CHM

@@anonmom The most notable issue, as anyone familiar with BPD may have guessed, is the return of eating disorder behaviours. Nothing meets diagnostic criteria or anything at this time, but since around 5 months post-op I have had significant struggles with my caloric intake. At 5 months I was at a range of 800-1000 cals/day, but since then it has slipped bit by bit. Last month I admitted to myself that it was definitely an issue again when I realized that my anxiety level was directly related to the number of calories I was consuming. I was only comfortable under 300 cals. 300-399 made me nervous. If I broke 400 calories my anxiety shot through the roof. I was making decisions on what/if I ate based not on whether I was hungry or if I'd hit my Protein goal for the day, but on whether it would push me over 400 calories. I also may or may not have forcefully vomited a time or two (or three or four...). The last time I had these issues, the only way I was able to shut down the behaviours was by leaping in the opposite direction - ignoring calories and simply eating what I felt like when I felt like it. Therefore I am not currently tracking my food. This has indeed provided a temporary solution in that I once again eat when I'm hungry and am surely getting in enough calories. However this has made me less diligent in where those calories are coming from, and carbs in particular have crept back in a little more than I should have allowed. I have now regained a few pounds (5, to be exact) over the last month since I've quit tracking. This is how I got fat the first time. I'm giving myself one more week to get my sh*t together, then I'm back to tracking, and whatever will be will be. While neither is ideal, I'd rather deal with eating disorders than undo everything I've just done. The fact is, anorexia is easier to treat. I've already had bypass - I have no further surgical solutions for obesity. Eating disorders aside, my emotions are also pretty out of control again. Weight loss has awoken me in many ways, and after decades of being locked tightly away, feelings are once again free and loose - and very, VERY intense. I don't become sad, I become devastated. I don't get hurt, I get destroyed. I don't feel pressure, I feel completely overwhelmed. I don't simply get happy, I get ecstatic. Everything is felt very deeply, and even the good feelings are piercing to the point of pain. Almost makes me miss the days of just going through the motions with a completely disconnected plastic smile. Almost.

I agree that this is odd. I'm glad you were able to find another surgeon who is more reasonable. I was very open at my psych eval, revealing both borderline personality disorder - complete with its accompanying history of cutting, eating disorders, and suicide attempts - as well as my psychiatrist's suspicion of bipolar II. They didn't much seem to care. All they were interested in was: 1. How long ago my last major episode of anything (other than depression/anxiety) was. I was just past the 5 year marker that they were looking for. Had things been even 2 months more recent, I'd have been put under a magnifying glass. 2. That I was receiving regular treatment via counselling and/or meds. I was not not on meds at the time (having been pulled off of the anti-anxiety/anti-psychotic/mood stabilizer cocktail when I was trying to get pregnant the year before), but I'd been seeing a psychologist weekly and a psychiatrist monthly. 3. That I, by all accounts, appeared to be honest with both them and myself, reasonable in my expectations of surgery (as in not expecting it to turn me into an instant swimsuit model and make my life perfect while I stuffed myself with McDonald's every day), and both aware of and accountable for any weaknesses or shortcomings that may interfere with my efforts. Having said all of that, I must admit that I have seen a resurgence of some distinctly BPD issues since surgery. I'm in my mid-30s, so well passed the timeframe you'd expect to find such struggles. Granted I've seen a lot of change in my life fairly recently, but it's been good change - nothing you'd expect would trigger anything (okay okay...the skin hate is real, and it's deep). I am by no means saying that everyone who has had issues in the past will see them return post-surgery. I'm just saying they could. Our medical teams watch for these things and flag our files for a reason. Just be aware. Be honest. And be forgiving of this novelette I seem to have written for you. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Try finding 14W.........shyt ain't happening. Thankfully there is FedEx. I feel ya. Try finding a women's 10.5W. They virtually don't exist, even online. The extraordinarily rare time they do, it's never in a style I'd be caught dead in. I need my stilettos, dammit! Why are my feet not becoming more narrow like everything else??

No I don't. I'm not going anywhere anyway. I also like the far right. If you do decide to go with the pants though, I think the red boots look better than the blue ones.

