kirafiki

Thanks so much for responding, I knew I wasn't alone. I am not at my goal, but really have had to stop losing and just maintain for a while because of this. I don't know how to get around it and just be happy either... I don't know what being happy with it is like! Maybe the video idea is a good one, once I get past the horror of having to look at myself on camera. On top pf all this, one of the people in my family had the 'we are afraid you are becoming anorexic' talk with me. I don't understand why they can't see what contribution they had to me getting so fat, and why even opening their mouths about my size is in any way appropriate. How many times do I have to tell them that my size is not a subject they are allowed to bring up anymore? I knew this would all come, I just hadn't prepared myself well enough for it. Thanks again for the response. Sometimes I feel so alone out here.

Ok, I know that most of us have an issue with body image. But here is my problem, and I am sure it also is not unique to me. Now that I am down 140 pounds, and am wearing a smaller size than I have since before I was in high school, my head still sees a 315-pounder in the mirror. Then I look down at the hanging skin (I have a lot... 20 years of being over 300 pounds plus being 40 and having lost the usual amount of elasticity 40 brings on top of the multiple layers of stretch marks that guarantee the skin will never bounce back) and it looks the same as when it did when I was 315+ pounds. I try to rationalize that if I had the money for all the cosmetic surgery i want, I would see the scale drop another 15 to 20 pounds and would be down another size. But I can't get past the extra skin. It just hangs there. I am afraid that it is making me think I need to go way lower than I should, and then I will still not be happy, since then it will just hang some more. And I am aware that I need some counseling for this, but I don't currently have the money for it. I am also having a hard time adjusting to being 'normally sized'. I am so used to worrying that I am going to break the chair, or that everyone is snickering at how much of me hangs out the sides of seats. I can now walk into most stores and buy things off the rack, but somehow my head can't get it that I am no longer 315 pounds. When I do go into those stores, I have to take a 'thin' friend with me, so that the people in the store with just think I am there with them... I still think they are wondering why I am in their store. Needless to say, I have taken a maintenance break. I think its mainly to hopefully let my head adjust to my new body. I can't bring myself to look at old photos of me, since the current photos I still look at as if I am huge. I fear that by looking at old ones I might freak out. I need some counseling, don't I?

My question about P90X is the diet plan. Does anyone know how it works with the band? I have talked to many people who had great results from it, and I am nearing the end of my weight loss goal, and now want to adjust it to go about 25 pounds lower than that original goal, I was thinking this would be a great way to do it. The last 30 pounds or so is SO hard!!! But I am just not sure how the diet plan with the program will work with the band. Everyone I have talked to that has done it are not people with the band, and they say that the diet plan is very integral with the program, and really is about 70% of the overall program. Thanks for any help that can be offered... and keep up the good work all!

I have lost 141!!! Nearing my original goal, but will be adjusting that, since this is the lowest I have weighed in over 25 years, I had no idea what being here would be like. The downside? The extra skin. I am beginning to think that the extra skin is causing me to want to adjust my ultimate goal too low, but will see when I get there I suppose. CONGRATULATIONS to ALL!!!! Keep up the good work. What a gift of unknown proportions getting the band was. Not just in weight loss, but also the other changes that I have gone through as a result. Simply amazing. The band has saved my life in so many ways.

The pouch test is really helpful... it helped me get back in touch with my band and what full feels like and at the same time got me below 200 after hovering over it for about three months. I am also at 120 pounds lost, still have about 30 until my original goal (which I think will be amended, so I really think I have about 55 to go) and I think the stalling is just a huge adjustment my body is making to the huge weight loss in less than a year. Hang in there and keep working, you have done great so far and all your hard work will pay off!!!

Congratulations to you! I also recently found onederland... and today I declared myself a permanent resident! I haven't been one since the 80's!! And apparently it wasn't permanent then either. Enjoy your success and let it fuel you for many more successes to come!!!

YUP! I wish my stomach would catch up! Lost my rear, a cup size in the girls (I miss my DD's) but that silly stomach seems to just keep hanging on (although it is hanging lower now, so its going a little). Have finally accepted that I have really scary skin after weighing 300+ for most of my life...

I started my program at 315 in July of 2008. Today I can safely say I am permanently under 200! I feel confident that the scale will start with a 1 from now on!! That's 118 pounds lost as of today. And, I am not done. In fact, this last two weeks I have been more motivated than I have been the previous three months. I agree with some others, view this as a tool, and you are the operator. Its all up to how you use the tool. I was reluctant to set a goal at first, and finally settled on 165, but being about 32 pounds away from that I know that I will not be satisfied there. I will celebrate it though, and then push on. Its more about the mental change than anything else, and that takes time. Be patient and kind to yourself in this journey. The changes you make within yourself will ultimately show on the exterior. Love yourself, and love the choice you have made to care for yourself. I love my band, and will NEVER have it loosened or removed. It has saved my life!

