Ok. I have a weird dilemma. Let me start with some background.

Hi. I’m Janet. I’m a food addict. Scratch that. I’m obsessive compulsive. Period. You name it. Give me something to obsess about & I will, lol. Compulsively. :roll:

So… I’m trying to break my food addiction. With the help of the band, my husband, surgeon, family, friends & God, I will succeed. (I joined the school of positive speaking yesterday, lol, bear with me. :welldone2:)

Most folks starting a diet start… um… how to put it kindly… obsessing. :Banane21: Count those calories! Count the fat grams! Count the carb grams! Count the Protein grams! Count the bites! Count the hours! Count the water!

Oh, and don’t forget to weigh!!

So you lose one addiction only to replace it with 20. I’ve decided that that is not the life for me. I’d really like to free myself, not sign up for extra duty.

That being said, I’d like to see progress happen. And I guess I’d like it to be something I CAN control. In other words, not scale or measurement related. ’Cuz if I hit a plateau, I can’t effect the scale or measurements not changing.

I don’t want to get discouraged when my progress slows or stops. I want to see my ticker go go go go go go!

Anyone got any ideas? I love hearing the stories from old-time bandsters that say they don’t even really THINK about food anymore. Oh my goodness! What I wouldn’t give!

So, I don’t want to obsess, but I don’t want to give up. “Plan your work & work your plan” & yadda yadda yadda.

**Sigh** I’m scattered. Sorry, lol. Guess without an obsession I’m lost. Somebody help me!! :scared:

Thanks for any thoughts or ideas!

Well, now, let's see. One thing pops to mind, so try this idea out:

"Worry is a hobby, don't confuse it with a useful act." Maybe instead of obsessing over calories, fat grams, protein grams, scales, and so on...spend some time obsessing over NOT OBSESSING. No matter what, your scales, and your ticker, are not going to smoothly move down, down, down. (Of course, as soon as I say this, 14 people will write to tell you that their scales do!) Anyway, I feel you on the obsession-thing...but I am working on getting over that little habit, or hobby, as the quote I shared with you simply states. I guess you can start by exploring the need to control...and understanding that you don't (actually!) have to! Janet, PLEASE take this as some thought-provoking input, and not that I am the guru of anti-obsession...I'm just sharing some stuff I think about when I come to the same place you are in right now. You are doing great!

Cindy

Hi Janet!

I would suggest that you take a look at what your normal eating and exercise patterns are, and evaulate how you might want to tweak them to keep you on the path.

List all the tweaks you could make - both the ones you are currently willing/able to do, as well as the ones you are no way no how willing/able to do.

Then, pick ONE of those things to work on (go from easiest to hardest), and set teeny tiny goals. Keep working on this one thing until you reach your end goal for that item, and it has become a habit that you no longer think about. Then tackle the next easiest one.

Good luck! Keep us posted! :welldone2:

I can only tell you what works for me is no diet. I tried every diet on earth before being banded and as soon as I went off it I gained twice as much back. Diets just don't work for me. As soon as you tell me I can't have something, I want it twice as bad, and if I don't eat it I will eat 100 other things to try to get what I wanted in the first place.

I eat normal, just like every other human being in the world eats, I just eat smaller amounts. Some to the things that I know is really bad like ice cream, etc. I have once in a while instead of every day, and I also eat a smaller amount than I did prior to banding. I never tell myself I can't have something! Now, since I am not dieting and nothing is off limits, when I do have a treat I am not going "off" any diet. It just works for me. I don't count calories, I don't weigh, or measure any of my foods.

I have hit a plateau several times since my banding, sometimes I lost inches instead of pounds, other times the scale stayed the same, but I didn't feel bad. I don't have to get to my goal weight tomorrow, I have time to get there, and I still enjoy myself along the way.

I don't know if this helps you or not, but hopefully it will give you some ideas.

Here is a thought that you may want to consider, make a list of the criteria you believe makes someone a good person. This is a personal list so you don't need to share it with anyone. Next choose a couple of items on the list that you think you could work on. Then define some actions that would seen as verification of the criteria. An example might be on the list you have writen kindness and charity as qualities of a good person and an action that you could take to show those qualities might be to volunteer with a charity. You can then work on becoming a better person by measuring how you are doing against the actions on your list.

Being overwieight does not make you a bad person nor am I trying to imply that you need to work on being a better person. But if you want to focus on something focus on being a better person. You will feel much better about youself and your obsession with weight and weight loss will be diminished because you will feel much better about yourself.

