Darktowerdream

I had two topics open I wanted to read with similar titles and wrote a message on the wrong one (this one) and don’t see how to delete it. Although I believe I do struggle with body dysmorphia it’s a difficult subject to discuss. My weight has been a battle for all too long starting in school when I was called mildly obese at 135lbs I got bullied quite a bit for being different. (I’m on the Autism spectrum) after high school I had to deal with diagnosis of chronic Illness that started in childhood and subsequent diagnosis of several other medical conditions including metabolic disorders. My weight skyrocketed out of nowhere and doctors didn’t understand or care. After reaching 215lbs I tried hard to fight back and did lose weight but at my thinnest I still saw myself fat. Its a long story I haven’t shared here yet. I think it’s hard to shake the perceptions we have of ourselves. Even if they aren’t accurate. Hardest is seeing my reflection in a mirror and seeing my changed body shape that I don’t recognize and despise. I haven’t allowed pictures of me in a long time.