The more I analyze my plateau, I am finding its mostly mental for me. I am at 110 lost, have broken two plateaus before, but this one is lasting FOREVER. I am 5 pounds away from getting under 200 and I think that scares me because I have never been this small in my adult life. I still have, what I am guessing to be, 60lbs to go. I think I am supposed to be learning patience and self-love in this plateau. Look into aqua aerobics, VERY low impact, in fact none at all. And it really works. Maybe find a vhs or dvd specifially made for those needing to lose weight with major joint issues... they are out there, I just didn't go looking for one to give you a link. Good luck, I think when we focus so much on the plateau, it stays around much longer. And congrats on your amazing success so far!

So, here I am, 110 lbs down with probably 60 to go. My self esteem is getting better, not great yet though. But since I am feeling so good physically and somewhat better mentally, I think others are detecting this and have started asking me out. Now, I love being single, but its always nice to have someone to play with. I will not go into the mental issues that are cropping up about dating, but here's the one thing that I have found. Men who ask me out are the guys who like their women thick. I don't like me thick, and never will. I say yes to them, not knowing that this is the case (i try not to assume anything about anyone without knowing them). Since I am still a 'big' girl, they seem to want to take me to all you can eat places. Like for example, I said I wanted sushi (I was craving sashimi, and figured one, maybe two orders, I am full, they haven't spent much... perfect) and he takes me to an all you can eat Japanese place. Well, I am not ready to say on a first date "I can't all-you-can-eat anymore" so I get my little plate and put teaspoon sized portions on it and pick at them. They don't have sashimi at all you can eat places. Then we have a discussion about how I don't eat much. Well, jackass, had you listened to me about where I wanted to go... a sushi BAR... you wouldn't have dropped so much cash for me to eat almost nothing. Ok, now going into the mental stuff. Some horrible person told me when I was a fat teen that if boys asked me out, they only wanted something since boys don't like fat girls. That has haunted me since then. Now I find that translating into 'he asked me out because he assumes the fat girl will be so appreciative of having been asked out that she will most certainly put out'. I am trying to work through this on my own, but its hard. Anyone have a similar experience or maybe some words of wisdom? Keep up the good work... its a long road, but oh so worth it! Thanks in advance!

I have lost a 2 month old horse and the amount of additives that the average American consumes in a year... A TWO MONTH OLD HORSE? hilarious!

I am at 110 pounds... I feel so fortunate to have done this well so far. Am at a point where the inevitable inner 'stuff' associated with my lifetime of weight and weight issues has started coming up. Needless to say am on a stubborn plateau, but not gaining, so I am thankful for having learned enough to not be gaining in this mentally challenging period of my journey. Has anyone else gotten to this place and if so, any words of encouragement or advice? Thanks, and congratulations are in order to all!! Way to go everyone!

The hair loss is totally normal, especially given that you have lost so much so quickly. It will come back. I lost about half my hair in the first six months, and its slowly coming back. Everyone is different, and loses at a different pace. I would just listen to your doctor and what he/she says. S/He is the professional.

Maybe its not really nerves but the excitement of taking care of yourself? I was so ready to get the band when I did, I couldn't wait. You are young and I am sure healthy, or you wouldn't have been approved, so the surgery should pose no problems for you. Good luck and live every moment of this life changing time to its fullest.... its all for you now! Take care of yourself!!!!

Hi there! I was banded on July 2, my own personal independence day as I like to call it. I have done really well too, and am also on a really tough plateau. I have lost somewhere between 105 and 110 pounds (the scale keeps going back and forth between those amounts for the last month, and I had an adjustment hoping that would change it, but it hasn't). I just keep on keeping on, exercising and eating right, and just keep telling myself that its going to break at some point. Having lost so much so quickly, our bodies are most likely just trying to adjust to the amazing change we have put it through. Other than being able to commiserate with you about the current situation, I don't know how much help I can be. Just know you are not alone! Keep working, it will pass!

Thanks to you both for posting ideas. Continued success to us all!

I have done really well with my band, I am the first one to acknowledge that. I credit eating well and exercising 5 days a week at high intensity. I seem to plateau every 30 pounds or so. Does anyone else seem to plateau at regular intervals like this? They last so long and are so frustrating. This time around I have changed two of my days to a new and different kind of cardio work... spin class, and I love it... just started this last week though, so haven't really seen any results. I just am feeling sorta frustrated, and don't really have a great support system at home so thought maybe someone here could identify with me? Thanks for reading...

