You know what..... I come here to share and to reach out for help, to offer support to others that are hurting, to learn from those who have been through what I have been through. I am new, emotional and need of some undertanding and TLC. I don't appreciate having anyone tare my posts apart and laugh at what I say. This isn't supportive ....

I need help, not sarcasm which doesn't seem possible here. I am sooo tired of this back and forth bullshit.

Thanks to those who have offered help. I wish you all the best.

Donna

Like the tide, it all blows, or blows over.

edit to add........dont leave us.....we are mostly a great supportive group

Hi Doc, I don't know what's going on, posts, etc. but I would hate to see someone who has been supportive of others leave the board.

I have to be brutally honest, I don't think those members who are respectful of others on a support need to "buck up" and "toughen up their skin" when having to deal with the more volatile people. I think that is bulldookie. People who consistantly argumentative should be warned and/or ousted.

If this was a sports/movies/art forum people tend to be more abrasive and I'd say to you, just ignore them. But a support board needs to be kept a safe place for people to disclose inner thoughts and lean on people without fear of getting flamed.

I've seen many a good forum go down in flamed because people like that run amok.

Donna, I hope you'll read posts for a while even if you don't feel like posting. Some threads seem to turn into "debates" while others are simply support and exchange. Take what you want, and try to ignore what bothers you. There's simply no way every thread can be all things to all people.

First and foremost, this is a board for information exchange about the Lap Band. Of course there's lots of room for plain old discussion of other topics. I hope you'll stick around in those sections that seem helpful to you.

There are just too many posts by the same people. Over and Over and Over. It is like an exclusive group that runs this board. I have posted what I thought to be interesting threads - and they are not "up-front" long enough to be seen because of the people who post threads constantly, which their band buddies reply to. I think they should just private email each other or use the telephone. Sometimes the threads look like Instant Messaging dialogue.

Personally, I really don't care what anyone thinks anymore. I am so through tip-toeing around this board - watching out for everyones feelings-wading through posts hoping to find something useful - searching - this board is supposed to be about the lap band not what to name our dogs, or where to buy appliances with all the bells and whistles. People who post stuff like that are using up valuable space - And I've just got to think that there is a chat-board out there that would serve them better than this one.

I know that there are people on this board that have become very close friends - And honestly - God bless them, but why not communicate with each other about non-band stuff through some other form of communication?

If all we did was write about banded stuff this board would be very sad, short, and boring.

Banded? Y or N, Problems? Y or N: explain, Hungry? Y or N. List type of band:, Surgeon:, Weight lost:, ***

Emotional problems, questions, and fun stuff not allowed.

Honestly, I would not want to come here if there were not PEOPLE

Imalene, all those off-topic threads are supposed to be limited to one section, the LBT Lounge. They're easy enough to avoid, if you want to.

And you know what? People come and go. Some people come and stay. I hope that LBT serves both constituencies. Get any group of ANYONE together for any length of time, and conversations about movies and cars will crop up. That's just human nature. And one thing we all are, is human.

And you know what? I just realized this thread is in the wrong section. I'm moving it.

Hey, the way I see it most of us have had our share of emotional issues, problems and whatever. Truthfully, many seriously over weight people (like my future former self) suffer from the emotional effects of being over weight along with whatever is going on which got us there. You don't become morbidly obese without your share of brain damage. It doesn't surprise me that this board reflects that.

We are all damaged people. If you pay attention you can tell who is here for help, who is here to help, who is here for fun, who is here because their personalities are so crappy they don't have a life, friends or anything else so they come here to beat up on the rest of us, so on and so on.

Take this all with a grain of salt. It's like chicken, eat the meat and spit out the bones. Don't take this too seriously. Most people here will never meet in person so what difference does it make? Try to be a ray of light every time you post and you can make a difference. IF ALL THE NICE PEOPLE LEAVE, THEN THIS BOARD COULD TURN TO CRAPOLA.

I think another key point is the word "Discussion". I think this board has wonderful opportunity for all things.

There is the opportunity for wonderful support, and equal opportunity for fast past (and heated) discussion.

