ifyourstomachoffendsyou

This is a post from my blog: IF YOUR STOMACH OFFENDS YOU, TIE IT OFF Saturday, June 27, 2009 Guilt, Shame, and Other Ineffective Motivators Let me get this right out in front. Food addiction is not sin. Glorying in it is. Flaunting it is. Refusing to do anything about it is. Using willpower doesn't work for long except in very anal people, which I am not. For most of us, this is the thorn in the flesh that God refuses to remove, despite ernest prayer and pleas. Different methods work for different people, but having people guilt you, shame you, humiliate you, preach at you, quote Bible verses to you, tell you you just need willpower, or to pray harder, doesn't work. In fact, most of these things backfire, cause even more guilt and shame than we already carry, and drive us deeper into the food. Scientists are working on drugs that work on those addiction centers of the brain that control the cravings for over-eating as well as other addictions. This is a brain-based disease and most of us can trace the cravings back to early childhood whether our bodies reflected the disorder or not. Most of us have fought long and hard to contain the cravings. Yet the disease grows along with our hopelessness. We lose weight only to regain it with interest. In addition to the cravings for the substance itself, food is a proven numbing medication for issues like sexual and physical abuse, service to others at the expense of taking care of ourselves, stuffing our feelings and not speaking up for ourselves, depression, and in my case I would add, ADHD. For me, food helps me concentrate and sit still. The restlessness that overwhelms me, the stillness and concentration that society and social convention require from me are brought under control with food--especially chocolate. This is the only addiction that requires you to indulge it 3x a day. We can't live with food and we can't live without it. Don't judge us. Don't give us advice. Pray for us. Love us. Accept us the way we are. This is a disease of silence. but our bodies speak louder than our words. Encourage us to break our silence, to talk about the pain of our condition--which is the human condition, under which all creation groans, waiting for that final redemption I've started copying posts from my blog to the blog provided on this site but I've only done a few. I believe God grants us grace, not guilt. I like to say I've given up guilt for Lent. Guilt is totally unproductive and keeps us mired in the food. God gave us a wonderful gift of jumpstarting our healing from food addiction with the lapband. Celebrate.:eek:

THis is from my blog. IF YOUR STOMACH OFFENDS YOU, TIE IT OFF Saturday, June 27, 2009 Guilt, Shame, and Other Ineffective Motivators Let me get this right out in front. food addiction is not sin. Glorying in it is. Flaunting it is. Refusing to do anything about it is. Using willpower doesn't work for long except in very anal people, which I am not. For most of us, this is the thorn in the flesh that God refuses to remove, despite ernest prayer and pleas. Different methods work for different people, but having people guilt you, shame you, humiliate you, preach at you, quote Bible verses to you, tell you you just need willpower, or to pray harder, doesn't work. In fact, most of these things backfire, cause even more guilt and shame than we already carry, and drive us deeper into the food. Scientists are working on drugs that work on those addiction centers of the brain that control the cravings for over-eating as well as other addictions. This is a brain-based disease and most of us can trace the cravings back to early childhood whether our bodies reflected the disorder or not. Most of us have fought long and hard to contain the cravings. Yet the disease grows along with our hopelessness. We lose weight only to regain it with interest. In addition to the cravings for the substance itself, food is a proven numbing medication for issues like sexual and physical abuse, service to others at the expense of taking care of ourselves, stuffing our feelings and not speaking up for ourselves, depression, and in my case I would add, ADHD. For me, food helps me concentrate and sit still. The restlessness that overwhelms me, the stillness and concentration that society and social convention require from me are brought under control with food--especially chocolate. This is the only addiction that requires you to indulge it 3x a day. We can't live with food and we can't live without it. Don't judge us. Don't give us advice. Pray for us. Love us. Accept us the way we are. This is a disease of silence. but our bodies speak louder than our words. Encourage us to break our silence, to talk about the pain of our condition--which is the human condition, under which all creation groans, waiting for that final redemption. I have some similar posts that may help you to break the bondage of guilt. Especially unearned guilt and shame. God gave us the gift of grace, not of guilt. I like to say I gave up guilt for Lent.

