Cervidae

@@trekker954 therapists are just people. Some of them are going to be better than others at what they do, just like some people are better at being diplomatic than others. I've been in therapy since I was 10 and I've known more mediocre ones than good ones, but once I found the right therapists for me, they made an enormous difference. There's also a definite length of time you need to go to one before you even know if it would help or if the therapist and you connect with each other. You may have even passed up a great therapist by giving up way too early. It's a process; they can't just bandage our emotional wounds and send us on our way with a pain killer, thus fixing our problems. You have to work with them over a period of time to first identify what the issues are then figure out how to solve them or, in many cases, how to cope with them. They are trained to help you help yourself, rather than telling you how to magically fix a problem. The best therapy I've had was more like talking to a friend that will never judge me and figuring out my own problems through introspection and hard work, and my friend was there to guide me and encourage me and give me unbiased, objective opinions and advice. It can be great if you really try and give it some time! It's saved my life more than once and helped me lose 250 pounds and take control of my life and health, all things I never really believed I could do.

I was a carb fiend! I basically only ate ramen noodles, white pasta, white bread for a period of several years, during which I ballooned to over 400 pounds. I was really messed up at the time, and carbs made me feel the most full. I never really binged, though I certainly ate more than I should have. Mainly I was just always eating. I was NEVER ever satiated, never felt secure because I was never full and the only security I knew at the time was "okay, my stomach is full. I'm okay." Then the carby sludge would pass through my stomach and I would be starving again, and the cycle would continue. Scary stuff.

That rule (100 pounds for first 5 feet, 5 more pounds per inch) is an okay general rule, I suppose, but I know I certainly would look completely malnourished and sickly at 125 pounds. I just saw a plastic surgeon a couple weeks ago and he said he wouldn't recommend going lower than 150, and that's after skin removal, based on my frame and current size. We all have to keep in mind that carrying around extra weight for so long increases the density of your bones, which adds unseen weight. Also, most of us exercise fairly frequently so keep your muscle mass in mind as well. I would say if you're unsure about what weight you should be at, get your body fat percentage tested as well as perhaps a Water displacement test, and go from there. That's far more accurate and tailored to your personal body, and will therefor make a whole lot more sense than just choosing a number and trying to get there. You may find that the little extra around your tummy is just skin, and continuing downward when you're already healthy would not only be pointless but also possibly not good for you. Personally, I think you look amazing. You're super pretty! Congratulations on your success.

It's different for everyone, unfortunately, like so much of this process. Generally speaking, if you've increased your exercise then you may need to increase your calories, still focusing on Protein. Every plan is different when it comes to carbs. Mine says to eat a complex carb with every small meal at maintenance, but if I go above like 30 grams a day, I stall or even gain a little, so their plan is just not realistic for me, at least not now. I would suggest talking to your nut first, as per usual, but then also keep in mind that everyone's body is different. The nut's suggestions can be a springboard for you to experiment a little and find out what works for you. Still, I would definitely stay away from refined carbs forever. A treat every once in a blue moon is one thing, but refined carbs are a slippery slope of insulin spikes, increased food cravings, and regain. You'll want to stick to the good stuff: quinoa, legumes, nuts, occasional whole grain bread, etc.

@laceemouse http://mrjakeparker.com/inktober there ya go!

I am! I haven't decided exactly what yet, but I'm leaning towards a cute/sexy deer costume.

Like many others here, I'm greatly enjoying being able to comfortably cross my legs, sit with my legs bent underneath me without them falling asleep/hurting, etc. Also, with all the new space and flexibility comes new positions in the bedroom (you know we're all thinking/wondering about it! ) so that's been a blast! Sitting in booths at restaurants. Never having to worry if the seatbelt won't fit whenever I ride in a different car. I can go up four flights of stairs without feeling like I'm dying afterwards. Fitting into all the rides at an amusement park (did that for the first time in over a decade last month... it was incredible). Being able to wrap average-sized towels completely around myself. Knowing I could walk into most stores and find something that fits me. The list goes on and on and on...

Us artists have our own version of this! We call it Inktober; each day of October we produce an inked drawing. Some people use prompts, some people use the official prompts, written by the artist who started Inktober, and some like me will do my own thing.

