I'm very open with everyone that I'm having surgery, and have been met with great support. Of course, those who know me know the strugle i've had to lose weight. I just don't understand why people feel the need to hide that they've had surgery? I'd love for someone to come at me and say it's "the easy way" or "cheating". they'd get a real piece of my mind!

even those who i don't know well are receptive and not judgement about my surgery. Are there really that many people who give such hateful feedback?

Just curious...

Nikki

I'm one of those people who have been keeping my surgery a secret. I think mainly because my family are the type of people who would think I gave up when in reality I didn't because it's just as hard! My mother is really the person who I really don't want to tell because I feel like she compares me to my brothers who are Marines and younger than me. Only my ex and 2 of my friends know about my surgery and they are very supportive of my decision. I know one day it will come out but honestly I'm happy the way it is.

I'm one of those people who have been keeping my surgery a secret. I think mainly because my family are the type of people who would think I gave up when in reality I didn't because it's just as hard! My mother is really the person who I really don't want to tell because I feel like she compares me to my brothers who are Marines and younger than me. Only my ex and 2 of my friends know about my surgery and they are very supportive of my decision. I know one day it will come out but honestly I'm happy the way it is.

Well good for you. I guess what confuses me is when people talk about making excuses (late lunch, upset stomach) for not eating. But I understand situations like your where you know you will be met with unpleasantness and don't want to go through the trouble of that. I guess i'm fortunate to be surrounded by understanding people. I'm hoping that my success will inspire my mom and brother to have surgery as well.

I have kept mine a secret because I just don't want the judgement. I talked about it all the time but once I got it I have never mentioned it.

People don't know the difference between a band and bypass. You say you've had surgery, people expect the weight to fall of f of you, and for us Bandsters that doesn't usually happen. I've worked in places where people were very open about their bands, and when they'd walk away you'd hear "I saw her drink a milkshake yesterday" or "she doesn't look any different" or "my cousin had that and gained it all back".

MOST non-banded people don't understand how it works- heck, a lot of banded people don't, either. I have lost 23 pounds in the past 5 weeks by controlling what *I* put in my mouth. No matter what the band does for me, *I* am still the one making my food choices.

I think it's wonderful that people are secure telling others! *I* am not.

People don't know the difference between a band and bypass. You say you've had surgery, people expect the weight to fall of f of you, and for us Bandsters that doesn't usually happen. I've worked in places where people were very open about their bands, and when they'd walk away you'd hear "I saw her drink a milkshake yesterday" or "she doesn't look any different" or "my cousin had that and gained it all back".

MOST non-banded people don't understand how it works- heck, a lot of banded people don't, either. I have lost 23 pounds in the past 5 weeks by controlling what *I* put in my mouth. No matter what the band does for me, *I* am still the one making my food choices.

I think it's wonderful that people are secure telling others! *I* am not.

That's pretty messed up to talk behind someone's back like that. You're right about people not understanding. Food addiction and control is outrageously and to combat, and those who haven't been there probably can't understand. I get that.

I have a friend who had gastric bypass and everyone talks about her because now she has turned into an alcholic plus other problems. I told my Hubby not to tell our friends in that social circle for that very reason.

I am another one who has kept the band a secret (with the exception of a very small group of people). While I would love to be open and upfront about it (i'm not embarassed or ashamed at all), I have some extremely judgemental family members who enjoy making everyone around them feel miserable in order to make themselves feel good. Since I don't want these particular people to know, I chose to just keep quiet about it because you never know who will tell who (even if you ask them not to tell). If people ask, I say that I am working with a nutritionist to change my eating habits and am exercising (which is the truth). Everyone I have told has been very supportive but it is hard to justify telling some people when you aren't telling certain family members.

My family knows, and my 2 closest friends know, but other than that I have chosen not to tell people.

Frankly, I just don't think my weight is anyone else's business. I felt that way when I was fat, and I feel that way now. I neither want to be scrutinized or gossiped about because of my surgery/weight, nor do I want to be anyone's poster-child for WLS. I just absolutely don't need the pressure of measuring up to anyone's expectations but my own.

My family knows, and my 2 closest friends know, but other than that I have chosen not to tell people.

Frankly, I just don't think my weight is anyone else's business. I felt that way when I was fat, and I feel that way now. I neither want to be scrutinized or gossiped about because of my surgery/weight, nor do I want to be anyone's poster-child for WLS. I just absolutely don't need the pressure of measuring up to anyone's expectations but my own.

Well said!!!

I am only telling one family member and one friend. I also do not want to be judged and gosspiped about. I also don't want the pressure of having people ask constantly about my weight. I guess it's kind of like having people asking about when the baby is finally going to be born while you are pregnant and a few days overdue.

I was very open about it and sometimes I regret it and other times I think, "what else would I say". If someone, who is over weight, ask you how you did it - what do you say? Diet and exercise? That just doesn't seem fair - after all, we had it done since diet and exercise didn't work for us.......

I have kept my up coming surgery in my circle. Close friends and Immediate family only. People are way too judgemental for me. I remember talking about it with one of my clients and people that over heard the conversation felt like the client could have just went on a diet. Its not that easy.Some of uf dont have that willpower and need an extra too. I ust feel like its my business, and I am gonna do whatever it takes to take care of me. I share with the people that matter the most. My friends and Family have been super supportive.

I was very open about it and sometimes I regret it and other times I think, "what else would I say". If someone, who is over weight, ask you how you did it - what do you say? Diet and exercise? That just doesn't seem fair - after all, we had it done since diet and exercise didn't work for us.......

When someone is overweight, I do feel a little bad. But then again-- ultimately, I have to take care of myself and my own needs. It's not like WLS is a complete unknown to fat people in this day and age-- I managed to figure it out without anyone in my life (that I know of) having done it.

I think it's a personal choice. What works for some won't work for others. As for me, I chose to tell everyone because I didn't want to lie (not necessarily a moral issue, I'm just lousy at it!) and I'm by nature an open person. If people judge me, I shrug them off because I believe those attitudes are born of ignorance or narrow-mindedness, and choose to ignore those opinions. It's been an interesting journey as I find that most people are supportive, interested in the process, or just plain envious that I've had it done! I agree that it's difficult if people scrutinize you if you make a bad food choice, but it also makes you more accountable when you know others are watching your progress. Each person has to decide for themselves if they're comfortable with sharing the information or if they would rather keep it to themselves. I completely understand people who decide not tell others, it's just not what I chose.

My family knows, a couple close friends, and some women in the water aerobics class at the gym. I am more than happy to explain the process to them. They know how hard I worked to lose about 100 pounds presurgery. I had surgery during a period where I worked from home so I did'nt need to explain the liquid diet. I now work at a client site. I don't feel a need to explain my meals. Most people would probably say I was eating a Atkinsesque diet; high protein (usually chicken) but very low fat, and veggies. My doctor says 3 oz of protein and 1 cup veggies. That's not so little food that people look at me funny at the lunch table. I don't really feel a need to tell coworkers about a medical procedure. They do see that I don't snack, only have black coffee (no Dove hot chocolate for me. Crap), and know that I go to the gym everynight.