I started a blog to deal with just such issues the day I found out I was approved for surgery and needed to immediately start the pre-surgical diet. I've transferred some of that blog to the blog they give you here. I decided to tell everyone about my surgery through my blog and sent it to my church's prayer chain, to all my choir members, to all my family members, and I regularly post it on Facebook. I'm tired of hiding and secrecy and believe they're part of the disease, even though, in my case, my stomach was sticking out for all the world to see. I can see from the posts here that we all deal with the same doubts and fears. We allow Christianity (or ours and others distorted version of it) to get in the way of the miraculous healing God has for us through lap band surgery. I'll continue transferring posts from one blog to the other, but you may want to check it out directly at: IF YOUR STOMACH OFFENDS YOU, TIE IT OFF

Saturday, June 13, 2009 Doubts and Fears :crying: I was up a good part of last night questioning myself, afraid of going through surgery, afraid of all the food restrictions following surgery and the thought of a restricted diet the rest of my life. I'm afraid of some unidentified heart problem causing blood pressure or heart rate problems during surgery. There were a few questionable things but nothing severe in all the tests I had. Those things will hopefully disappear along with the weight. I've been through many surgeries and never had a problem, but I've never weighed this much before either. My Bible was open to Matthew 6: 25-28, and I read it several times trying to find either reassurance or a definite "No.!" from God. So I'm not supposed to worry about what I will eat or drink or my body and what I will wear. At first I thought, "So if I'm totally trusting God I wouldn't have this food problem or need this surgery?" Which is my old guilt-ridden way of thinking. Then I thought, "I'm not supposed to worry about the food after the surgery, or my body during the surgery. God's going to take care of me." I believe he will honor my decision to do something to jumpstart my body and brain's recovery from food addiction. This morning I sat down with my husband and together we went over the diet in its various stages that I'll have to follow. It's manageable with his help. He asked what he could do if he saw me making a bad choice. I asked him to just come up to me and give me a hug. I think most of the time, that's all I'll need

Friday, June 12, 2009 There but for the grace of God :crying: Today I spent 9 hours having tests and seeing Doctors--well, at least I was in their waiting rooms. I saw the surgeon, the dietician, and the anethesioligist's nurse practitioner with a brief talk with the anesthesiologist. Taking medical histories has become quite time-consuming. Hippa may be partly responsible for that. You have to give the same information over and over again. The low-carb liquid diet I'm on has already made me lose 5 lbs. It's supposed to shrink your liver prior to surgery so that the Dr. can do the surgery with only 1 incision. This incision will then become the port to adjusting the band as the stomach shrinks. The way in which I eat will change drastically. It seems counter-intuitive to all the diet advice out there. Although I'll need to drink plenty of liquids, I'll have to refrain from drinking for 30 minutes prior to eating a meal, take 30 minutes to eat my meal with no liquids, and wait 30 minute to drink again. Liquids make the food drain out of the stomach faster and make you hungry quicker. You also have to avoid high fiber and breads because they expand with liquid and could expand your stomach. Pop bubbles can do the same. You want to keep the new stomach pouch created by the band small so the feeling of fullnes will occur quickly and last. I saw a mother with a 4 yr. old in the Dr.'s waiting room. She appeared to have lost a lot of weight and now had skin sacks that still had fat in them hanging down to her knees and underarm skin hanging half-way down her arms. She'll need surgery to remove all that. This addiction does tremendous damage and I feel so grateful that mine has not brought me to that point and at such a young age. There but for the grace of God go I. As it is I am on 3 blood pressure meds, and 4 cholesterol meds. But there are people much worse than I. If it weren't for my co-morbidities I'm not even heavy enough to qualify for the surgery. If it weren't for the line-up of meds on my counter, the borderline diabetes, and my rapidly deteriorating joints and constant pain exacerbated by the extra weight, I would not be doing this surgery. I would still be trying all the ineffective methods that only ever worked for a while and despairing of ever getting this compulsion under control and out of my head.

Friday, June 12, 2009 There but for the grace of God Today I spent 9 hours having tests and seeing Doctors--well, at least I was in their waiting rooms. I saw the surgeon, the dietician, and the anethesioligist's nurse practitioner with a brief talk with the anesthesiologist. Taking medical histories has become quite time-consuming. Hippa may be partly responsible for that. You have to give the same information over and over again. The low-carb liquid diet I'm on has already made me lose 5 lbs. It's supposed to shrink your liver prior to surgery so that the Dr. can do the surgery with only 1 incision. This incision will then become the port to adjusting the band as the stomach shrinks. The way in which I eat will change drastically. It seems counter-intuitive to all the diet advice out there. Although I'll need to drink plenty of liquids, I'll have to refrain from drinking for 30 minutes prior to eating a meal, take 30 minutes to eat my meal with no liquids, and wait 30 minute to drink again. Liquids make the food drain out of the stomach faster and make you hungry quicker. You also have to avoid high fiber and breads because they expand with liquid and could expand your stomach. Pop bubbles can do the same. You want to keep the new stomach pouch created by the band small so the feeling of fullnes will occur quickly and last. I saw a mother with a 4 yr. old in the Dr.'s waiting room. She appeared to have lost a lot of weight and now had skin sacks that still had fat in them hanging down to her knees and underarm skin hanging half-way down her arms. She'll need surgery to remove all that. This addiction does tremendous damage and I feel so grateful that mine has not brought me to that point and at such a young age. There but for the grace of God go I. As it is I am on 3 blood pressure meds, and 4 cholesterol meds. But there are people much worse than I. If it weren't for my co-morbidities I'm not even heavy enough to qualify for the surgery. If it weren't for the line-up of meds on my counter, the borderline diabetes, and my rapidly deteriorating joints and constant pain exacerbated by the extra weight, I would not be doing this surgery. I would still be trying all the ineffective methods that only ever worked for a while and despairing of ever getting this compulsion under control and out of my head.

