toasty

First, congratulations on all of the great exercise you are getting in. Exercise is going to be an important part of your new lifestyle, and the fact that you are already doing that is great. Like you, pre-op one of my worst times was after supper until bedtime, when I would compulsively snack. For now, it seems like that is something you should try and work on. I am assuming since you have a specific date for your surgery that you already have a bariatric team that includes a dietitian/nutritionist (we use the acronym "NUT" for that). I highly recommend that you speak with your NUT about this, they can probably offer more specific advice tailored to your situation. It is important to identify the reason why you are snacking. Are you bored? Are you anxious? Is it a habit associated with watching TV? Once you have identified the reason, you can start working on a solution. If you eat because you are bored, then try and keep yourself busy instead of watching TV, for example going on bariatricpal and participating in the various topics. Or go exercise. Do something to distract yourself. Another idea would be to seek help from a therapist. Dealing with eating problems now will make it easier to cope with these things after surgery, so now is the time to work on this stuff. Given how far you are from surgery, a pre-op liquid diet does not sound reasonable for you at this time. Most of the post-op diet doesn't really work because your stomach is still too large. That said, the post-op diet is essentially a low-carb, low-fat diet, so you could start there. As far as portion control is concerned, maybe try using a smaller plate, such as a salad plate, instead of regular size plates. Again, post-op your portions will be much smaller because you will not physically be able to eat as much, but you can certainly practice good habits such as eating slowly (take 1/2 hour to eat your meal), no carbonated beverages, practice not drinking anything 1/2 hour before until 1/2 hour after your meal, and chew thoroughly. And stop eating when you feel satisfied. As far as pain goes, it differs from person to person. My pain was mostly the first two days in the hospital, by the fourth day I was on tylenol for the pain, and by the sixth day I was off all pain meds. But everyone is different. Speak with your doctor about the fact that you had an addiction and they should be able to come up with an appropriate pain management regimen for you. If you follow the directions of your doctor and your NUT, you should have no problems losing weight post-op. Welcome, and I look forward to hearing more from you!

I am so sorry to hear about all of your bad experiences. I have heard of a number of people who have had really hard times in the first weeks after surgery with awful pain and such. It is awful that you are having to go through that. All I can say is don't push yourself. Don't just start eating foods you don't feel ready for. Maybe stay on soft foods for a while more before going to full solids, or even pureed foods for a while. With all you have been through, your pouch is probably pretty angry. We are all here for you! Please use this site heavily, look around, we are all on the same journey and you will find so many wonderful people here who are sympathetic or understand what you are going through. In the end, things will get better and you will be very happy you got the surgery. Just hang in there!

BTW, remember that depending on your state, if your state has disability insurance, you can take advantage of that while you are out. Also, if your employer has more than 50 employees, you are covered by FMLA as well to protect your job.

I took off 4 weeks myself, which is what my doctor advised. I thought it might be too long, but I was wrong. Although I was out of pain by day 5 after surgery, learning to eat and drink was very time consuming. And the fatigue! I have never had to take naps before, but I find that by 2pm I become so fatigued that I have to take a nap. And all I am really doing is light housework and sitting around (I walk in the morning and evenings). I have started week 3, and I now see why my doctor recommended 4 weeks. 3 weeks might have been ok, but anything less than 3 weeks would have been bad. And some people have pain or other problems 3 and 4 weeks after surgery. Remember that this is major surgery, not some minor outpatient procedure, so you need to account for the time and energy your body needs to recover. Also remember your calorie intake is very low, especially early on when your pouch is swollen and you can eat so little. This affects your energy levels too.

My NUT told me that the two things that are most commonly not tolerated early on are chicken and eggs. I can eat eggs fine (I cook one egg scrambled with milk, as advised to make it more moist, and eat about a third of it). But when I tried to eat chicken (it was even pureed), I threw it up almost immediately. Once I threw up, my pouch was very angry, and I had to go on clear liquid diet for a day and full liquids for two days before I could stand the pureed stage again.

