happydance3

Thank you so much everyone for your spot on responses. I KNOW what I have to do and it's me that gets in my own way, no matter how badly I want it. I have to laugh tho, I still have protein shakes, protein powder, ground flax seeds & almond flour, all the things that helped me lose in the first place -- just need to get into the right mindset and just start...geez, i just moved into a place right across the street from a gym!! wow this makes me anxious just reading it....I have done this pre and post surgery. Its insanity to be fearful, I will not starve if I do it again.

Long post alert!! SW 212-225 LW 164 CW 185 5’ 2” I was sleeved 10/2017. I lost weight well and fairly quickly. I wasn’t done yet. Then I didn’t follow the rules. I didn’t sit down to meals, I didn’t take my time, I didn’t chew my food- I started inhaling it again, then the slider foods. I’ve never been a really junk foodie but pastas, bread, chocolate, etc. I stopped drinking all the water. I stopped taking vitamins (Lost tons of good muscle mass). Never exercised. I’m on the fence about the stomach stretching thing. At 3 years I can eat a surprising amount but the restriction is definitely still there. I know it is because I still get nauseous if I eat too much. I still feel extreme pain if I eat too much. So much dumping still (no gall bladder). I am food obsessed. I think about it constantly. I google recipes all day long. I eat until I am hurting & in such pain, it’s scary. I don’t stop when I’m full, I only stop when it hurts too much. And as soon as it doesn’t hurt anymore, I eat again. That’s usually within the same hour. I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt a hunger pang. I’m sober again and using food as a replacement for alcohol. COVID has me depressed and turning to food. Sheltered in place = solitude, boredom and loneliness. Laziness. Don’t give a sh*t...Excuses, Excuses, Excuses. I have tons of unresolved issues (ya think!!!?) and I was on a great path back to good healing and “something” happened almost 2 years ago and I’ve been derailed ever since. And, as ridiculous as this may sound, I have forgotten how to eat per my VSG. Fat & carbs or no fat, no carbs? Seriously I am so lost about what to eat and what not to eat. (I think thats from Keto, Atkins, WW, Paleo overload...WHAT DO I EAT?) Please don’t berate me for failing. Please don’t tell me to get my butt to therapy. I’m in a program and working through things but my eating is out of control right now and it’s starting to frighten me. Please offer some good suggestions, a solid regimen to follow to get me back on track. I need rules again. Thank you so much and Stay Well Everybody