So my mom had lapband October 2006. I had lap band November 2009. She has lost like 65lbs total. Well she was down to a size 14, and became severely anemic and was told to either have a blood transfusion or gain weight. So she took all her fill out, gained 20lbs, and hasn't taken it back off. Back when she was a size 14 she was working out pretty much every day and eating a lot better. Well now she's going to see a revision specialist to talk about getting bypass. Even though she wouldn't let me get the bypass or the sleeve, told me she wouldn't support me, nor pay for it. Now she eats candy all day/every day, doesn't work out, nothing. She wouldn't even play wii Fit w/ me. A lady in her office had bypass and has lost like 95lbs, but she also lost some of her hair and has sagging skin.

What can I say to convince my mom this is stupid and she's not giving her lapband a chance? Besides saying exactly that, because I tried that. She smirked and ignored me.

I would be shocked that they would consider bypass on someone who already has nutritional problems. Who will she use as her "emergency contact" at the surgeons office? That person should tell the doctor that she is eating candy all the time and clearly not in the right state of mind in regards to weight managment. With bypass you can't eat sugar is makes you really sick.

It may seem harsh, but it is not up to you to do anything. You can try to tell her how you feel about it, but she is an adult. Even if you are very right with what you think about the situation, she may not take advise from you like she would others. It is sometimes a bad thing to reverse roles mother/child. Of course I don't know the relationship between the two of you. I can only go from my own experience. If you are close and open enough to talk about it that is great, but it really is her own choice.

I don't agree with the above poster about calling her surgeon and telling on her. That is stepping over a line.

I have a really strong relationship with my mother. When she had major surgery she came to my house to recuperate. The reason I said I would contact the doctor is if my mother expected me to take care of her after a major surgery that she should'nt have then yes I would get involved. It sounds to me like the mother has made this choice and plans on doing it whether it's the right choice or not. Something tells me at her doctor's appointments she does'nt say well I have a snicker bar for a snack at 10:30, a Hershey for dessert at lunch, and then a cupcake for a snack at 4:30. If daughter can plan on leaving the house or being out of town for the duration of the surgery and recovery that's fine. But I would'nt be a nurse maid for someone who is making dangerous health decisions.