How did your new mate accept the lap band decision to loose weight.

I do not have a relationship right now. One of my goals is to not let my new weight decide who I date. It is going to be hard for me to stop thinking "is he only with me because I am thin now"? or "would he have dated me when i was large"? This is something I guess I will figure out in time.

Generally, you will have a lot more options when you are at a healthy weight. Ask yourself if you would be more attracted to a fit person or somebody morbidly obese. It is human nature or maybe just nature that we seek out the most fit folks to reproduce with.

For me, I'm a tall dude at 6' 3" so I carry my extra weight better than most. I've noticed in the past that my social world doesn't open up unless I'm below a certain weight. In 2003, I weighed 380 lbs. with my ideal weight being around 220. I went on low carbs for two years and got down to 298. As soon as my weight got below about 300 lbs., I ceased to be invisible to women in bars. It was like a light switch had been turned on. I wasn't a "10" but any stretch but at least some percentage of the opposite sex now deemed me viable. Pretty much everybody treated me better. I hadn't realized how people had been treating me until I dropped the weight. Of course, it didn't stay gone and now I'm back up to 360 or so and my social scene is a solo effort yet again.

You may have to shed far more weight to FEEL deserving of affection from very attractive people than you will to actually get the affection of very attractive people. When I got down to 'only' 80 lbs. overweight, the best looking girl I've ever seen was into me. It became crystal clear only later and at the time it wasn't even a possibility in my mind because of my self image issues (and I was 13 years older and thought she was out of my league). So, do your best to adjust your mental game to your new body image as quickly as possible. I sure wish I had.

Generally, you will have a lot more options when you are at a healthy weight. Ask yourself if you would be more attracted to a fit person or somebody morbidly obese. It is human nature or maybe just nature that we seek out the most fit folks to reproduce with.

For me, I'm a tall dude at 6' 3" so I carry my extra weight better than most. I've noticed in the past that my social world doesn't open up unless I'm below a certain weight. In 2003, I weighed 380 lbs. with my ideal weight being around 220. I went on low carbs for two years and got down to 298. As soon as my weight got below about 300 lbs., I ceased to be invisible to women in bars. It was like a light switch had been turned on. I wasn't a "10" but any stretch but at least some percentage of the opposite sex now deemed me viable. Pretty much everybody treated me better. I hadn't realized how people had been treating me until I dropped the weight. Of course, it didn't stay gone and now I'm back up to 360 or so and my social scene is a solo effort yet again.

You may have to shed far more weight to FEEL deserving of affection from very attractive people than you will to actually get the affection of very attractive people. When I got down to 'only' 80 lbs. overweight, the best looking girl I've ever seen was into me. It became crystal clear only later and at the time it wasn't even a possibility in my mind at the time because of my self image issues (and I was 13 years older and though she was out of my league). So, do your best to adjust your mental game to your new body image as quickly as possible. I sure wish I had.

Thank you for your honesty. You see I was always one of the pretty ones but struggled with my weight to stay at that acceptable weight. I lost the battle recently and I do not like this feeling. I am a self pay and not what most people would deem as requiring wls, but my doctor and I know the truth and this is an option for me so that I do not tilt more toward morbid obesity. I too am tall and carry my weight or should I say I dress to flatter my fat. But I am ready to make the change and go back to that place we both know exist only to the thinner people. Thanks