Just a thought

Heyas Janet! You know, I think it's very normal to be completely focused on your new lifestyle and to be anxious to see the pounds falling off. Although weighing in the morning, then again after you pee, before you get in the shower, after you get out of the same shower, yadda yadda yadda! LOL That was me! I was driving myself nuts. Dawg finally took the batteries out of the scale and hid them. They go in once a week now. At first, I was even stepping on the scales knowing they werent going to work. Once I searched the bathroom for the battery! But now it's been six weeks and I'm relaxed about it. I look forward to weigh in because I know I'm only looking for 2 pounds gone. Two pounds. Can you imagine what your body does during the week? The ups and downs it must go through before settling down to that two pound loss? I am so much less stressed about it now. Weigh in is now fun!

And I don't think there is anything wrong with tracking your daily intake. It's so easy to fool ourselves. "Oh, I'm not eating that much" and then we add it up afterwards and say "Oh crap!" *laughs*

Dawg put together an Excel spreadsheet for anyone to use that lets you track your daily intake (counting your calories and Proteins only - although you could add columns for carbs and fat if you wanted. You can download the zip file from this thread if you're interested:

http://lapbandtalk.com/showthread.php?t=14941&page=2

(post #23)

Also, I would like to ditto Mousecrazy's disclaimer below. It's a shame things have come to this, but since it's obviously necessary to cover our bums when we share what works for us.. well.. you know. *smiles*

Janet, PLEASE take this as some thought-provoking input, and not that I am the guru of anti-obsession...I'm just sharing some stuff I think about when I come to the same place you are in right now.

Thanks - you guys have given us a pretty good start...

We have a couple of built-in advantages to help with our fight against measuring... first of all, we can't weigh all that often. Because of my enormous... um... personality... I can't use a regular scale - and it just seemed to be a waste of money to buy a more... um... talented scale. I know that the cost of a new scale is nothing compared to the cost of 2 self-pay WLS events in the course of a week, along with 2 years of follow-up, but not all music producers are 'big time' music producers :welldone2: The trips to the doc's office are sufficient for us to get an idea of our weight.

And we are fairly advanced dieters... we both learned to count at a very young age, and we can apply that esoteric skill to all kinds of things: calories, carbs, fat grams, Protein grams, percentage of our RDA of riboflavin, etc. But since we're doing a pretty good job of following our menu, we're not really obsessing about that anymore either.

One thing that we considered - and eventually discarded - was the use of measurements... specifically inches lost. Janet dragged out her old weight loss journal and started filling in the blanks again: waist, thigh, knee, calf, hip (natural), hip (realistic), chest, bust, ribs, bicep, wrist, neck, ankle, big toe, aura, ego ... ok, so I made the last 3 up, but you see where I'm going...

So I think we'll look at some of the suggestions you guys have thrown out... in particular, the 'good person' concept. We'd already started talking along those lines.

I do realize that it's important for goals to be measurable - so our challenge will be to isolate some appropriate actions and identify some targets for them - and of course some rewards!

I can only tell you what works for me is no diet. I tried every diet on earth before being banded and as soon as I went off it I gained twice as much back. Diets just don't work for me. As soon as you tell me I can't have something, I want it twice as bad, and if I don't eat it I will eat 100 other things to try to get what I wanted in the first place.

I eat normal, just like every other human being in the world eats, I just eat smaller amounts. Some to the things that I know is really bad like ice cream, etc. I have once in a while instead of every day, and I also eat a smaller amount than I did prior to banding. I never tell myself I can't have something! Now, since I am not dieting and nothing is off limits, when I do have a treat I am not going "off" any diet. It just works for me. I don't count calories, I don't weigh, or measure any of my foods.

I have hit a plateau several times since my banding, sometimes I lost inches instead of pounds, other times the scale stayed the same, but I didn't feel bad. I don't have to get to my goal weight tomorrow, I have time to get there, and I still enjoy myself along the way.

I don't know if this helps you or not, but hopefully it will give you some ideas.

YES - what Betty said. :welldone2:

No dieting! With the list of things to work on, I was thinking (but not saying) things like getting in your Water, moving the bod regularly, replacing some less nutritious things with more nutritious things occasionally, that kind of stuff.