Per my doctor's recommendation, I took off 4 weeks. I let my boss know I would be out for 4 weeks having surgery (I in fact told him it was bariatric surgery, but I didn't have to). The HR team took over and made sure I was setup with approvals for FMLA leave, assisted me in applying for Short Term Disability (which pays 67% of my paycheck), and setup to have the remainder paid through my sick time so I didn't have to use sick time for all of it, yet I still get a full paycheck. Everyone in the US is covered by FMLA (although it only applies to employers with more than 50 employees I think). Some people have Short Term Disability insurance (like I do), others rely on state disability insurance (depending on the state). It is best to talk with your company's HR team; normally they will at least tell you what benefits you are eligible for. Assuming they are professionals, the HR team will know not to pry into your health situation, but will be looking for documentation (such as a doctor's note). To ensure you qualify for FMLA, they need more information from your doctor, but the coordinator at my doctor's office was completely aware of this and provided them with all the info they needed. Don't assume that you need to use up all of your sick time, or that you are going to have to divulge all the details of your surgery. Normally this isn't necessary. To be clear: Bariatric surgery qualifies as a bona fide short-term disability, and at least in California qualifies you for State Disability Insurance until you return to work (or more specifically, for the period your doctor says you will be unable to work).

Excellent! Congratulations.

For the Vitamins, I use the following schedule: Morning: calcium citrate 500mg (Bariatric Advantage Chewy Bites) + my morning prescription meds Noon: Multivitamin with Iron (2 Flintstones chewable with Iron) Supper: Calcium Citrate 500mg (Bariatric Advantage Chewy Bites) + my evening prescription meds On Saturday: B12 2500mg sublingual tablet (Sundown Naturals) The first week after surgery, I really struggled trying to get in all of my Protein. I relied totally on Protein shakes to make it happen. In fact, I still do, and I am a little over two weeks out from surgery. I have one shake at Breakfast and one at dinner, and that gives me 60g of protein. I use the rest of the day to sip fluids. Once you get to soft foods, you will probably be able to eat enough protein to wean yourself slowly off of the shakes. But until then, you just have to rely on them.

I found I had some GI gas, and the GasX helped with that. Not with the abdominal cavity gas; only walking helps that. Funny enough, I didn't have much problem with that, never felt the pain in my shoulders like other talk about.

As @@jess9395 said, it depends on the person. Younger people (say under 35) generally have more elasticity in their skin, and the loose skin tends to be less of an issue generally (although not in all cases). For most of the rest of us, loose skin is a reality we will just have to cope with regardless of how many crunches or whatever you do. Skin doesn't just melt away with exercise. And as @@Sajijoma said, for people who have lost a lot of weight (over 100 lbs, which is or will be most of us) there is simply too much extra skin to "tone" away.

I agree with everything @@Djmohr, @@Inner Surfer Girl, and @@VSGAnn2014 have said. The only thing I would add is that WLS is a tool, it is not a magic bullet for weight loss. In the end, what it does is help you to develop good eating habits. By decreasing the size of the stomach, it helps you to reduce your portion size and forces you to eat slowly, chew thoroughly, and generally eat more healthy. But, it is only a tool, and it is totally possible to overcome the tool and sabotage your weight loss. One example is grazing, or eating small amounts constantly. By doing that, you get around the fact that your stomach is smaller, but still rack up the calories. Or drinking your calories by drinking high-calorie drinks throughout the day. Or eating high-carb or high-fat foods. These are some ways to defeat the WLS. In the end, if you have real food habit issues, you would be best to combine WLS with therapy to deal with those issues so they don't sabotage your weight loss. As far as hunger is concerned, it is different with everyone, and you won't know until after surgery how it will be. Most people have less hunger, but not everyone. Everyone seems to struggle with "head hunger" (cravings) to a greater or lesser degree.

BTW, until you are sure what you like, I would buy my fish at the meat counter at the grocery store. You can buy it in very small quantities (like one or two fillets of tilapia, 6oz of salmon, etc.). Once you find a few fish varieties you like, then you can buy them in quantity at places like costco or sams club.

Although I haven't noticed any change yet to my tastes, I have heard from a lot of people that their tastes in food radically change after WLS. Things they used to hate they really like, and things they used to like they can't stand. For mild fish, try Tilapia, Red Snapper, or Yellowtail. Some people also like trout, but I don't like it myself. I happen to really like Mahi Mahi as well, you might want to try that too.

