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@RHCD. I love to cook and bake, too. Are you experimenting in your kitchen laoratory to redo recipes to make them "approved" for your new lifestyle? I have been adding collagen hydrolysate protein to most things, subbing applesauce for all or part of the oil required in recipes, and using less sugar and my own version of Zing - 1 cup sugar + 2T Sweetleaf stevia gives the equivalent of 2 c sweetness. 1/2 t = 8 calories. Also working with cottage cheese in recipes, too, blended smooth. Really adds a lot of protein, about the same as using greek yogurt. It's an adventure!

@CashmereAndBones. I'm 70, and 14-15 weeks post-op. I wasn't ready for this surgery five years ago - felt I would be losing control, would be forced into a cage where I could no longer have what I wanted when I wanted. The thoughts left me angry and rebellious. I wanted to have my coffee, and I love to cook and bake, and I wanted to make the rules for my life. I was in denial Big Time, and unable to see food was in control of me; I was not in control at all !!! At a seminar I learned that obesity is a disease, and that changed my thinking entirely. Being fat was no longer all my fault. If I had some other disease, wouldn't I seek treatment? Well, yes! So why wouldn't I seek help for this disease, too? And all the things I'd have to give up -- well, I learned that would be temporary. Temporary I can live with, I said. So, 100 days post-op I can have coffee, and enjoy it, but don't need to drink it all day long. The first month I had cravings, like pizza. Recently I had pizza and it was a disappointment! My tastes have changed, and that's OK, and I don't miss the things I thought I would. I have fun redoing recipes so they are low cals/carbs and higher protein. I add protein to everything I eat or drink. This new system is working. Amazing! I also know that if you aren't happy with what you're doing you won't continue doing it. That applies to whatever your decision is - to stay with your current situation, or the decision to have surgery and carve out a healthier lifestyle. I have maybe 10-15 years left, but they will be the best years ever. Keep thinking and talking and reading. You will know when you're ready.

no driving restrictions beyond waiting til you are off the narcotic pain meds

I had no help before or after surgery except transportation to and from hospital. Stock up on supplies and meds beforehand while you can still drive. Post-surgery the nix on driving is just because of your pain meds, which you may only need 2-3 days. I did not NEED or want any help. It sounds like the relationship may not have been built on a solid foundation in the first place, so celebrate YOU and your FREEDOM. It's an exciting time in your life, Mousecat88 !!!

You are so correct about that, and each time you say NO to someone it will get easier and easier. You are putting boundaries around you and teaching others how you expect to be treated. You walk, and you journal, girl. If others have a problem with your focus on attending to YOUR needs, then the problem is THEIRS, not yours. You are not responsible for their reaction. Coping with the feelings is another issue, and the strategy will be different for everyone. For me, I journal, look at the charts I keep about my progress so far and congratulate myself. Under extreme stress, I do scream therapy: take a pillow and scream as loud as you can into it. I usually end up laughing at how ridiculous I must look, but it works!

More thoughts: we all are benefiting from marvelous medical progress -- 20 years ago all these surgeries you have had might have taken an even greater toll on your system; are you self-employed, Andy? Your hospital stays must have impacted your job quite a bit. And most importantly, I'm so relieved your double surgery went so well and you seem to be doing just fine. You are due for some better days, friend! Big hugs to you!! We are truly living in a "treat 'em & street 'em" world these days...

Andy, your courage and stamina are beyond comprehension. A lesser person might have just surrendered and given up. I respect your candid and unvarnished story, and feel privileged that you would share it with this group. I hope you stay in the group as we go along, this motley group of strangers-turned-friends by a common cause, finding solice and support and periodic ass-kicking when needed. You are AWESOME. Since you invited Qs, I'm wondering how the foods you can eat will impact the WLS surgery and life going forward.

Gotta print that one and put it on the fridge!

I am so reassured to hear you say that -- I have been stalled 15 days now and going nuts. I wonder what the longest stall is...

@Frustr8 So happy your BIG DAY finally, FINALLY arrived, and hoping you and SueSaBelle are doing well. Check in with us when you're able!

My highest wt was 368, consult wt 350, and 8 weeks post-op have been stalled at 314 for two weeks. Very demoralizing. In some respects I still feel I'm at 368. Stalls create feeling of O boy, here it comes -- another Epic Fail at losing weight, like its something in my DNA I can never overcome. But I don't feel ashamed anymore after learning obesity is a disease -- a chronic disease -- a chronic, deadly disease. And we don't know a singular cause of it. Yet. I am working on this, and realize it is very much a mental game element we must overcome. My best self tells me to look at the NSVs (non-scale victories), to look how far I've come, look for small goals in terms of more exercise, and journal. I do track protein, and get 60-90g per day, but it's not enough to quell cravings and there's not enough variety to provide the satisfactin of a tasty meal. I'll try to make tomorrow a better day. I really need my body to end this stall. I am glad for this site, and glad we can lean on one another and share our journey with others who understand.

Me, too! At 5'2" my HW was 368 in 2017. At Surgery Consult I was 350 and today at 316. I struggle to remember when I last weighed that - many years ago, so it takes on a surreal feeling, one of disbelief and "can't quite get my head around that." 52 pounds is a 40# box of kitty litter and a 12# jug of it. I just lift one of each and marvel what my joints and bones and feet were having to lug around.