Thursday, June 11, 2009 Goodbye to food---at parties:crying: I have at least 5 parties to attend over the next 3 weekends and I'm going to have to attend them without having food as a crutch. I'm going to have to bring food and not eat it. I have to talk to people without relying on food to allay my social anxiety and fear of putting my foot in my mouth in one of my impulsive, ADHD moments. I won't be able to gorge myself on foods I would never have in my home or buy for myself. That's the thing about parties. I love to go to parties because of the food, and I hate to go to parties because of the food. At my church we're into celebrating everything, and everything involves food--delicious food and lots of it. At school people bring special treats for everything. At weekly faculty devotions, the leader is supposed to bring a treat. If my husband and I want to do something special, we go to a cheap restaurant in order to stay within our budget. Family get togethers are dominated by food. I really don't know how to talk to people without food smoothing the way. Alcohol has never appealed much to me--its always been food. The food is killing me. More insidiously than alcohol or nicotine, it is still killing me. But unlike alcohol and nicotin and other addictive substances, I need it to live. How can something that God created so good, become so evil for me? Imagine a world that sin had never entered. Where genetic alterations that make some people prone to addiction had never happened. Where celebration never turns into debauchery--of any kind, either by choice or by uncontrollable compulsions and cravings. That's what paradise would look like, and what it will look like when Christ comes again to establish his new heaven and new earth. Party!

Thursday, June 11, 2009 Goodbye to food---at parties I have at least 5 parties to attend over the next 3 weekends and I'm going to have to attend them without having food as a crutch. I'm going to have to bring food and not eat it. I have to talk to people without relying on food to allay my social anxiety and fear of putting my foot in my mouth in one of my impulsive, ADHD moments. I won't be able to gorge myself on foods I would never have in my home or buy for myself. That's the thing about parties. I love to go to parties because of the food, and I hate to go to parties because of the food. At my church we're into celebrating everything, and everything involves food--delicious food and lots of it. At school people bring special treats for everything. At weekly faculty devotions, the leader is supposed to bring a treat. If my husband and I want to do something special, we go to a cheap restaurant in order to stay within our budget. Family get togethers are dominated by food. I really don't know how to talk to people without food smoothing the way. Alcohol has never appealed much to me--its always been food. The food is killing me. More insidiously than alcohol or nicotine, it is still killing me. But unlike alcohol and nicotin and other addictive substances, I need it to live. How can something that God created so good, become so evil for me? Imagine a world that sin had never entered. Where genetic alterations that make some people prone to addiction had never happened. Where celebration never turns into debauchery--of any kind, either by choice or by uncontrollable compulsions and cravings. That's what paradise would look like, and what it will look like when Christ comes again to establish his new heaven and new earth. Party!

:crying:Wednesday, June 10, 2009 Goodbye, food Last night I said goodbye to food--forever. Well, not quite. But I did have to start on a low-carb, liquid diet in preparation for lap band surgery, which, the Lord willing, will happen next Thursday. Its been a long journey. I began the official process a year ago, when I'd had enough with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, borderline diabetes and constant pain from osteo-arthritis. I jumped through a lot of insurance hoops and tests to get to this point. I prayed for healing from my food cravings and I still do. Everyday is a battle with the desire to eat and eat and eat. Over time, the food has won. And I battle with what I think other people will think. How they, especially Christians, will judge me. I've only told a few people about the surgery. Now I'm letting the world know. I believe its important for my recovery that I not hide this in a corner. Whether anyone reads this or not isn't important. My food cravings won't go away just because I can't eat much. Journaling has always helped me cope during tough times. I'm hoping it will help now, and that maybe it will help others. A verse came to me in church last Sunday that confirmed my decision. Jesus said it in Matthew 5:29. "If your eye offends you, pluck it out." Its better to go without the eye or the hand that causes you to sin, than to keep it and endure hell (my interpretation). Hence the name of my blog: If Your Stomach Offends You, Tie It Off. It's better to go through life without much of a stomach than to live in the despair and physical destruction caused by food addiction.

