Should it be considered child abuse if you slap your child or spank your child? Why or why not? Is there varying degrees? For example, is it abuse if you spank with an object (belt, paddle, etc) but not with your hand?

Absolutely not!!

It just shouldn't be done in a fit of anger and the child should know exactly why it is being done.

I think spanking should be the last resort in punishment. When it is done it should be explained why they are getting a spanking and spanked on the butt only with your hand. After spanking love and concern should be shown. Spanking should not be an everyday occurrence reserved for the worst offenses. A spanking should never be hard enough to leave bruises.

Slapping in the face should never happen in my opinion only purpose of it is to break the child's spirit, that should never happen.

Cheri

I don't think spanking is child abuse. I think the child just needs to know what he or she is doing wrong before it even gets to a spanking. I give a verbal reprimand and explain what actions are wrong and why. If the same action is done again, then I will talk to the offender ONE LAST TIME and let them know the next consequence will be a spanking. The third time results in a few pops on the behind (I use my hand). I always hug after and ask "Do you know why you got a spanking?" They always know exactly what they did and why they got a spanking. Parents also have to realize all kids are different. My oldest was stubborn and loved to test me. That caused her to get more spakings than her little sister. A stern look will stop the little one dead in her tracks.

I don't slap eventhough my oldest makes me want to sometimes. I just tell her we will talk later or I may just walk away before I lose my mind. She's 15 and that is the age an alien invade their bodies!!!!

No... spanking is not child abuse and some times a smart mouth deserves a slap! Don't get me wrong, too much abuse to children in this world and I don't like to see a child spanked or slapped, but sometimes it is more affective than a parent proving he can count to three!

I am a past caseworker for Child Protective Services and according to the law it is not abuse to spank your child with your hand or a belt. It may be investigated if the child has marks from the belt if it lasts more than a day or two. It is considered child abuse to slap a child with an open hand on the face or head area depending on the age of the child.

I only ask because I have a student I'm concerned about. The student is telling me their mom and dad slap them for many things, like not making the school spelling bee, or getting below a 95 on a science test. They are then called names (lazy, stupid, worthless, etc). I've spoken to the principal and called DCFS (departmen of child and family services), and they said slapping is not considered child abuse because there is no mark left or physical injury done.

I only ask because I have a student I'm concerned about. The student is telling me their mom and dad slap them for many things, like not making the school spelling bee, or getting below a 95 on a science test. They are then called names (lazy, stupid, worthless, etc). I've spoken to the principal and called DCFS (departmen of child and family services), and they said slapping is not considered child abuse because there is no mark left or physical injury done.

That is mental abuse.

I also disagree with DCFS saying that is not physical abuse. It sounds like this child is being hit for just living and breathing. Sad.

Even though I don't agree with this kind of abuse from parents the law has to be specific with what you can consider abuse with children. Imagine how many children would be in foster care if you consider mental abuse as a reason to take the child from the home? States are already overflowed with foster kids that nobody want in their homes. People are quick to call DCFS and report things that may not even be detrimental to the child but that same person will say "I don't want those bad foster kids in my house". They come up with many excuses to why the can't be foster parents but they want to see DCFS in a certain familys life. I am not talking about the poster that started this thread because from what you posted these people are not right at all but hopefully DCFS will eventully make these people you are talking about at least take a parenting class or something! Bad things happen to kids in foster care! Some worst than what was going on in the home. There are cases out there were the children were removed from the mother because of her living environment not being clean and utilities off and a couple of other things but the kids were split up and put in different homes. One of the little boys was sexually abused at the shelter he was placed at by older boys and then he eventually became an abuser! What's crazy is that the state could have put in services for the family so the kids could have stayed at home. People should really think things out before they call DCFS because sometimes it's not a better solution but worse!

My boss actually told me not to call, but I only called DCFS to ask if slapping/name calling was considered abuse by them. While I agree that the foster system is overloaded, I also know that sometimes a kid needs to get out of a bad situation. I think that hitting a child out of anger (not as discipline) is never ok, in any form. It's not doing anything to help the child, it's just there as a relief valve for the parents.

