So I was scheduled for surgery in January. I had a panic attack in pre op and ended up leaving. I've rescheduled and am set for June 6th. However I am avoiding even thinking about this surgery...every time I do I feel as though I'm going to throw up. I'm terrified of basically everything from dying to complications post op, to having to give up my horrible eating habits.
I know this is what is best for my health. I know it is best for my daughter and parenting. I know I do not want to end up like my parents (health wise). I want to break the cycle.
I'm just scared. For every 10 positive I hear a negative. It's not worth dying for at this point, but I don't want it to get to the point where it actually is worth dying for.
Ugh.
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