The surgery can resolve things like type 2 diabetes because type 2 diabetes can be controlled and subdued by an extreme diet change alone. It's just so, so much harder to eat that kind of strict diet without surgery. PCOS is a whole other beast, unfortunately. It's a hormone disorder first and foremost. So if you DO have PCOS, at the core of your issues would be a hormone imbalance. But in the end, if you had "string of pearls" follicles on your ovaries during an ultrasound (also called cysts), you've got PCOS. :/ The birth control is really important because it helps keep the lining of your uterus thinner, which in turn helps prevent cervical cancer, infertility, and a whole host of other scary problems. It also shrinks the cysts on the ovaries, which is important for obvious reasons. If you need peace of mind, or another opinion than your gyno's, feel free to see an endocrinologist. But if you've got the cysts... you've got the disorder. And it's for life. The good news is, losing weight/staying active and eating low carb is EXACTLY the way to best treat the core of PCOS. So with birth control and a strict diet/ your major weight loss, you should barely even be aware of your PCOS, especially since you say you have no other symptoms. You're one of the lucky ones! Congrats on your loss, by the way. You're doing great!

I'm over 13 months post-RNY. I'm down almost 200 from surgery and over 250 overall from my highest. I'm perfectly healthy, and happily living my life in a way I thought was never going to be possible. I would do it all again a million times over! Please let me know if there is anything I can help you with. This place is a wonderful resource for everyone at every stage of the process. Best of luck!

It depends, how far out are you?

A severe texture aversion to most fruits and veggies played an active role in my inability to lose weight and my constant weight gain while growing up. I always tried to explain to the doctors/nuts/etc, even when I was just a child, that I WANTED to eat these foods and I TRIED to eat them, but the moment I put them in my mouth, my gag reflex kicks in immediately and I literally get sick trying to force these things down my throat. I would still try, and still get sick, all the time, and no one I ever talked to ever believed me. I was just a fat kid that "didn't want to" eat healthy foods. Never mind that my texture problems extend to plenty of unhealthy foods, like popcorn, twizzlers, gummy anything, etc.

The odds of losing weight and keeping it off as a morbidly obese person vs an obese person are even lower, by the way. Scarily low. Some doctors say that it's verging on impossible to lose and maintain significant weight loss once you surpass a certain BMI. The odds of losing significant weight and keeping it off after surgery are WAYYYY higher. Not to mention, if you gain your weight back after surgery, you still have all the tools you had before you started gaining it back: your surgically altered stomach, the new habits and tastes you've acquired, and the knowledge your obtained about eating healthfully during the surgery and weightloss phase. The same is not true for people who lose and gain without surgery. If you feel that you could do this on your own, more power to you! I mean that without sarcasm. Go ahead and try to do it again on your own. But do you really see a significant, sustained loss if you go that way? Ask yourself honestly, and answer yourself honestly. Until you know this is what you want to do and you're really ready and committed to it, you're better off trying on your own anyway. This surgery, the requirements leading up to it, and the huge lifestyle and habit changes that come after it are for life and they are enormous, and no one who is not completely sure they want it and completely committed should take it on. You'll know when you're ready. Maybe you already know and you're just afraid, as we all were. Only you can know. I wish you nothing but health and happiness.

Not getting in your water/protein is only going to make your physical and emotional difficulties worse, believe me. You must find a way to force it in. Right now, water and protein aren't food, they are medicine; life-saving medicine that you need to heal and become healthy. It gets better! Try to remember why you did this in the first place, and try to imagine where you'll be a year from now: fully healed, healthy, maybe even at goal weight or close! To get there, you're going to have to trudge through this pit of pain and struggle, but I promise you: it DOES get better. Just keep reminding yourself of that, because it is absolutely true, and stick to the plan as best as you can. Hang in there. <3