@@jands75 Remember that weight is only one data point, not the whole thing. Take your measurements, your clothing size, your body fat percentage, even your activity level as other measures of success. Try not to be a slave to the number on the scale and consider it only one data point.

Before you consider reducing your use of shakes, I suggest keeping a journal of all of the food you eat (even if only a small taste) and the quantities, so you can calculate exactly how much Protein you are eating. If you truly are getting 75-95g of protein or more, then you can probably reduce your use of protein shakes as @@Veronica_mm said if you are able to maintain your 50g of protein a day with other foods. I would also caution you that very soon now, when you reach the solid foods stage, you are going to have to stop the "nibbling". Grazing (as @@James Marusek can tell you from a recent study he was talking about) is a major cause of weight gain, and that goes especially for WLS patients. When you are on liquids and purees, eating small portions constantly is fine, and even necessary to get in your minimum protein because the pouch is so small, but when you are getting into real foods, you should be moving towards discrete meals with nothing but Water or water substitutes (Powerade Zero, Crystal light, etc.) in between. Also, it's important to know what you are grazing on. Are you grazing on yogurt, cottage cheese, tuna or other high-protien foods? Ok. Are you grazing on whole fruit and veggies? Not as good, but still probably ok. Are you grazing on canned fruit, crackers, nuts or other foods with lots of carbs or fat? Probably not good. Finally, if your grazing is due to real hunger, not just "head hunger", then you might want to try adding a bit more protein to your normal meals. Protein should keep your hunger down longer. However, if you are not really hungry, but just satisfying a craving, then you may want to think up of some things to get your mind off of it, or possibly see a therapist to work on that. If not dealt with, the head hunger can really derail your success.

I wouldn't worry too much about it. I haven't heard of a single person say they "failed" the psych eval. Generally, I think they are simply looking to be sure the person knows what they are getting into, and don't have some serious issue that would make success unlikely. Chances are you will be fine.

When I ate pureed chicken, I threw up. I don't suggest chicken. When I ate pureed chicken, I threw up. I don't suggest chicken.

@@sweetnell I hope you are not offended by a newbie giving you advice. I am not a veteran, being only two weeks after surgery, but I have some ideas. These are some of the things I was taught will be lifelong habits I need to maintain. Are you drinking at least 64 oz. of fluids (preferably water) per day? Are you eating three meals, with half the meal being Protein, one-quarter fruit and veggies, and one-quarter other carbs? Are you watching your portion sizes (for instance, generally 3 oz. of protein at each meal)? If you are eating the recommended amount of protein, you should not be experiencing physical hunger. Could you be experiencing "head hunger"? If so, you will need to deal with that somehow, maybe through therapy or some other mechanism. They tell us that the #1 cause of weight gain after surgery is grazing. You need to figure out a way to stop that. Maybe talking to a NUT would help.

I am two weeks post-op. Realistically, the only way you are going to get in your necessary Protein at this point is to use Protein powder or Protein shakes. No other way. I struggle too to get in my 60 grams of protein a day (I use the Premier Protein, that has 30g of protein per shake, but it is hard getting it down). Try some different shakes and/or powders, and see which one you can tolerate. I often procrastinate about drinking my Protein Shake, and find other things that have to be done to avoid it. Bad me. I eventually have to buckle up and drink the damn thing. Usually takes me 20 minutes. Eventually, after you get onto normal foods, you should be able to get in most if not all of your protein through regular food. But not early on.

