OK. So I had the surgery. I have an important tool, but I still have to deal with the food addiction.

I'm amazed at how easy it is to add liquid during the meal and get to eat more. I'm also amazed at how easy it is if you take tiny bites and chew things to death how easy it is to keep on eating beyond the 30 minute limit. I'm doing well but I'm just saying. All the old triggers still exist.:tongue2:

I started a blog when I found out I was ok'd for surgery and I discuss a lot of the addiction issues that trigger me. It's part of my effort to deal. You may also find it helpful.

Cheri

Banded: 6/1l8/09:thumbup:

IF YOUR STOMACH OFFENDS YOU, TIE IT OFF

I know what you mean. There are times I'm able to gety down mor than I know I should simply because whatever I'm eating tastes so good. Also before I was banded, I often ate a big variety of food at each meal. There were times I'd have 2 different kinds of sandwiches or like pizza and chicken. I just ate a ton of food. I certainly do much better than I used to, but the temptation is still there and I often crave things. Where did you stART your blog?

Cheri, good for you for recognizing so early on the role you have to play in this process.

I can promise you further on down the track you will not be able to do these things. To a large extent, it will take care of itself.

The ONLY reason you can drink while you're eating now and get ot eat more, or why you can eat for longer and get to eat more is that you dont have optimum restriction.

Try the drinking thing a year or two down the track when you've had a few fills and you'll vomit - NOTHING guarantees meeting your dinner again like shoving liquid on top of it, liquid that has nowhere to go. And you wont be able to eat for a solid half hour either. The food will stay in your pouch and not start to empty out like it does now.

the good thing about the band and fills is that its incremental and you get used to your restrictions bit by bit.

the bad thing about the band and fills is that its incremental, lol, and you panic at first that it hasnt worked.

well said Jachut!! And oh so true...

Cheri, good for you for recognizing so early on the role you have to play in this process.

I can promise you further on down the track you will not be able to do these things. To a large extent, it will take care of itself.

The ONLY reason you can drink while you're eating now and get ot eat more, or why you can eat for longer and get to eat more is that you dont have optimum restriction.

Try the drinking thing a year or two down the track when you've had a few fills and you'll vomit - NOTHING guarantees meeting your dinner again like shoving liquid on top of it, liquid that has nowhere to go. And you wont be able to eat for a solid half hour either. The food will stay in your pouch and not start to empty out like it does now.

the good thing about the band and fills is that its incremental and you get used to your restrictions bit by bit.

the bad thing about the band and fills is that its incremental, lol, and you panic at first that it hasnt worked.

Thanks Jacquii. It's good to know that I won't have to keep fighting the temptation to do that. But I still want to keep making healthier choices than I used to and that means dealing with the cravings. Does that go away?

I know what you mean. There are times I'm able to gety down mor than I know I should simply because whatever I'm eating tastes so good. Also before I was banded, I often ate a big variety of food at each meal. There were times I'd have 2 different kinds of sandwiches or like pizza and chicken. I just ate a ton of food. I certainly do much better than I used to, but the temptation is still there and I often crave things. Where did you stART your blog?

I'm not sure what you're asking. Its on blogger.com and I started it as soon as I found out I'd been approved for surgery and had to stop eating and go on a liquid diet immediately.

Guilt--why do so many of us feel such guilt? I've been browsing several of the threads and post--particularly the Christian and 12-step threads and see so many people haunted by guilt and telling about those who guilt them from their churches and OA and FAA groups. Guilt for having the addiction, guilt for not being able to follow all the rigid rules and food plans imposed by the food nazis who dominate many of these groups, guilt over having the surgery. God grants grace not guilt. I'm copying one of my posts from my blog where I talk about guilt to this post. You can check out more of my blog at IF YOUR STOMACH OFFENDS YOU, TIE IT OFF

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Guilt, Shame, and Other Ineffective Motivators

Let me get this right out in front. Food addiction is not sin. Glorying in it is. Flaunting it is. Refusing to do anything about it is.

Using willpower doesn't work for long except in very anal people, which I am not. For most of us, this is the thorn in the flesh that God refuses to remove, despite ernest prayer and pleas. Different methods work for different people, but having people guilt you, shame you, humiliate you, preach at you, quote Bible verses to you, tell you you just need willpower, or to pray harder, doesn't work. In fact, most of these things backfire, cause even more guilt and shame than we already carry, and drive us deeper into the food.

Scientists are working on drugs that work on those addiction centers of the brain that control the cravings for over-eating as well as other addictions. This is a brain-based disease and most of us can trace the cravings back to early childhood whether our bodies reflected the disorder or not.

Most of us have fought long and hard to contain the cravings. Yet the disease grows along with our hopelessness. We lose weight only to regain it with interest.

In addition to the cravings for the substance itself, food is a proven numbing medication for issues like sexual and physical abuse, service to others at the expense of taking care of ourselves, stuffing our feelings and not speaking up for ourselves, depression, and in my case I would add, ADHD.

For me, food helps me concentrate and sit still. The restlessness that overwhelms me, the stillness and concentration that society and social convention require from me are brought under control with food--especially chocolate.

This is the only addiction that requires you to indulge it 3x a day. We can't live with food and we can't live without it.

Don't judge us. Don't give us advice. Pray for us. Love us. Accept us the way we are. This is a disease of silence. but our bodies speak louder than our words. Encourage us to break our silence, to talk about the pain of our condition--which is the human condition, under which all creation groans, waiting for that final redemption