Worrying is normal, especially during this time right before surgery. But ask yourself these things: why did you go through all of this in the first place? What are the reasons you even began this journey? Do these reasons still exist? Is it worth dealing with possible complications/difficulties for the chance to lose weight and be healthy/happy? The reality is, if you're anything like the rest of us here (and I suspect you are. You're here for a reason), then you've tried and failed before, probably many times. You know what you want, and you know how to get there. Of course this process is scary. It would be silly not to contemplate the very real issues that could arise. Might you have trouble in the beginning? Yes, you probably will. Might it be painful right after surgery for a week or two? Yep. It definitely will. But are you willing to deal with a short period of pain and discomfort for many years of health and life that would not exist without this surgery? Only you can answer that. In the end, this is a huge, terrifying, and sometimes horrible process. You're probably going to have crappy experiences with food/drink, gas, weird metabolic and hormonal changes that make you a little crazy, maybe even some deficiencies that you're going to need to work at to fix. Maybe even some of your "friends" and loved ones will act strangely towards you as you change and become closer to society's expectations of beauty and normalcy. But you're also going to have an entire new life, and entire new you. You're going to have times when you're so overwhelmed by the amazing changes you'll be going through that you'll just break down in tears out of pure joy and disbelief. If you do this, understand that as monumentally difficult as this is going to be, it's going to be a thousand times better than where you are. In a year, when you're completely healed and living your new life (probably loving the way you feel and look), these fears will seem silly to you. You'll look back at this and realize that everything has been worth it and that you'd do it again in a heartbeat. By the way! I'm a little over 13 months out and I've lost almost 200 since surgery and over 250 overall. I went from a size 34 jeans to a size 10/12 jeans. I followed the plan obsessively, and as such, have not suffered any dumping or Vitamin deficiencies. My one-year check up last month proved I am perfectly healthy. Now that I am healed and have entered maintenance, I've added some good carbs back into my diet. I can even treat myself with a bite or two of something yummy and naughty (i.e. my friend's birthday cake) and then move on with my life. My relationship with food is now healthy and normal, something I never really believed I would ever experience. I feel... normal. Yup... I would do this all over again a million times if it would get me here every time. Only you can choose, but it seems to me that you already know what to do and why you're doing it. Don't let your fears conquer you. I wish you nothing but the best of luck and health moving forward.

Unfortunately there are very real medical reasons they won't operate on you while you're sick. Could you lie and just not tell them you're sick? Probably. But I would highly recommend doing this by the book and keeping your medical team informed about this, and they can decide what to do about it and where to go from here. It would be better to postpone your surgery a couple weeks (or maybe even less) than to risk your health by going under and trying to recover from a major surgery while your immune system is trying to fight something else. Best of luck to you! Sleep, drink fluids, and take good care of yourself.

I chose the bypass for a number of reasons, key among them that I wanted as much help as I could get and because, statistically speaking, patients tend to lose more weight faster with the bypass and have a higher statistical probability of maintaining that loss over time. I started the process at a little over 400 pounds and my highest weight was 450, and I was soooo far beyond ready to get this weight off and actually move on with my life, asap. Now at over 13 months out, I'm down almost 200 since surgery and over 250 overall, and I've never been happier or healthier. I also can eat pretty much anything I want (had a bite of my friend's birthday cake yesterday and accounted for those calories) while still not even really desiring sweets/pop/etc. My blood work is perfect, I went from a size 34 to a size 10/12 and I'm pretty damn happy with my life. I also would do it over again a million times. p.s. - never had any dumping or malabsorption issues, most likely because I followed the plan PERFECTLY for like the first year. Now I'm at the point where I can occasionally treat myself while still generally eating really healthfully, and this was my goal all along: to be happy and healthy and actually be able to have a healthy relationship with food. Worth it beyond belief!

I stall or gain a few pounds of water weight every single month during my period, and I've still lost nearly 200 pounds since surgery. You'll get there, try not to stress about it! I know how hard that can be, trust me lol.