@ I think it would be helpful for you to write down your reasons for getting the surgery. For me, it really helps clear the mind to write it down. As @ said, one of the reasons for getting the surgery is you have tried to diet a number of times before and it hasn't worked. In my case, at one point I went on the Atkins diet, lost over 100 lbs, and one year later had gained it all back plus a little more. As I have said in other posts, you must think of surgery as a tool, not a magic weight loss method. Even if you get surgery, it will be lots of work. Surgery works by reducing the size of your stomach, and in the case of RNY, causing you to dump if you eat too much sugar or fat in most people (this is a good thing! It keeps you from eating exactly the foods you shouldn't). Surgery promotes good habits: portion control (because your stomach is so small), chewing thoroughly (if you don't chew, your stomach will reject it; that is, you will throw up), eating slowly (your new smaller stomach can only take food slowly), avoidance of low-value carbs (such as bread, rice, sugar, etc.), and avoidance of high-fat foods (such as french fries and other greasy foods). Sound familiar? It is all the things we have been told to do to lose weight, umpteen times before. But in the end, it is up to you to eat right. It is no magic bullet. The surgery is a tool to help you develop good habits, but you CAN defeat it if you really want to. Surgery is not a cheat. It is not an "easy way out". After surgery, the new healthy regimen you will be on will be very tough. You will probably be eating differently (healthier) than many people around you. But it has been proven to provide a large percentage of people dramatic weight loss, permanently. Note that only 5% of obese people are able to lose weight and keep it off permanently via dieting alone. Only 5%! For those with RNY surgery, 95% of patients lose 70% or more of their excess weight, and keep it off permanently. So, ask yourself: given your past experience, are you realistically going to be able to lose weight by dieting alone? Do you have the willpower and fortitude to be one of those 5%? For morbidly obese patients, the answer is almost certainly "no". So the answer to the psychologist's question: "Because I have tried numerous times to lose weight by dieting, and every time was unsuccessful. With surgery, studies show I have a much better chance of losing the weight and keeping it off permanently."

I take Flintstones Childrens Chewable vitamins, two at lunch. It has everything we need, including iron. And it is dirt cheap at any grocery store. I take one tablet of Sundown Naturals B-12 2500mg sublingual once per week (on Saturday for me). It is a quick dissolve, and one bottle will last you almost a year, at a cost of under $10. I got mine at Walgreens. Finally, I get my Calcium and Vitamin D from Bariatric Advantage Calcium Citrate Chewy Bites, 500mg (comes in various flavors, I like caramel). I take one in the morning, and one at dinner (have to be careful to not take the multivitamin and the calcium at the same time, or the iron in the multivitamin will interfere with the calcium). It is best to order these online, or from your bariatric center if they carry them. No fuss, no muss, and not expensive (except maybe the chewy bites, but they are so darn tasty!).

Thanks everyone. I am over my temporary insanity / pity party and I am back to a positive attitude. You all gave great ideas. One of my favorite places to go is to our local Japanese restaurant. And yes, right now I could still go there and just get the Miso soup and only drink the broth. But it would be hell on earth to watch my wife and daughter scarfing up sunomono salad, steamed gyoza, tempura, and sushi and not be able to have any myself. So for now, I just stay home. Eventually, in a month or so I will be able to start having normal foods, and then I will be able to start enjoying edemame and maybe some sashimi (no rice). Then I will be fine, since soup and a few pieces of sashimi will almost certainly fill me up. Until then, while I am on my liquid/pureed diet, I just have to tough it out. Its not easy, but I can do it! And yes, eventually I will be able to have a cheeseburger, no bun, but with no fries and no milikshake. That will be fine. In fact, I'll probably get the chicken salad instead.

I was tolerating tuna salad pretty well, so when I go back to pureed I will eat more of that.

@@Threetimesacharm Thanks for the advice. I just saw my NUT today, and she said the same thing. She told me that many people have problems with eggs and chicken. I haven't had any problem with eggs, but oh boy the chicken... Anyway, I've decided no chicken for at least three to four weeks. And my NUT also told me to go back to full liquid diet for 4 more days before trying pureed diet again, since my stomach might not be ready for pureed foods quite yet. She said that my pouch is still probably a bit swollen and sensitive to foods, so the amounts I can eat and the types of food I can accept are going to be limited for a while.

God, today was hard. I recently had a setback on my pureed diet, and I had to go back to full liquids for a few days. I have been feeling very tired, and I am totally sick of drinking fluids, taking my Vitamins, and all of the rigamarole with this surgery. I'm tired of thinking about constantly sipping liquids. I'm tired of watching my family going out to dinner without me, and having to stay home and eat my boring food. Today, I found myself just wanting to go out and get a cheeseburger, fries, and a Coke with a chocolate milkshake. And knowing that that is totally impossible for me now just gets me down. I am normally a pretty positive guy, but today I really have the blues about my limitations. I know I have lost 18 lbs in the two weeks since my surgery (and another 15 lbs in the month before surgery), and I am down two pants sizes and one shirt size, so I should be very happy. But it is hard right now. I just want to eat regular food.