:crying:Wednesday, June 10, 2009 Goodbye, food Last night I said goodbye to food--forever. Well, not quite. But I did have to start on a low-carb, liquid diet in preparation for lap band surgery, which, the Lord willing, will happen next Thursday. Its been a long journey. I began the official process a year ago, when I'd had enough with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, borderline diabetes and constant pain from osteo-arthritis. I jumped through a lot of insurance hoops and tests to get to this point. I prayed for healing from my food cravings and I still do. Everyday is a battle with the desire to eat and eat and eat. Over time, the food has won. And I battle with what I think other people will think. How they, especially Christians, will judge me. I've only told a few people about the surgery. Now I'm letting the world know. I believe its important for my recovery that I not hide this in a corner. Whether anyone reads this or not isn't important. My food cravings won't go away just because I can't eat much. Journaling has always helped me cope during tough times. I'm hoping it will help now, and that maybe it will help others. A verse came to me in church last Sunday that confirmed my decision. Jesus said it in Matthew 5:29. "If your eye offends you, pluck it out." Its better to go without the eye or the hand that causes you to sin, than to keep it and endure hell (my interpretation). Hence the name of my blog: If Your Stomach Offends You, Tie It Off. It's better to go through life without much of a stomach than to live in the despair and physical destruction caused by food addiction.

I have 4 weeks till my first fill. You are absolutely right about the serenity. I find being around people or meetings that fill me with either shame or anger takes away my serenity and drives me into the food. If Bill Wilson were to attend today's OA meetings he'd either laugh his head off, or metaphorically overturn the tables of the moneychangers. At my Alanon meetings we talked about the steps and the principles of the program and how we were working them. As we recovered we talked less and less about the alcoholic, or we talked about the alcoholic only in terms of how we were working the steps in dealing with him/her. That's how OA needs to be. Maybe we should start our own on-line meeting, GAL-WLS (Get A Life-Weight Loss Surgery). We welcome recovering food nazis. Actually, I probably shouldn't make fun. These people have simply replaced one type of food obsession with another and their rigid adherance to a code is all they've got. They transfer their internal shame and need for control onto others. It's just another insidious form of this disease.

LOL. Great stories. When I first went to OA 15 years ago it wasn't like that but I saw the food nazis taking over and when I went back last year those were the only ones who spoke. No thanks. My church has a program that has so many rules that after one meeting I had an incredible headache--to which I am not prone and I was so angry. Inaddition to all the meal plans they'd added memorizing scripture and sending each other postcards and all I could think was-more guilt-I'll never be able to do this.

I'm not sure what you're asking. Its on blogger.com and I started it as soon as I found out I'd been approved for surgery and had to stop eating and go on a liquid diet immediately.

Thanks Jacquii. It's good to know that I won't have to keep fighting the temptation to do that. But I still want to keep making healthier choices than I used to and that means dealing with the cravings. Does that go away?

Just wanted to clarify. I feel shamed at OA meetings, not because people shame me but because so many promote very rigid systems of controlling the food, which does not seems like freedom from food addiction to me. I am ADHD and totally incapable of being anal about anything, much less food plans and weighing and measuring and panning for carbs like a miner panning for gold. In fact, everytime I try to not be ADHD and to fit what seems to me to be a very anal approach to life, I feel shamed for being made the way I'm made and shamed for not being able to work the program the way some people do. And that makes me just want to eat. I've started a blog to help me deal with the addiction aspect of this disease as well as all the ramifications of life in the lap band lane. It's helping me and it may help you. IF YOUR STOMACH OFFENDS YOU, TIE IT OFF

I'm afraid to go back to OA for the same reason. I started a blog to help me deal and I'm looking for support on this site. I am not interested in food nazi's either, since I am triggered by Protein as much as I am by carbs, but I want to deal with all those things that come up that drive me into the food. IF YOUR STOMACH OFFENDS YOU, TIE IT OFF

OK. So I had the surgery. I have an important tool, but I still have to deal with the food addiction. I'm amazed at how easy it is to add liquid during the meal and get to eat more. I'm also amazed at how easy it is if you take tiny bites and chew things to death how easy it is to keep on eating beyond the 30 minute limit. I'm doing well but I'm just saying. All the old triggers still exist.:tongue2: I started a blog when I found out I was ok'd for surgery and I discuss a lot of the addiction issues that trigger me. It's part of my effort to deal. You may also find it helpful. Cheri Banded: 6/1l8/09:thumbup: IF YOUR STOMACH OFFENDS YOU, TIE IT OFF

Hi, I'm Cheri. I'm interested in what people are doing to deal with the food addiction now that they've gotten a jump start through the band. I'm working very hard not to stretch this new tiny tummy and I'm amazed at the temptation to add liquid during my eating time so I can eat more or to just keep right on eating tiny bits, however slowly, beyond the prescribed half an hour. IF YOUR STOMACH OFFENDS YOU, TIE IT OFF I've started a blog to help me deal with it. Maybe it'll help you, too. IF YOUR STOMACH OFFENDS YOU, TIE IT OFF Band Date: 6/18/2009. :tongue2: