M, Frigs

I was so obsessed with weight loss that it consumed my life till the point of me purging everything I ate, unfortunately in the long run I had to get my bad removed. I am still obsessed with weight gain I was down to 103 pounds and I still thought I was fat. My family and friends kept telling me how sick I looked but I just didn't see it. I am now almost 4 months out without band and been so depressed with weight gain. I'm at 115 to 118 and I feel like a slob. I do everything in my power not to eat anything but the weight is still there. I don't know if I'll ever be happy with myself but I pray to God some day I could look in the mirror and say I love myself no matter what, I have a husband of 26+ Yes and 3boys and I should be happy they love me know matter what. What in the hell is wrong with me. 😥😥😥

Had my band taken out on 1/17/17 it was one of the worst days of my life, it felt like my heart was being ripped out. I depended on my tool for over 3+years and lost 100lbs and the thought of regaining weight was a nightmare. I been trying since to stay on a low carb diet and eating healthy but it's just so hard. I do great all day but night time is the worst. Unfortunately I'm unable to get any other Wls due to the fact that I'm still under weight. But it's difficult living with 2 people in my house who still have Lapland's in. I get very depressed wishing I had that restriction again. Am I the only one feeling this way.

I haven't gained all that much as of yet thank god Im trying so hard to keep up with eating healthy. But I just don't know how long it will last. I will definitely go back to my surgeon and ask him what my choices are. Thank you so much for you help.