Hey all...

I cannot hold this in any longer. My husband left me 4 weeks ago and I am in my own personal hell. We have been together for 10 years, Married for 6 1/2 and have 2 beautiful girls. Sure we have had our normal couple problems but for him to up and leave me!!! I was completely blind sided. At first he said he would go to counseling but now he won't even go. I just need advice and support. I have been eating everything I can get my hands on this week and I need to get control. I am down 47 lbs and do not want to take a step backwards. I think I deserve an explanation from him and he won't even do that. He just blaims EVERYTHING on me.

Please help!!!

Love Always,

Lisa Marie

Thank you everyone for your support and kind words. I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason. I do not have that reason yet and probably won't for a long time. All I know is I am going to try to be strong and continue on my bandland journey. I go to the dr next week and think I am going to ask for my 1st fill.

Hugs and Kisses,

Lisa Marie

Wow Jack - I just had to post what a wonderful, thoughtful post you placed. I'm still amazed at reading it! Wow! So much there to ponder that is true.

I am sorry to hear that, my paryers go out to you. I met a girl who was married for 10 years. Her husband used to leave her every 3 months. I feel madly in luv with her. weve been togather for 7 years now. What im trying to say is that when a door closes 10 windows open.

hiding behind food is not the answer. if your mad, angry, hurt, try doing what i do. i go for a walk anywhere(mostly in a store, mall,) anywhere people are and i say HI to everyone no matter what. I smile and you would not beleive the effect that has on me.

Some people think im a crazy person but most say hi back and they also smile.

It doesnt fix the problem but it gets rid of the alt. of staying home and getting upset about it.

Hope this helps.

John

I am so sorry. It will get better I promise. I was divorced when my daughter was six and now she is turning 18. I can now say it is the best thing that ever happened to me.He beat my self estem down. Made me feel stupid.Made me feel fat.I am doing so much better than him now. One thing I never did was say anything negative about Mandy's dad in front of her Even though he owes me $40,000 in back child support. I let her see for herself and she did. You need someone that lifts you up. It will just take time.The best thing to do is stay busy,busy,busy. Life will fall into place you will see.Spend time with friends and family.We will be here when you need to talk.

Ladysplenda

Hi, I just wanted you to know I am checking in on you. Start walking, and keep moving (like Jack said). Discover your tools and use them. ((((hug)))) Cindy

I'm with LadySplenda on this one. When my ex walked out 6 years ago, he took a whole lot of bad vibes out of this house that were affecting not only me, but our 2 boys (then 14 & 16). Now he's HER problem and from what I hear, he's not gotten any better with age.

You take care Lisa Marie. We are here for you!

I'm SO sorry you're going through this...it sucks big time! I agree with the others who have suggested a counselor...they got me through some really bad times. If money is a problem, as it usually is in this kind of situation, Lutheran Social Services has a sliding fee scale and even does some free sessions, depending on your income. They are wonderful and were a Godsend to me. Check with your county social services dept., too. There are lots of options. And don't let him have the control over you that stuffing yourself gives him. You've worked too ha rd for this to backslide. Consider yourself hugged!

Emily

Hi Ladies-

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I have been through it myself. I promise it does get better!! Five years after I got out of a horrible, depressing relationship I am married to a wonderful man and have a beautiful 1 year old son.

Allow yourselves to grieve, take care of your children, and don't step off of the path you have been put on with this wonderful band. In fact, be motivated by the fact that the door to a whole new, WONDERFUL LIFE IS ABOUT TO OPEN!!

Much love-

Well...if I could also chime in for the male half of the world...it's true that many men cannot express their feelings and emotions to the point that they feel the situation is easier just to simply leave. I don't know your husband, but I assure you that his heart has ached and longed to make a deision to do this for a long time, and has just not been able to communicate it to you. It doesn't make it any better or easier, but I doubt it was something that he just spontaneously got up one day and decided to do.

The father (and third grade teacher) in me immediately thinks about those kids. They need stability, and counsel...and they need a dad. He may not be ready to step up the the plate (and truly he may not be the father figure for them for long), but they need to have a male role model that compliments you as a model mother. And, if I my may be direct here...you and your kids need a church, the wise counsel of a pastor, a church body to support you, and to know that you are loved by the God of miracles, Jesus. He promises in the Bible that he is faithful, and he loves you, and he will never leave you. Find peace and strength for your family.

My prayers are with you today. I see many, many children in my classrooms that come from broken homes, and my heart is lifted when I see some of those kids immerge from their situations stronger because of the support they found, and the faith they gained as a family.

Grace and peace to you today. -Jon

oh Lisa marie i am so so sorry the hurt is so bad isn't it, mine done the same 5 years ago after 30 years and 6 kid's wouldn't talk to me about it i think bottom line is he became a big name in building in city now has a 36 year old, i wish i could be there to have a cuppa with you if feelings were strong enough i'm there with you now, hope you have a good faith and people you can sit down with and know that what you say will stay with them

lisa marie when you log on let us all know how you are been thinking of you,make sure you talk to someone don't lock it in oxox