Merlot

So I was 25lbs away from my goal a year ago. Just 25lbs. If I wasn't hit with catastrophe after catastrophe, I'd be at my goal now. But those things happened. And it's going to be very public. It's going to be on Netflix and everyone will see my body. All the puckered and loose skin. All the fat rolls. All my tears and trauma. All the confidence I faked so nobody could break me down. But it was supposed to be okay because the plastic surgery was going to fix it. Make my new life possible. I learned after exposing everything, that no plastic surgery would happen. The cameras caught it all. And I started drinking to cope with the depression. I started eating junk food. I had nobody to turn to. I gained 28lbs. Now, I've started counseling. I'm rebuilding my life. Today, I'm starting this journey again. 53lbs to my goal. Feels like a mountain and I wake up every day feeling like I can not do this. But I have to keep trying. I need encouragement, advice...anything.