for example - I have a great great friend who is a girl. She is obese like me and we love hanging out together because we understand each others struggles. Now that I am going to loose weight she mentioned that she is very jealous and that she wishes her insurance approved her too. I told he that we will go to a seminar together to see if that was a good option for her. So, now that she mentioned that she is jealous I am not talking about the surgery or the weight loss a lot not to irritate or push her away. I want to keep our friendship but I am afraid that my surgery will pull us apart. I am having my surgery in two days and I am so excited - I am telling everyone again and again how happy I am to have it but I cannot bring myself to share my excitement with her not to make her upset.

Help. Trying to keep my friend - has anyone gone through this?

I am still going through the same thing with my best friend. She said all the same things to me and still does now that I have lost almost 50lbs. I also cannot share all my excitement when I lose weight with her because also afraid it will push her away. At this point I have learned that I am not really worried about it anymore and if our friendship dissolves then it really wasn't worth it to begin with. It is to the point that when she asks me what size I am in I find myself saying well I think the tag is a lie or every pair of pants are made differently!!! What kind of crap is that I should be so excited and able to tell her. Is it really worth it?????? HMMMM???

At the same, you have to wonder if your overweight friends are wondering if they are going to lose YOU as a friend as you continue to slim down. Your friend is probably thinking that you are going to a have a new life ahead of you that won't include her. You can't blame her for acting a little "off." Just keep doing the same things you guys have always been doing, minus the eating.

I also have a best friend who is obese like me. When I first told her my plans to get a band she was 100% excited and supportive. She even did the pre-op diet with me for support. Since then I've lost 42lbs and I think she has gained them. I also feel like I can't talk to her about my excitement, happiness or weight loss news. When I try to ask her how her weight loss is going I know she is not being truthful, and it hurts. I want to be here for her like she was for me. Right now she has some medical issues that are stopping her from even considering a band. I know down the road when I'm successful she will consider it then, but with her medical issues it might be contraindicated. She and her husband moved here because of us, the four of us are best friends so cutting her out is not an option I need to fix this, but how?

As obese people, we are carrying way too much burden already. Why add the additional burden of a person who may or may not be counterproductive to our weight loss. If u lose a friend as a result of your journey, I say, "F*CK 'EM!!" If anyone resents me for my accomplishments, I don't want them as a friend, no matter what their hang ups are. When your friend decides they want to change their life and use you as an inspiration, then they can resume their role in your life. Until then, cut out the negative and focus on the positive. You are doing something great for yourself!! Congratulations and good luck!

Yeah it is a hard topic. I actually forgot I made a new thread about it and while I was scanning through thread it caught my attention since I do have that problem every day so I opened it to only realize it was created by me.

I like her a lot, she is also my neighbor and we go places. Lately, though we would see each other maybe once a week when we have seen each other every day before.

Maybe its just because it is so cold outside.

To be honest I haven't told many people. The people I haven't told are the ones who I've dropped the hint to saying, "what do you think of lap-band surgery?" and they'd say something like, "it doesn't work blah blah blah" so I've just sort of hidden that from them. I'll probably tell them when I've lots all of my weight.

The ones I have told are usually supportive, the ones that aren't are no longer my friends because they don't respect my personal decision to become healthy. Anyone who is jealous or hateful of you for wanting to become healthy is not a good friend.

My best friend has just had liposuction and lost 15 kilos or something...I've lost that much in under 2 months by working my ASS OFF and she tries to give me stupid weightloss advice. It pisses me off, so I just ignore it.

All I can say is you WILL NOT lose your friends but you will most likely lose those who are not the friends you thought they were. But that's not such a bad thing. At least for me it wasn't, I've gotten rid of the negitive and surround myself with the positive and it's made this journey much better for me.