You can't have a discussion unless people take up contrary standpoints. It's easy to avoid the controversial topics especially if they are posted in the right areas.

I would prefer no one leave, but if that is what is best, all the best to you.

Being pretty much "undamaged" myself I do find myself sometimes wanting to post blunter, more abrupt answers. I read a lot of these discussions and they sound like lists of excuses why people cant change. But I realise that isnt what's needed, that people know that about themselves and they're here for support and friendship. Not for debate.

You can too have a discussion without contradicting standpoints, and I have thoroughly enjoyed lots of them. If I find my feelings that people just need to get with the program and get on with it taking over, I think I"ll bow out quietly, not go posting threads saying exactly that.

Enough already.

I know I am new here but here are my thoughts.....

We are here to support each other: support comes in many different forms, it can be anything from a strong shoulder to lean on to a swift kick in the a$$ or just someone sitting back and listening to us vent.

We are posting our thoughts and oppinons on an open board....if we post something we are going to get different oppinions...and if you think about it "THANK GOODNESS for different oppinions" We are very very lucky to live in a time and society where we are alowed to stand up and state what we think and how we feel in a public forum (could you imagine how sad it would be if we all had to think..feel...act the same?)

If you stand in a room and say something outloud are you not going to get various comments back? Are you not going to get different oppinions? That is what happens here! Thank God for free speech!

We are here to support you and get support ourselves don't let a few potentially misinterpereted (or even not so nice) comments drive you from another amazing tool that we have been given in our lives!

Skye

I'm in agreement that sometimes people use their quote powers for evil. But it's in some people's natures to be contrary and to analyze every word for the purpose of "one-upping" someone else's opinion. I usually leave these threads as soon as the nastiness starts. They don't help and it appears as though they're driving people away. But I don't know how we'd stop it or if we should.

Good luck to those who have decided to leave. I hope you can find the support you need. One avenue might be the smartbandsters through the Yahoo groups. They seem to stay a bit more on the topic of the lap-band. Also, Yahoo may have a local online lap-band support group. I know my local group is fantastic.

When I first visited LBT I kind of felt that way too, like I was intruding on a group of friends. It didn't take long for me to warm up to most everyone on here, it just takes time to get to know some folks and that flows both ways. Senior members to newbies and vice versa. The debates here come and go. we'll have months of niceties, then a hot topic opens a flood gate of various emotions and one or more people will misunderstand anothers meaning or in general just disagree with a poster's stance on a subject. I find that if it starts to get personal, then just staying out of those areas keeps me sane and safe. Every now and then I just don't log on for a while. I check back after a few days to find everyone calmer, friendlier, and in general laughing together over a common fat person trait each of us thought we were alone with. The longer you're around the more you'll feel like a member of the family. Keep in mind that all families squabble from time to time, and it doesn't mean we don't still love one another.

I agree with you vlucky.

The point I think most people overlook is that there can be debate without becoming insulting. And someone can give "tough love" were needed and it will come across well if it's not coming from an angry place.

I think it's easy to tell the difference when someone is debating or giving tough love or just using it as an excuse to work out their own anger and issues on someone else.

I think the bottom line is if your in a debate or you need to smack someone up the side of the head, do it respectfully.

As someone who has not been banded yet, I come here mostly for the off topic threads. I already spent three months researching the band and probably wont have any more questions until I have my band. I come here because I like being among a group of people who share the same goals as I do, losing weight. I like reading and discussing the same issues we have as overweight women, mom's etc. Once I have a band, I will know many people who have gone through it too, and that is very comforting to me.

I can honestly say, if there was no offtopic, I wouldn't have a reason to come back.

Any time we have a family get-together, like a reunion or such, we all take bets on when the conversation is going to turn to shit.

Not shitty conversation, mind you, but an actual discussion of shit.

Somehow, my aunt, who works with special needs adults, or another who is an intensive care nurse, or one of my cousins who have infants will bring up a shit story. We all laugh, and then check the time to see who was closest in guessing when we'd talk about shit.

Any time people talk, shit will work it's way into the conversation. Just be prepared for the shit, and eventually the shit will blow over.

Enough of this shit. Let's get back to the shit we all came here for!