I am on Omeprazole (Nexium) for 3 months. Is that what you're referring to?

...PPI ? I don't know what this is.

I just dealt with this with my surgical PA appt; she had WLS 4 years ago so she fully understands the stages and pitfalls and emotions. I said "I never feel full, never feel satisfied, am always hungry and have cravings. Was it a false expectation to think surgery would eliminate cravings? The anxiety from seeking a sense of satisfaction has led me to prematurely eat foods in the next stage. Also, (33 days out) I have had 2 weight stalls, which I expected, but then I gained a pound! I am depressed and feel I am careening toward yet another, AGAIN, dieting Epic Fail, even knowing it is illogical due to the surgery factor. Her replys: 1. Forgeddaboutit - don't look toward food for any sense of satisfaction, ever. Seek other kinds of satisfaction in your life. 2. For most people, cravings disappear after 5-6 weeks. 3. No! You are not failing. Your body needs time to catch up, and it balks like a toddler. 4. Everything you are going through and feeling is all normal. This is HARD WORK and it is more mental than physical. Her words were reassuring, eased much of the anxiety, and the next day I included her in my will (!),I then lost a pound and another pound today. But a discussion with my brother has me confused, so I turn to the rest of you for input. What is your definition of satiety? Do you find any enjoyment from a good meal, either now or before? Do you feel satisfied after a tasty meal where you are not overly full. Do you EXPECT to feel satisfied from a flavorful, healthy meal? Do you now eat only for fuel - eat to live? Isn't it possible to enjoy what you eat any more - to eat for Balance, Moderation, and Variety? Maybe it's just semantics and different interpretations of the words. Why have all these bari-cookbooks if not to enjoy meals? Why not just eat the same things forever and use protein drinks? What are YOUR expectations once you can have regular food again - meats, fruits with skins, celery, etc?

@PENGU1N-- It was hard to argue with the facts presented by a bariatric surgeon at the seminar I attended - "Obesity is a disease -- a chronic disease -- a chronic, deadly disease" -- those stark words really hit me between the eyes. Once that sank in, I was totally on board, and 6 months later, am 4 weeks post op and down #30. It starts with being overweight, then maybe you add high BP to it, then high cholesterol, then joint pain, or maybe Type II diabetes, and sleep apnea, and the list goes on and on. It's no magic bullet, but it's the best treatment medical science has to date. If you had cancer or some other disease, wouldn't your spouse want you to get treatment? The general public is slowly coming to terms with the notion of obesity as a disease rather than a self-imposed character flaw. Cancer is also not caused by a character flaw.

It takes 10 weeks for the stomach to heal. The longer you can stay home to rest and heal the better for your overall health. I am 4 weeks out and now able to avoid a nap, but then I am also 70. :-). Having said all that, go back when your doctor clears you to go back to work. When you DO return, try to go back on a Wednesday or Thursday to make it a short week. Those first couple days will be exhausting. Hopefully you won't have complications that delay your return plans. Just be sensilble about it.

Where did you have your surgery done?

My program said just try to do a little better each day, with protein total and fluid total. The protein drinks count as fluid, too, along with water and anything else you drink. By the end of the 1st month we should be getting 50 g daily protein and 48-64 oz fluids. It just cannot happen all at once. I thought of my new stomach like a newborn infant - whose tummy doesn't work well all the time, and it needs gentle soft things - no extremes in temp, taste, texture, seasonings, etc. As a new mom in the lake 60's, we started adding a bit of rice cereal to formula, then oat, etc -- all mild, bland things, with new things added gradually, and one at a time. I'm told my cravings may, or may not stop. It is what it is, and I just have to deal with it!

That's just one of many reasons this forum is a godsend for all of us. Here you can vent, get support, understanding, and even some tough love now and then. :-) You are not a failure. You recognized before when WLS was not the right thing for you at the time, so you paid attention to your intuition and best self. You've done a lot of work, and now you feel ready. Let NO ONE stand in your way. FORWARD!!

So help me - how do you manage it, and how do you tell the difference?

I assume you trust your new medical team and the hospital, so you are ahead of the rest of us who had to climb on the gurney with blind faith! You will be in good hands before, during, and after. You will be just fine. Keep us posted, OK?

I think everyone gets nervous at the last minute. I think it's the unknown - not knowing how things will go. I got zip sleep the night before, so you are no different that thousands who have gone before you and who will go after you. Try to embrace the journey. Try to relax. It is different for everyone when you wake up. There may or may not be pain. If there is pain, it will not last, and they will give you pain meds to make you comfortable. The future will be a grand adventure and a journey. You'll be just fine. You are part of our team here now! Keep us posted!

Just try to put all that madness behind you and focus on the NOW. It is stressful and nerve-wracking, until you wake up from surgery! just think happy thoughts and trust that all will go well. Enjoy the journey!

I'm in this camp, too. 19 days out and OK for the mushy soups, cottage cheese, applesauce, etc - which is wonderful. But I can't achieve satiety or sense of fullness and satisfaction. Maybe I need to get over that hope/expectation? The cravings have never stopped. I thought the key to staying ahead of cravings would be high protein intake, but so far that isn't the case for me. I've analyzed real hunger vs head hunger but haven't found much difference.