I feel like I should be celebrating, it's my second to last clearance. It took 4 hours but it's finished and I probably did fine. But the very nice psychologist. She asked me the dreaded question: Why can't you just lose weight without surgery?

I didn't know how to answer her. I babbled something and we moved on but now I'm finally getting second thoughts. WHY can't I do this alone? What's wrong with me?

And I'm so close too. Just a few more PCP visits and it'll go to insurance. I'm scared and upset all over again.

If you're like most of us you *have* lost it on your own... and then regained it. Again and again and again. At what point do you admit defeat, and search for another alternative, however drastic?

For the first time in my life I have a real solid belief that with my RNY, I won't regain it again. I'm going to work this tool for the rest of my life. I am committed to this path, body and soul.

If you have doubts, explore them, deeply, and if you decide it isn't for you and you want to try dieting again, then you definitely shouldn't have the surgery. You have to be 100% sure. There's no leeway on this important of a decision.

Which ever way you go, I wish you the best of luck and success. ????

@ I think it would be helpful for you to write down your reasons for getting the surgery. For me, it really helps clear the mind to write it down. As @ said, one of the reasons for getting the surgery is you have tried to diet a number of times before and it hasn't worked. In my case, at one point I went on the Atkins diet, lost over 100 lbs, and one year later had gained it all back plus a little more.

As I have said in other posts, you must think of surgery as a tool, not a magic weight loss method. Even if you get surgery, it will be lots of work. Surgery works by reducing the size of your stomach, and in the case of RNY, causing you to dump if you eat too much sugar or fat in most people (this is a good thing! It keeps you from eating exactly the foods you shouldn't). Surgery promotes good habits: portion control (because your stomach is so small), chewing thoroughly (if you don't chew, your stomach will reject it; that is, you will throw up), eating slowly (your new smaller stomach can only take food slowly), avoidance of low-value carbs (such as bread, rice, sugar, etc.), and avoidance of high-fat foods (such as french fries and other greasy foods). Sound familiar? It is all the things we have been told to do to lose weight, umpteen times before. But in the end, it is up to you to eat right. It is no magic bullet. The surgery is a tool to help you develop good habits, but you CAN defeat it if you really want to.

Surgery is not a cheat. It is not an "easy way out". After surgery, the new healthy regimen you will be on will be very tough. You will probably be eating differently (healthier) than many people around you. But it has been proven to provide a large percentage of people dramatic weight loss, permanently.

Note that only 5% of obese people are able to lose weight and keep it off permanently via dieting alone. Only 5%! For those with RNY surgery, 95% of patients lose 70% or more of their excess weight, and keep it off permanently.

So, ask yourself: given your past experience, are you realistically going to be able to lose weight by dieting alone? Do you have the willpower and fortitude to be one of those 5%? For morbidly obese patients, the answer is almost certainly "no".

So the answer to the psychologist's question: "Because I have tried numerous times to lose weight by dieting, and every time was unsuccessful. With surgery, studies show I have a much better chance of losing the weight and keeping it off permanently."

It's an annoying question my SO asked me early in the process. I just always felt it was obvious that I tried and failed. I wouldn't have gotten to the size I am if I hadn't been a terrible failure. I think that is what stung me and left me stumbling.

I'm scared to death that the question, while she said it was personal and not part of the eval, will having me failing the eval. All because I got caught off guard. I've gone over my reasons over and over and they feel sound to me. I just hope they agree.

I wouldn't worry too much about it. I haven't heard of a single person say they "failed" the psych eval. Generally, I think they are simply looking to be sure the person knows what they are getting into, and don't have some serious issue that would make success unlikely.

Chances are you will be fine.