I've struggled with my weight my whole life. I'm at my heaviest 235lbs my lightest 115lbs. I've been approved for surgery and even have a date less then 30 days away and now I'm thinking of cancelling it. I'm terrified. I'm thinking if I'm really ready to do this I should be excited or happy but I'm not. So I must not be ready yet, right?

Here is a list of the reasons for my fear...

1. I hate the thought of limiting what I'll eat not quantity wise but damn can I have a slice of bread and not worry?

2. I'm losing my best friend. My sidekick, my hiding place when the world gets rough. What am I gonna do when I get overwhelmed or hurt. I can't eat anymore so whats next?

3. Most importantly, is this really going to help me? I'm not overweight because of my portions necessarily. I'm overwight because I've found happiness in food. I mean to be honest I love IT more then I love myself. So will this help? Is there another way I can be "fixed?" If my challange with food is mental why am I doing something physical to accomplish my goal.

I'm so confused. I'm terrified. Any input would help.

Thank you.

I still have my doubts well... I wouldn't even call them doubts. Just fear of the unexpected. I was on yooutube and saw all these anti-band posts from a doctor! Saying that's basically gastric bypasss is really the only way to go. Now I know he's wrong. Just by the responces I've gotten on here. I'm so thankful for your honesty and taking the time to respond to my post. I truly appreciate it. As of right now I will be having my surgery June 7th, 2010. Very excited. Ill keep you all posted.

I think the funniest thing that I have dealt with through all of this is that you actually are full after you are done. I was thinking but I love this food or that food and now I am only going to be able to have a couple bites, how is that going to make me happy? but you know what? It does. Two bites of that food now makes me feel EXACTLY like 20 bites did before. I feel full, I feel satisfied, I feel that "drug induced" high that you get from that food, just now you do it with less bites!!!! It is really crazy the way it works, but it does.

I was always heavy and gained about 10lbs a year. I was nervous about the surgery and felt because I was 26 I should be able to do this myself. I'm glad I did it, I've lost 35lbs altogether and that's preop and postop with out my first fill yet. Just from having the weight off I'm able to do more and have more energy. I can do more at the gym and fit into clothes I couldn't before. I had a lot of the same insecurities as you and I decided I didn't want to choose food over happiness. And so far I'm on cloud 9. It wasn't always easy on my short journey so far but so far it's been a great experience.