I'd like to suggest that EVERYONE take two steps back when reading posts they feel are directed at them personally, and think if it could be read as a general comment. If it can, it should be.

I'm on another board where people feel they have to qualify every use of the word "you" with "(general you)" and that drives me absolutely NUTS. It's grammatically absurd and shouldn't be necessary anyway. We should just assume that unless someone is directly addressed BY NAME, all advice and commentary is GENERAL.

So that's my hope. Let's start by assuming the best of other posters, and keep the discourse impersonal. Any hurt feelings are usually completely and totally unintentional on the part of the poster.

That is all, carry on. :biggrin1:

Alex - Good for you for saying this. Honestly I was about ready to drop out of this board. It just get's tiresome when you can't just simply voice your opinion without people thinking you are disrespecting them. opinion. I just get sick of hearing/seeing IMHO, IMO, etc. I figure if they are writing it it is their opinion and it is NOT directed at me.

If I write that I think taking Hoodia or other OTC appetite suppressants isn't for me because I swore when I got the band I was not ever gonna "go there" again - it does not mean that I think the person who started the thread is doing anything that needs to be defended.

I just want to speak my mind freely without the fear of hurting someone's feelings.

Patti

Board etiquette is an easy request, but hard to achieve.

This, like any form of communication, is open to misinterpretation. I know my feelings have been most hurt by 'perceived' insults which end up being my misunderstanding.

Text has no tone, no inflection, and unless specifically addressed, no target. It's hard for people to see that though when its on a 'hot' topic and passions are running high.

I personally try and target any controversial opinion that I have (unless its a generic opinion) and if someone misreads me? Their problem.

I think this was an excellently raised point and we all need to examine how we read things.

And when I say 'we' I mean 'everyone' and I also mean 'you' in the specific 'you' of whoever reads this. We could of course invent a few new words:

gyou: Generic you

gyow: Generic You (women)

gyom: Generic you (male)

gyowb: Generic you (women) (banded)

gyomb: Generic you (male) (banded)

ryou: Really... YOU.

iyou: If this applies to you, YOU.

Hell, we could develop our own board language *snicker*

Alex, are you talking to ME??????? :clock:

Sorry, I couldn't resist. I couldn't agree with you more. :hail:

Although Dawg has a very intriguing idea... I kinda of like the new language suggestion.

What do gyou think? Gyow? Gyom? How about ryou?

Gwe really need to stop thinking that everything is about rus. Sometimes it's about gus, even if rwe've just posted. On the other hand, sometimes it really IS about rus, not gus.

Peace and love, geveryone! Assuming ieveryone, of course. IMVHO. Really.

Actually, I think gwe just need to use more emoticons...

OH! Can we add the "s" for "specifically... YOU" - I think that would help clarify things even further. sOkay? gOkay?

Gwe really need to stop thinking that everything is about rus. Sometimes it's about gus, even if rwe've just posted. On the other hand, sometimes it really IS about rus, not gus.

Its about time gyou all figured that its really all about me.

Though ryou rock.

OH! Can we add the "s" for "specifically... YOU" - I think that would help clarify things even further. sOkay? gOkay?

As the founder of this new language, I will add "swe" and "syou" and other "s" words.

"swe"et.

:spit: Yeah, Donali, I'm talking about you. :pound:

A new language is, um, an interesting idea. :fear:

Can't we just speak good ol' Englitch?

Can't we just speak good ol' Englitch?

:notagree boring...

Hello?? I'd like to place a collect call to the FUN Alex. Thank you.

:decision:

ROTFLMAO

I don't know what to say anymore, the last few days on this board have been strange. More than a couple of things have happened that have made me re-think my participation. It seems to me that a board like this should be a place were people should be able to expresss their opinions openly and honeslty. I have read posts recently that have become personal and I think we need this to be a safe place to land. It's okay to disagree, as a mater of fact it's good, hearing differing opinions helps us learn and makes us understand the other side. Second I am seeing some cliquey type stuff happening and it appears if you are part of the team you get great support and are considered one of the good bandsters. If you are not part of the good bandster team you might as well participate just as a reader but not as a full member.

This thread made me finally decide to express this, my thoughts may not belong here but I think that the misinterpretation of the word "you" has led people to react the way they have.

I personally haven't seen much other than acceptance, but then I'm not asking for much support or feedback on anything.

I honestly believe that anyone who asks for support on here will receive it, no matter who they are.

As for whether or not you belong here (you being TommyO) that will have to be an entirely personal call. I know a lot of the bandsters feel bad about the "Erosion - the Real Facts" thread and a lot are removing their comments from the thread. This is making the thread even more incoherrant.

You need to understand that thread blossomed in the space of just a few hours, and was a text 'argument' where various people's feelings were hurt. People get defensive, and the entire thing went south - fast.

I recommend giving it time. I've seen genuinely wonderful and caring people on here, who give back what you put in.

All the best.

Second I am seeing some cliquey type stuff happening and it appears if you are part of the team you get great support and are considered one of the good bandsters. If you are not part of the good bandster team you might as well participate just as a reader but not as a full member.

i can tell you its not even close to how bad it was back in spring of 04'.

I'll keep the rest of my thoughts to myself.

I don't know what to say anymore, the last few days on this board have been strange. ...

I think we need this to be...

Scuze me for truncating your post Tommy O. It was those two points I wanted to comment on...

Yes, it has been a little strange. There were a lot of emotions going on. That's what happens with people. I found it very interesting. And I learned some things... quite a few things actually. It's all part of the process. In my many years on forums (starting in the dark ages of Compuserve) sooner or later a big confrontation like that happens. It's all part of the forum process.

As for what we need this to be... well, I think we need it to be exactly what it is. The moderators do a good job of reigining things in. (I think Alex said she went to bed early, or a couple of threads might have been calmed down a bit.)

Please don't be scared away TommyO. Take what's good for you and leave the rest.

i can tell you its not even close to how bad it was back in spring of 04'.

I'll keep the rest of my thoughts to myself.

Something happened in the Spring of 04? Geez, I thought the Spring of 05 was going to do me in! Remember all THAT?!!!

Hang on, TommyO, it comes around and goes around again. Just ride the wave, we are all friends in the end. Promise!!!

And that's we, the general we, not we, the clique, whoever "we" is...but I gotcha and it will settle.

Here's my message baord peeve...

u try 2 read this msg n tell me u dont hv 2 stop n think no punctuation and txt msg spelling no caps either

ARRRGGHH!!!

Something happened in the Spring of 04? Geez, I thought the Spring of 05 was going to do me in! Remember all THAT?!!!

nope dont remember it. i just came back on here the other day. I stayed completely away.

and truth be told it was only a small handfull of people, just enough to make you make you enjoy fingernails on a chalkboard. :omg:

I type lots of things and then dont post them. I always think "does this add anything" and if it's just rehashing, if I actually feel like saying something to someone in particular or I'm just pushing my opinion when it realy doesnt add alot, I dont post it.

If someting feels like it's directed at me - which hasnt ever happened on this board by the way - I think about it a while before I retaliate.