Pfft... You say that to ALL the girls.

@ If I have nightmares because of these pictures you're posting, you're going to be in troooooublllllle...

I haven't really done the Halloween thing since I was an early 20-something party girl. As of late, it's just an excuse to don the red lipstick or some intense eye makeup. My a$$ still needs to get much smaller before I consider attempting to rock a tiny anything though.

Okay, I wasn't expecting that! That was a good laugh... Amusing as it is, should you decide you'd rather change it, click on your name beside your profile pic in the upper right corner, select 'Before & After Pic', and then chose another photo to upload.

I believe that this policy is set by the medical center where your surgery will be performed, rather than by the insurance company. Because they consider bariatric surgery 'elective', mine required that the deductible and co-pay be paid in full in advance. I'm sure this policy varies from hospital to hospital though. Your surgeon's office should be able to confirm when your share of the payment will be due.

My best piece of advice is to make as many changes as you can as soon as you can, and work to get new habits and thought processes into place right away. Do NOT wait until your surgery to be 'reborn'. As I've seen stated over and over in these forums, it's stomach surgery, not brain surgery. Changing your brain takes time, and the time to do it is NOT immediately post-op when you're fragile and healing. If head hunger and long formed habits are going to lead you to make poor choices (as they very often do...it happens), you want to learn to navigate them pre-op when you can afford to make mistakes, not post-op when you can really do some damage.

I am on board with ALL of these gripes! First off, the shaving sucks. Yes, the underarms are the worst, but the legs suck too. How the hell do skinny people shave without catching the blade on bones all the time? Seriously, HOW??? Maybe one day I'll be able to afford the laser awesomeness that @@OzRoo was talking about. Until then, I have very dark hair on very fair skin. No matter how little hair I have or how slow my growth, visibility is high, so it needs to be shaved every single day. Which means I get sliced every single day. The cold set in surprisingly early for me. Months before surgery after only a 40 lb loss, I had to stock up on heavy sweaters and thick socks. I'd never had need for either ever before! I was always the fat sweaty lady pulling a hand fan from her purse and blotting excess moisture from her brow in the middle of a North Dakota winter while everyone else threw on another layer. I now have an affinity for all things cozy and fluffy. Things that previously would have made me sweat just to look at, which I now surround myself with in an attempt to keep the chill away. But I will take the cold over the sweat every. Single. Time. And finally, the bones! Fortunately I've learned how to sit to avoid the aching butt bones, so as long as I'm not seated in one position for too long I'm good there. I'm used to banging into things with my hips (hey, I'm a klutz), but now instead of cushy flesh I'm hitting actual bone, which is far less pleasant. And the one that's been surprising me lately is the shoulder blade. It is no longer comfortable to lean back against a wall or hard chair without adopting a very poor hunched over posture, because there's just too much pressure on my shoulder blades. I need to learn how to live with bones! Lol

It could definitely be a factor, as it's not uncommon. I typically stall for a week or two before, then start losing again a few days after it starts. Just keep doing what you're doing and you'll be moving along again in no time.

I don't know that this sounds like dumping. I suppose it could be a mild version of it, but in my opinion, I don't see how coffee and an egg would cause it, or why you would suddenly start having issues 9 months out without a clearly identifiable 'mess-up'. I've dumped several times to varying degrees. The most notable symptoms at the onset for me are weakness, shakiness, and clamminess. My heart will begin to race. When these start I know I have but a minute to get myself somewhere safe if I'm not already. Then I'll either vomit or use the toilet, and by the time that's done I'm usually too weak to stand or walk properly. I'll carefully inch my way towards a bed/sofa/open spot on the floor and sleep it off for a couple of hours. I've never really had any significant pain or cramping from dumping - just a general sick and very, very weak feeling. Again, this is how I experience it. Naturally, like most things in the bariatric world, it can vary greatly from person to person.

Now excuse me while I go back to bed...

Aww. And I love your love of me! Well now I don't feel special anymore... Oh wait, that's right. I'm too logical and sh*t to have feelings...