The plan doesn't exist just for weightloss, especially at this early stage. You can easily kill yourself or destroy your new stomach while still losing weight. The plan exists to prevent serious health complications and/or death. The nerves in your stomach have been severed and will not reconnect for quite some time. As such, you simply won't feel when you are full but you very well may be stuffing your stomach to the point of extreme danger. The little keyhole incisions on your abdomen may not look like much and may not hurt much anymore, but I implore you to look at pictures or video of what is done to your stomach during this surgery; there is now a HUGE line of staples holding your fragile, tiny stomach together. Eating solid foods before it's time is just playing with fire, as you're basically rubbing solid food against a giant wound and risking getting pieces of this food stuck in the staples or incision, which can then get infected and kill you. Or maybe you will rip your new stomach open and leak food and other stuff into your abdominal cavity... which can also kill you. You're not only eating solid foods (and one of the most damaging and dense solid foods: meat protein) before you're supposed to, but you're eating to excess because you can't feel that full feeling yet. Seeking that full feeling is what got us here in the first place. That fact is, if you're always going to measure your eating habits by whether you feel full or not, you're quickly going to completely sabotage yourself. It's imperative, now more than ever, to measure exactly how much you will be eating and the exact foods you should be eating and do not exceed that. Also, just for a bit of reference, I'm over a year out (passed up the 13 month mark a week ago) and I can't eat two entire scrambled eggs in one sitting. My advice would be to proceed with extreme caution. You're not only putting your own life and future health at risk, but you're also in danger of becoming one of those scary statistic of failure and/or death after surgery simply via your own habits, which hurts everyone in the end. You've gone through all this work and come this far, why risk failure now? I wish you the best of luck and health moving forward.

moisturizing wipies! I had lavender wipies. They were SO comforting and made me feel a thousand times better.

So here's the thing. High amounts of fat can cause dumping much like high amounts of sugar can; after surgery, we don't make the enzymes to break fats down, so they can get dumped, much the same way sugar would. However, also like sugar, different people are able to tolerate different amounts of fats. And unlike sugar, there are a ton of benefits to eating healthy amounts of animal fats, and definite drawbacks to not eating them. I spent months eating low fat and nonfat everything after surgery, and after a while I realized my extreme brainfog wasn't due to not getting enough calories or water (as I was getting enough of both, especially for my low activity level while I healed from knee surgery), but due to lack of fat! Your brain NEEDS fat to function, and your body needs good fats for a whole host of other important digestive and regenerative reasons. Once I started drinking whole fat milk, eating whole eggs, whole fat cottage cheese, etc, I felt a million times better. It took me a while to find the kinds and amounts that worked for me without making my stomach feel uncomfortable, but after figuring out what worked best for me, everything was great. I've lost almost 200 pounds since surgery, so I'm thinking eating whole fat foods doesn't impede weight loss. I'm betting the whole "nonfat craze" thing is because there are many bariatric patients who simply can't tolerate the fat, especially in the beginning, and because unfortunately many people lack the knowledge to distinguish between HEALTHY fats in HEALTHY amounts vs. oil fats and the like, so it makes sense to just advise low or nonfat across the board for bariatric patients. I hope this helped! I put a lot of effort into talking to professionals to understand this matter because I had similar issues with my close-minded nut, and I disagreed with her from the beginning. Maybe low and non fat works for some people and is more safe in terms of preventing bingeing/cravings for some people but no two people are exactly the same, and you have to do what works for you and makes you the most healthy and functional. I'm off to eat my whole eggs and avocado with cheddar.

Mine was My Chemical Romance! It was about a decade ago, and I was also a freshman in highschool. My favorite band, with my two best friends. It was a really freaking awesome experience.

YEEEES. Thank you! Very much appreciated! Can't wait to try the blueberry muffin.

I just attended a support group meeting about vitamins/supplements. They had several suggestions, but their favorite one (also one they are FINALLY carrying in the hospital pharmacy) is Celebrate cheweables. I actually love this brand and find them to be the least gross, and it's a pretty good value, especially considering they are formulated specifically for bariatric patients. Forest berry is my favorite flavor.

Hello! I'm a little over 13 months post op and I drink a shake every morning for Breakfast, sometimes over a period of hours. Then I normally have 2 more full meals, but I eat them in increments throughout the day. So I basically eat three decent meals, but over the whole day in spaced out into several little meals. It feels like I'm snacking, and since I'm still prioritizing Protein, it keeps me full for the entire day. And in between there, I'm drinking Water. Hope this helps!