CHM

I bought the Withings scale when it was an Amazon deal of the day a few weeks ago and I love it. My husband and I are neck and neck for weight right now, so after we step on it actually asks us who we are so it reports properly (I shift my weight to the left, he shifts his to the right). I LOVE that! But my favorite feature is that it reports directly to the myfitnesspal app. I'm one of those crazy people who steps on the scale every time I'm in the bathroom. Having it report automatically has kept me from doing that, which is wonderful for my sanity.

*bump* My surgery is on Monday and I don't want to have to dig so far to refer to this incredibly helpful post.

Lol. I like that motto. When you live in Smalltown USA what one person knows, eeeeeeverybody knows.

Yeah, I think I'm going to take this on a case by case basis as questions come up. I'm the worst liar - I turn bright red and avert my eyes - couldn't do it well if my life depended on it. It's not that I'm trying to hide the surgery really. I'm not embarrassed or anything (got over that by my first appointment in September). I'm just trying to avoid feeling cornered with negativity, but I have to say as surgery is getting closer I'm feeling much stronger and caring less and less. As of now my husband, father-in-law, mother-in-law, and her husband know, as well as a friend from back home who had WLS last year. As others ask, I'll just determine on a case by case basis whether I straight up tell them I've had surgery or ambiguously tell them I've been working with a weight loss center (also true). As I said, I'm starting to feel much stronger. I told my husband as we were going to bed tonight that I've lost 83 lbs, 12" off my waist, 4 dress sizes, dropped my BMI almost 13 points, and I did that all BEFORE surgery. Anyone who says I'm "cheating" or "taking the easy way out" can kiss my shrinking ass! (I'm so brave when there's no one to actually say that to. Lol )

I'm a few days from surgery still, but I have an NSV to share! We were at lunch with family yesterday and a drop of Soup fell onto my jeans. As I was dabbing at it with my napkin my husband leaned over smiling and said "I think that's why ladies usually keep their napkin in their lap", and it occured to me...OMG I have a lap!!! Its not just tummy mashed up against the edge of the table anymore! I was so proud to be able to place my napkin in my new lap.

I agree with the other posters. My surgeon knows that the desire to have a child is my #1 reason for proceeding with RNY, and she never mentioned anything indicating this would not be the best idea. Its the weight loss itself that increases fertility and reduces the likelihood of complications during pregnancy - I believe that the type of surgery is irrelevant. The only real issue is if you get pregnant too soon after surgery. Your body needs time to recover from the major changes to its gastrointestinal system, and your weight needs to stabalize. Getting pregnant too early will not only sacrifice your weight loss, since you and your medical team will need to do everything in your power to stop it, but you'll definitely struggle to get in enough calories and nutrients, even with supplements.

Hope everything went well. Take good care of yourself!

You're very welcome. My surgery date is January 25th. 1 week!

Finally, someone else from my state! Hi there! I have BCBSND as well, and I was told that they take 10-14 days to come back with a decision. The wait was definitely difficult - obsessively checking the mailbox and jumping every time the phone rang. Mine was submitted on Dec 21, and I received my approval letter in the mail on Jan 11, but it was dated Jan 7 (I never called to see if it was actually approved before this). Mine took an extra few days due to the holidays I'm sure. I called by surgeon's office minutes after having the letter in hand and they gave me a choice surgery dates. Of course I chose the soonest! Best of luck to you. The wait will be sooooo worth it when that letter arrives!

Hey, I'm having surgery on the 25th too! You're the first I've found that shares my date. As for the pre-op diet, the first days of any new restrictive diet are going to be difficult - your body and mind just cry for what they're used to. You just have to push through - it should get easier as the days go by.

I hope everything goes smoothly for you. I'm six days behind you!

My BMI when starting was 55.6, but it didn't expedite anything, even with accompanying high blood pressure, fatty liver, and history of complex endometrial hyperplasia. It's awesome that your insurance does that. Mine still required the 3 month supervised diet. My first appointment was Sept 22, 3 month follow up where we submitted to insurance on Dec 21, now surgery on Jan 25 - so 4 months total in my case.

I just wanted to let you guys know that I did tell my mother-in-law, and as I mostly expected she was very supportive. She promised to keep it to herself until I'm ready to share further. No interrogation, not even a question. She said that she knows I'm a smart woman and have surely done my research, and if this is what I feel is best for me then she's confident I'm making the right choice. As for my concerns about others, she said that when it comes out later if anyone has anything to say about it she'll tell them herself that its already done and its not their business. "Its not like anyone else runs their decisions on how to handle their medical issues by YOU, so why should you have to explain yourself to them?" I love that woman. <3

YAY!! Congrats!

Congrats to both of you! Glad you're doing well.

Hope everything goes smoothly!

I got my approval letter from insurance today. Called the surgeon's office immediately and was offered the choice of Jan 25th or Feb 24th. January 25th it is! Luckily no pre-op diet - just liquids the day before.

Thanks! I don't know how I'm going to sleep tonight...

I've always had headaches from caffeine, so my issue was with caffeine-free diet Coke (or "no fun" Coke, as one of my friends likes to call it). When told I'd need to eliminate carbonated beverages before surgery, I first tried to wean off of it by making a rule that I had to drink an equal amount of water (12 oz, for a can) before I could have the soda. This cut my intake in half, then after a week or 2 I upped the rule to double the water (24 oz) before I could have a can of soda. It was at this point that I learned that my addiction was not to the sweetness or the soda itself, but to the carbonation. So I switched to Pellegrino and unsweetened flavored seltzer waters and gave myself a week to adjust to that without soda. Then I started pouring the bottles/cans into a glass 30 mins before consuming to let them deflate a bit. Then an hour, then 2 hours, and gradually the carbonation addiction tapered off. Now I'm happy as a clam with NUUN tablets in my water bottle...after 30 mins to let the effervescence wear off of course.

Lol. Yes it is! Hubby just got home and I was jumping up and down as I was telling him everything, As soon as he heard the two dates he interrupted me and said "Take the earlier one. Look at you, you're ready, and you're going to go insane waiting a month longer than you have to!" He pointed out that it isn't my plan to hide my surgery forever, so the family will find out at some point. He suggested we just tell his mom for now, ask her not to say anything, and if it leaks out, it leaks out. He's right. As usual (its kind of annoying really). So tomorrow I will call the office and tell them I'd like the January 25th date!

Just wanted to update that I got my approval today! I was given the choice between a Jan 25th or a Feb 24th surgery date. I'll be considering it tonight and let them tomorrow. So EXCITED!!!

I seem to do a lot of long posts. Sorry guys.

I settle one thing and another dilemma ensues! Lol I just retrieved my mail and found an approval letter from my insurance company! A happy dance ensued, followed immediately by a call to my surgeon's office to inquire about a surgery date. The earliest they can get me in is January 25th, and the next earliest is February 24th (the PA who does pre-op is on vacation the last week of Jan and first week of Feb, and my surgeon is on vacation the 2 weeks after that). I was super excited to hear about such an early opening (only 2 weeks!), as I am beyond ready for this. The con is that taking the January date would end the debate as to whether to share the surgery with family. We built a new home recently and are currently staying with my husband's parents while waiting for contractors to make it liveable, and barring a miracle of miracles we won't be in our own home by the 25th. This means I would need to flat out lie about what surgery I had if I want to keep it to myself, since there will be no way to hide the 2 day hospital stay and recovery from my in-laws. On the plus side, the surgery would be done, and I wouldn't be torn over hiding something from the family that I love. Plus I'd have my mother-in-law, who is an amazingly loving and supportive person - I would have told her long ago if I could trust her to keep it to herself (she can be quite the gossip). The late February date is when I was expecting surgery in the first place. The pros here are that we'd have time to pay the deductible without having to partially use a credit card (not that we can't just pay the card off a month later with the January date), I'd be able to help the hubby lay the flooring in the new house (though one of his friends or cousins can fill in for me if needed), and, of course, as we should be in our house by then, I could still keep the surgery to myself (assuming there are no more delays - we WERE supposed to be in by Christmas, so no guarantees). The cons here are that surgery will be a month later than it has to be (though I go back and forth on whether or not that matters), and I'll still feel funny about keeping the whole thing from the family. My husband will be home late tonight, so I'll discuss it with him then, but in the meantime I'm burning with excitement! Which date would you take?

