My husband and I split 6 weeks ago. I guess it's taken me this long to admit that it's over.

I have been asked if it's to do with the weight loss, but to be honest, the problems were there when I was big, and they didn't go away when I lost the weight (which I was hoping would happen - it's funny how you think losing weight will miraculously 'fix' what's wrong with your life).

So here I am, at 40, single again. I am lucky to have a good job, am in the position to be able to buy over the family home, will have primary custody of my 4yo son, and sole custody of my 16yo son (from my 1st marriage), so it's not all bleak.

I know this is the right thing for us, but being single again is scary, and not having been single for any longer than 3 months since i was 16yo, I feel like a fish out of Water, all of s sudden, not quite sure of what my new life entails.

Anyhow, I would love to chat with others in the same boat, who can help guide me through the 'maze' of this change in my life.

Hi Lellow! I'm kind of going through the same things. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 11 years, since I was 17 years old. Sometimes it feels like we're just growing apart. I think he has depression, but won't seek help. He doesn't bathe, he doesn't want to go out, he hates his job...etc. I try to get him to get help, but he doesn't want to listen. It's starting to wear on me. I had my surgery May 13, 2010. I keep hoping that when I lose the weight, he'll be happier too, but I somehow doubt it. You're right when you say that losing the weight may not fix everything in your life. I keep hoping that things will work with us, but I'm not so sure anymore.

I'm glad you were able to buy your home and have custody of your kids! I know it has to be scary to be out on your own and single again. You just have to ask yourself "We're you happier in the marriage, than being alone?" "Are you missing him cuz you miss him, or because you're lonely?" It may be hard to adjust to for awhile, but you'll find someone who will make you happy! Actually you don't even need a guy to make you happy! Just have fun being single and enjoy your children! Lots of luck to you! :tongue2: