I really fell off the wagon, and I am having a hard time getting back on.

It all started when my FIL passed away in a fire a few days before Thanksgiving. I have not gained any weight according to my scale, but my clothes feel tighter, hubby says its probably psychological, still I feel like I am growing out of all my new clothes. I weigh myself several times a day, and I am completely obessed with my weight in away I never have been before. At the same time I can't put down the damn gingerbread, or chocolate.

My FIL's passing has been really hard on us emotionally and finnancially, and the holidays just plain sucked. I have been eating out, over eating, not exercising as much, not drinking enough Water, and I started smoking again. Now I am not anywhere near as bad as I was before the band, but still everytime I slip up I feel like a complete failure, and I am terrified of going back to my old habbits of never cooking dinner, never exercising, and constantly gorging myself on junk food. Thankfully all the Cookies and yummy breads are gone, and I have been making it to Curves at least once a week, but haven't been able to put the smokes down for more than a couple days.:tt1:

I got a fill, but didn't seem to help much. I think I need another one, but I am worried about being too tight. I am 3.75 cc's, and both times that I got to 4 cc's I had to go in for an unfill, because I was too tight. At the same time I am worried I am going to gain my weight back. Right now I can eat a lot though for having a band.

I am very dissapointed in myself right now, and really could use a kick in the ass, or some tips, or encouragment to get back on track. :eek:

Edited January 8, 201016 yr by ~Michelle~

Michelle~ So sorry to hear about your loss.

I am beginning to learn that our emotions play a huge roll in weight loss. Be kind to yourself. You've been through a huge trauma, and need time to heal.

It sounds like you are holding yourself up to high standards you wouldn't hold anyone else to! Just relax, and try to stay away from the scale for a few days. Each day just try to work on one thing. Like drinking your water. Or getting your protein in.

I know exercise sucks, but it can help you feel better emotionally. Maybe try a walk each day. Throw on your Ipod and listen to your favorite music while you walk off some anxiety (and calories!)

Hugs to you!!

You can do it, hang in there!

I'm sorry to hear about the loss and sad holidays. I've had no such trauma in my life, rather the opposite. My wife and I are foster parents and have had a baby for the past 5 months. Yet I find myself exactly where you are. I'm eating too much and the wrong things. Not exercising nearly enough and so not losing. At least I'm not gaining much anymore, after having gained 4 pounds. Last week I just decided I had to get back on track. I began exercising last week and have lost back 3 pounds. So, it takes a lot of determination, but we can do.

Michelle, I understand where you are coming from with the frustration on starting to gain it back after having been doing well and having bought new clothes. My condolences on your FIL, thats awful. Im stress eating and unmotivated again myself. Single mother of a toddler, I was laided off right before the holidays. Technically I am still employeed through the end of this month and am trying to apply for something else with in the company but with all that I have been doing horrible. Which sucks because I got into a great relationship in Feb and since I have slowly been gaining back 30lbs. I went from a 6 (wich I have never been in my life and I was soooooo totally excited to get there) only to balloon back to a tight 12 and 180lbs.

I recently went to my doctor because of band issues and found that I was too tight and it was causing complications so they losened me and its been a BIG battle to trying and not gain let alone lose anything. Im am here if you need someone to talk to about it I know what a HUGE pain in the ass this can be. If you figure out something that helps let me know and ill do the same.

Jess

Michelle - hang in there and it will get better. I should tell you that its all in the perspective of how you are looking at things. I would love to be 180 and a tight size 12 right now but I'm still up in 18s mostly and 230 lbs and hoping to get to where you are by the end of 2010. So, first, be thankful for where you are and don't beat yourself up. You are at the right place to get support. Start logging and tracking your food and exercise. The www.mydailyplate.com website is free and is a great tool.

Best wishes for a new start in 2010.