ravenous you are. There have been days where I want to put ketchup on a shoe and just eat it! Thank GOD my Dr is weaning me off of the drug, and I hope it will be over soon.
I do have a point, Im just taking a long time to get there, sorry. I feel like an oompa loompa since I have gained some weight back. Since all this madness began 7 weeks ago I have had two fills in my band because I had to have some Fluid removed due to being to tight. I am at 5.5 cc's now, and while I feel like I am getting full in a good amount of time I still feel like I am eating too much and I am in some ways out of control. I guess what I am saying is I feel like I have failed my band and myself, and that Im not sure what it is going to take to get me back to 195, so I can get to my ultimate goal weight of 145. I remind myself Ive done this before, and I can do it again. Why cant I get back on track? Why has my get up and go, gotten up and went?? Where is the motivation I once has that got me to onderland? Has anyone seen it? If so can you fedex it back to me?
So is anyone else been in this situation and perhaps been able to find their way out and get motivated again? Does anyone have any words of wisdom for me? I am open to anything at this point. Thanks for reading!