Thank you for the replies everyone. I'm fortunate that I don't have to deal with coworkers right now. I won't be working until spring, and then when I do start a job no one will have known my habits before to notice the difference. What they see will just be how I am in their eyes. I also don't have to deal with my own family - they live 2400 miles away. My mother knows I've been dieting since September, so by the time I see them this October it will have been long enough that my weight loss will be passable. Eating so little will be easy to pass off on that trip as well - I often get motion sickness, and its not uncommon for me to not feel well for a few days after such a long drive, so they're already used to that. So no worries in either of those departments. Its just the hubby's family I have to deal with. Its funny, just last night I was thinking of something along mykdzmom's line. I was thinking I should start trying to eat my meals before our get togethers so that they get used to seeing me not eat. When they ask I'll just explain that I ate already and am full, and that way (hopefully) by the time I'm post-surgery and would have to lie about it, it will be old hat and no one will be asking anymore. Then I just have to deal with our occasional family restaurant outings, but I'm sure I can get through those - they're typically more focused on the conversation at restaurants and less likely to notice idiosyncrasies. As for the weight loss, unfortunately I have been sharing numbers. When I hit the 25lb mark in October I was so proud and told everyone. Now several people ask every time they see me. At 50lbs loss it started to feel awkward, and now at almost 80 lbs I'm flat out uncomfortable. I've decided that from now on when asked by anyone aside from other bariatric patients, I'm just going to say "I don't think I'm going to share that anymore. Its making me too focused on what I'm losing and not as focused as I need to be on HOW I'm losing it." This is entirely true anyway. I was getting overly occupied with maintaining a steady decline (until I hit my first stall over Christmas and decided to just let it go), because I knew someone was going to ask eventually, and if the number wasn't smaller it would be met with a disappointed "Oh..." and I would feel like crap. I don't want to feel like crap. I want to be proud of what I've achieved so far and not have to worry about outdoing myself. Anyway, I'm sure that by not sharing my weight anymore the loss won't be as obvious, since everyone sees me weekly anyway. Its not like we only get together on birthdays and holidays where there can be months in between making weight loss very noticeable. Down the road as I feel more comfortable and strong in my ability to educate on gastric bypass (so I can effectively field questions and correct misinformation), its entirely likely that I'll end up sharing. But until then, I think I'm happy with this plan. Thanks for helping me work it out guys! <3

I'm currently awaiting insurance approval for what should be a February surgery, and no one but my husband knows. At first I figured I'd share with friends and family as the surgery got closer, but as time passes I'm just not sure that I want to. I may still change my mind, but if I don't, I'd like to know how others who've chosen to keep their surgery to themselves have managed to explain the weight loss and minimal appetite. My husband has a big family that typically has large, food-centric gatherings weekly, and they're not shy about asking questions or pointing things out. Now I did have to do a 3 month weight loss plan for insurance, so they know I've been 'dieting', and are used to seeing me forgo the fried chicken in favor of a pile of green Beans and leftover turkey breast. Although I've lost a lot of weight so far, I was big enough when starting that its not really noticeable to those who aren't looking for it - no one who didn't already know about my diet has commented on my loss. I imagine that will change after surgery when weight will come off even faster. In addition, I know I will only be able to eat tiny amounts of food for a while, and that will definitely be noticed. I am the polite, shy, pushover type, so telling people to mind their own business or putting them in their place would not exactly come natural to me. Any suggestions?