This world is so cruel to children. Children are a gift from God and their little spirits can be hurt or damaged so easy and sometimes never repaired. Something needs to be done about how children are treated in their homes and in foster care. I think people should be put to death if they sexually abuse children why waste our taypayer money to house them in prison. Children are innocent and should be defended. If my child (grown now) or my grandbabies 4 years and 19 months were ever sexually abused I would shoot the person myself even if it ment I had to spend the rest of my life in prison. I am a Christian and know this sounds harsh but how many poor childern are sexually abused, kidnapped, torture and killed everyday for the pleasure of some sick perverted person. My heart breaks just thinking about it. That will be a question for God when I see Him why? Why did you not stop this. I know people have free will and God allows that but the children do not have a choice in it.

Cheri

Perhaps this can be an opportunity to educate the parents on the fact that positive reinforcement is the most effective parenting tool and that hitting/slapping/spanking children or belittling them are all methods that are counterproductive to their ultimate goals.

I fully disagree that spanking is counter productive. studies have shown that children who are disciplined (not abused, but disciplined) INCLUDING spanking grow up to be very productive people compared to those who lacked discipline and boundaries.

Cheri, one of my own children has been physically abused. As a Christian, though, I cannot agree that the offender should be put to death for it. That's a very broad statement when each situation varies greatly. Is it always the fault of the offender? (meaning did something happen to cause this? Is there an underlying issue that can perhaps be worked on to help the offender?) I absolutely hate that my child was abused, and I pray the offender never does it again and gets the help he needs.

IMHO spanking/slapping is not abuse. Spanking with an object (ie wooden spoon, belt) is not abuse if it does not leave physical damage or marks that do not go away (bruises are longer lasting than just a "mark.") There's a big difference between a swat on the butt with a hand or wooden spoon and a beating. A light smack on the hand, cheek or top of the head, as long as it's not enough to actually physically harm, should also not be considered abuse. If that slap is hard enough to knock them down, or into a wall, or jar their head (and thus brain) of course it's abuse.

There are studies for both sides of the spanking argument. There has never been a study that refutes the fact that positive reinforcement is the most productive parenting technique. Common sense tells me that violence is ALWAYS counterproductive to ULTIMATE goals for child-rearing. I want to raise a non-aggressive, thoughtful, considerate and disciplined child. I can't see how hitting a child will help them to achieve those goals. I work with emotionally disturbed children and have yet to come across one that hasn't been "disciplined" with violence. Why use violence if positive reinforcement is more efficient and loving?

Well, (and just my opinion) spanking is not violent. If it becomes violent I would call is abuse. Basically the difference between spanking and beating. But that's just my opinion.

Positive reinforcement is great, but not always effective. If my son is kicking the cat and I tell him gently to stop, and he continues to kick it so I tell him more sternly to stop because kicking the cat will hurt the cat, and he still continues you bet his butt is getting smacked.

the thing is with slapping and spanking, its often done in a fit of anger. I will admit I have slapped and I've done it thinking superficially that the misdeed justifies the punishment, but if I'm honest, I've done it when I've just flipped it and it makes ME feel better to lash out. That's not right, its not good parenting and its a loss of control, but hey, we're all human and my kids are well adjusted and know that I love them. Its a very rare event.

Planning a spanking, like preparing for it and explaining your'e going to do it and why, that's just weird to me, that's seriously planning to physically cause your child pain, not on. Nor is using implements.

But on the other hand, i think as a society we're way way too easy on our kids. They have everything that opens and shuts, they are definitely not learning a work ethic, they dont know the meaning of saving for things, doing without, making do, economising. I try to enforce these lessons on my kids and I have to listen to constant whining about why dont they have what other kids have when we also earn good incomes. I hope it pays off as adults becuase its painful to live thorugh now. But I see coming through my classroom every year a generation of spoiled, undicisiplined chidlren. Lovely kids, great personalities, loving, kind, all sorts of good things, but spoiled and undiisciplined all the same. And it coincides with our generation getting squeamish about punishments, and phyiscal punishment in particular. There's somethign to be said for instant, painful retribution for doing the wrong thing.

So.... I'm on the fence. I've not felt good about spanking when I've done it becuase I know its been an out of control anger reaction.