He everyone, thanks for reading my question. I had a fill on March 2nd, and then within days had some crazy sinus infection that became bronchitis, and needless to say have been coughing, really, really hard, ever since. I am finally feeling a lot better, but I do not think I am feeling much restriction. Does coughing screw with your band? I haven't been eating too much, but it seems odd that I don't feel restriction and was just filled three weeks ago, and really haven't lost anything in a while. I am on a really tough plateau, and have changed up my fitness routine to try to trick the body into busting it. I am just worried that the violent coughing may have dislodged my band or something? Am I being paranoid? Any help given would be really appreciated. Thanks again

I am thinking maybe your band is too tight? I have never pb'd, ever. My problem is that at this point I am doing all the work without any real help from the band. I think maybe I am eating too little, and that might be your issue too. Especially if you are not getting any protein. Your metabolism shuts down if it's not getting enough to keep it going. How many calories a day are you taking in? I started to vary my caloric intake every day, some days just 100 to 200 more than usual. It seems to be working a little. I think I have seen the scale move a little, but have learned to pay attention to how the clothes are fitting. Not too long ago, I got some cheap pants to make up for all of the pants could no longer wear. They were slightly tight when I bought them, so I put them into the closet and thought, a month from now they will be fine. Well a month passed, and they are too loose! That is great, but there was no change on the scale in that month. My body must be adjusting. In the meantime I am saving up for another fill... they are $250 a pop, so I will probably get one for me for my birthday next month. Oh, I also have decided that I can only weigh on one day a week, and if I (for some strange reason) forget to, then I can't until the next week. I found myself really obsessing about the scale, and that is not good for anyone. Keep in touch, let me know how you are doing. Do you attend any support groups? I find the ones I go to to be extremely helpful.

Hi there... different times of the day your band is different. In the morning I tend to be tighter than I am in the afternoon and evening. Also, I have concluded that its going to take quite a while for me to figure out how to work the band the best. I usually don't feel like I have any restriction, and then for some strange reason, totally restricted today. I think it might have been stress or anxiety. Be patient. Everyone's new 'tiny tummy' as I like to call it, acts a bit differently. I think in the beginning it takes A LOT of hard work, a diet like no other you have ever been on. Listen to your hunger, figure out what you want to eat, and be sure to measure. Its been about three months, and oddly I crave fresh vegetables. I never thought I would crave that. One thing I do have to fill me up is oatmeal. It sticks with me for hours. Add some sugar free jam or jelly or some sugar free maple syrup. Always eat the protiens first, then the veggies, then if you have room the starch. Some people it takes lots of fills to get to the right place. I have had three, and am planning a fourth, since I don't think i have found the right amount of restriction yet. Bottom line is though, I have decided that this is the part of my life where I am supposed to be learning patience. Good luck, keep working at it, its the best thing we could have ever done for ourselves, we will learn how to use it!!!

I used to hide cake mix in my room and eat it dry. I don't like cake as cake, but could polish off an entire bowl/jar of frosting. I still find myself at the pantry at least 20 times a day looking for something, even though I know there is nothing there for me. I am trying to recognize it when it happens, the next step is trying to figure out why I am doing it at all. I hoped that getting the band would take away the hunger and preoccupation with food so I could deal with the psychological stuff I have about food, and it is slowly working. Thank you brave soul for putting yourself out here like this.

Hi there... I have a port that does funny things. They also say my line is kinked. It makes my fills kinda difficult, but not impossible. The doc says I should get port revision surgery, but I am self pay, and am hoping that we can do the fills for a while since I can't afford the revision surgery for a while. Someone who was banded by my doctor says hers is dislocated, and they just sorta fish around and find it for fills. Hang in there... even a funny, kinked port is better for me than no port at all!

Thanks again for kind words... I use baby plates and haven't had bread since June. I can eat six ounces of tuna and not have a problem. I usually just have spinach with that. As far as fills, I was self pay, and the doctor offered free fills for 90 days. So I have had three. I love the restriction I have right after it. I am now saving up for my fourth, and hope to have it in November. I have recently upped my protien to around 100g a day, since I am also losing my hair at a rapid pace. I think I have lost about a third of it in the last month and a half. I am hoping the higher amount of protien is helpful. Thanks so much for replying, its nice that someone takes the time to do so. Good luck to you too!

Hi, sadly I had the shoulder pains for about 5 weeks, but they did go away and it was so lovely when they did! The lump in your chest is just swelling, and will definitely go away. Sometimes after a fill I have that for a few days too. Hang in there, and welcome to the wonderful world of the best thing ever!!!

Thanks for the kind words... much appreciated. I am not comparing myself to anyone, I think I am being too impatient and hard on myself. Its a common theme in my life, impatience and being critical. The reason I ask about my fill is that it seems that each time I have had one, I feel really great restriction for about three days, and then its back to the larger portions, which, really, aren't all that large, maybe a cup and a half at a time. I think one of the problems is not having a good mental image of what a portion is supposed to look like. No one ever showed me that. Like, is it 8oz in weight or volume? Does it depend on the food item if its weight or volume? I am going to suggest our dietitian go over that in our next support meeting. I have never PB'd or thrown up. Which I think is odd, since everyone I have ever talked to has. That being said, you have done great too! I love my band, and am happy I did it, and you should be proud of the loss you have achieved, as I am sure you are. I started at what I think was a really high weight, which I think also contributed to the initial quick loss of a pretty big amount. Sometimes I need to remind myself just how much I have lost. I think there is a lot going on in my head regarding food, body image, and all that goes with them, and mostly I am trying to work through them... finally. Now I have clearly yammered on and will stop. Thanks again for responding. I am not living in the most supportive situation, and I only have this wonderful site, the once a month support groups and one band-friend I have made and I am so grateful for everyone on this site.