Mebby

I got groceries yesterday and made butternut squash puree from frozen package. It was very good for lunch but I was super hungry for dinner. I microwaved a potato and pureed it into the squash to try and help fill me up. Now the cheating:
-I ate peanut butter crackers before going to bed - the small 9 pack (crackers are orange)
-This was after having 2 popsicles (1 before/1 after dinner) and I ate (1) ravioli (My kids had ravioli lasagna)
I also increased my fluid intake quite a bit and had to take larger sips last night to get some pills down - one got caught somewhere. I knew what I was doing was wrong but I knew fluids and chewing would dissolve the crackers which it did. Welcome to my relationship with food - eat it/hide that you did/suffer later physically and emotionally. This gets worse around my cycle which I have currently.
I went to bed full and burping a little. I expected to be in pain or throw up but neither and I slept pretty well. This morning I am extremely full, feel bloated and have no desire to eat or drink. Im also a little more winded - happens when I drink too much (fluid issues with heart and lungs). I plan to take things slow today but any advice? I don't want to tell my family - I feel like such a failure. This was day 4 postop.

Thanks. Yes I've tried the Fair Life drinks - love them and then the aftertaste hits. My mother in law says they are good slightly frozen. I may have to try that.
I've been counting Jello and Broth, now strained soup as meals.