Day 6 - fear and cake
· LittleBird · 07/26/2006 18:10
Having already lost some weight - I think "I can just do this on my own" but then I remember how many times I've been down that road and it all comes back.
I went to AA last night - haven't been in a while. Someone suggested I should tell my sponsor my plans, so I went with that in mind. I was pushed away - for real, not just my perception. I was told "don't let life get in the way of AA". Wow. That was the last place I expected to be judged for not meeting someone elses expectations. It's ok. I'll get my support elsewhere.
On another note - they had cake - very moist yummy cake - I thought "I can't eat that!!", but then I had a celebration of sorts. I decided this may very well be the last cake I ever eat. I took the smallest piece and savored every bite - cream cheese frosting and rasperries with chocolate....I told myself to feel no guilt and just enjoy the flavor knowing it was the last for a very long time. So I did.
I feel strong in my decision (in spite of fear) and every time I think about it - it comes in flashes of excitement and anticipation throughout the day - I get that little jolt of adreneline...you know the one??
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