And I love the TommyO suggestion as well. I was concentrating more on what might help keep the scale moving downward, even if it wasn't being used regularly, but much better to obsess about how to be a better person, more loving spouse, etc. (Not that you're not perfect just the way you are!)

I personally would like to work on upping my "random acts of anonymous kindness"...

xxoo

:scared:

Why can't be obsessed with exercising? I have the same problem as you and these are great ideas!!

Like Donali & Betty, the "no diet" thing has been working for me, so far. I'm not nearly as experienced as they are, but it just makes since. Dieting, withholding, counting, weighing, measuring is what we've been doing for years and has it worked? Not for me. That's why I love my band and am so grateful for every day I have it.

Also, what works for me personally (chocoholic here), is limiting my chocolate to 1 or 2 small things per week (preferrably on the same day because when I eat a little I want more, same goes for anything sweet really).

It really will get easier after you have an adequate fill. I know when I first was banded I was hungry day of and every day after, until about 3 weeks after my first fill (some require more than 1 fill for good restriction). Until you get to that point it will probably seem really hard - like you're doing it all on your own.

But don't give up, this healing time will pass and you will be in the land of the losing very soon.

Good luck with your progress!

I'm a person of extremes. I will go through periods where I will measure everything, journal all my food, log all my exercise and water. But as soon as the scale stops moving I get fed up and stop it all, or let all the pieces of the puzzle scatter. Like at the nutritionist I was telling her what I've been eating in general, letter her know that I do have my bad days, but for the most part this is it. around 1000-1200 calories a day. I thought I was doing good, since most days I get in about an hour of cardio. But then the scale didn't really move much this month. She told me I should find it hard to get in that many calories...(what? I could eat much more...want me to prove it?) and that I should be eating around 800. Of course on the way home I called hubby all upset...with the dramatic "i'll die!". He laughed, not realizing I was being perfectly serious. So I came home and ate....I ate chicken salad....then waited a bit...had a few crackers with cheese.....and then a few more. I had peanut butter crackers.....And then after I picked up the kids I treated myself to a yogurt and fruit parfiat from Mcdonalds. Could this all of been worse...of course, but the point is that I gave up and gave in. I still don't think I can go down to 800 calories and let my family live, so not sure what I'm going to do there...guess I just keep plugging along with my 2 lbs a month........it'll only take another 3 years to loose the weight at that rate.

I don't understand how a professional can give that kind of advice?!?!

It flies in the face of everything I have read. I would have expected her to look at your exercise level and perhaps suggest that you add a small meal here or there.

Can you get a metabolism breath test somewhere so you can find out exactly how many calories you burn at rest? You want to meet at least the calorie level of your basal metabolism.

IMHO. Of course, I'm fat, so take my advice with huge grains of salt... :tired

I was asking the trainers at the gym today if they knew where I could get the breath test done. I think 800 calories is too low, I was actually starting to worry that 1000-1200 might be...because when I was sucessful loosing weight on other programs I had to eat at the top of the recomended range. Oh and I lost a pound after the feast of yesterday...go figure.

Hehe, sounds like you might need more calories, rather then less. Silly nutritionist!!

I like the idea of the breath test... I need to read up on those (never heard of 'em before this board, I love LBT! )

Thanks so much everyone for your awesome ideas! So far I've gleaned:

1. Obsess about not obsessing (lol, this one's right up my alley!)

2. Pick small things to tweak & only obsess about one thing until it's a habit.

3. Make a list of future tweaks so you don't have to think about them daily, just add to the list (I use this in other areas of life, makes sense!)

3. Don't kill yourself with rules / diets (I'm SOOOO rebellious, so that's a very wise recommendation).

4. Focus on something other then food... work to become a better me.

I like 'em!!

I do think at some point I'm going to have to count calories, just to find out what 1000 - 1200 calories looks like with my current eating style (more Protein then ever in my life). But once I get a baseline idea, I really want to throw away my food diary.

Thanks so much for all the thoughtful answers & great ideas! I'll let you know how it goes!!

For today my goal is... um... to actually do the homework for our psyche group, lol. Ya'll just helped me do one of the assignments! :clap2: Thanks!

My surgeons said "no diets or calorie counting." "It didn't work before and won't work now." At least that is his philosphy. Sounds like something you could work with???

Eat your (3) meals a day, until full (protein first). Drink your Water and exercise. This is my surgeons philosphy...quite simple eh?

Shawn

Shawn -

I like your surgeon - he sounds very Enlightened...