I am pre lap band surgery. I asked my boyfriend for support when I decided to take this step in my life. He stated he was afraid I would change. That the attention who overwhelm and change me. I believed that my outside did not shape my inside, but your letter sounds exactly like what he said. No one ever talks about the bad changes you could experience and not being ready for the different light in which the world will view you. I hope that things are going well for you now. I hope there is someone in your life who can help keep you grounded and enjoy all the your blessings. I hope, I am able to keep in contact with you. Maybe you helping to keep someone else grounded will help you continue to heal.