notateechanow

It's a beautiful day outside. Too bad you can't combine it with a trip into the aquarium or something fun for her! Hey, as long as you don't cry, she won't. :thumbup: Good luck with your appointment. Did you make time to workout yesterday, too?

It's not so much that they're hard to find----it's hard to believe they're for real. I am confident I've allowed a lot of great guys go because they were too attractive and I didn't trust that they could truly be interested in me. I canceled a date TONIGHT because I was worried that this guy wasn't going to like me...and just couldn't handle the rejection today. Tomorrow is another story. Somehow going out on a week night and wasting my time doesn't seem as bad! I think I've been truly blessed with some fantastic men in my life. Unfortunately, because of the years of baggage and comments made, I've dismissed the good ones. They're out there and will still be there, whether you gain or lose. Keep the faith. The right man will wait until you're ready to hear it.

I'm sorry to see no one responded to your post! Let me begin by telling you my own father always told me that no man could or would ever love a fat woman.....so I share your struggles with how men perceive us to be. I also have many male friends who joke that large women give better oral sex. (sorry if that's too graphic, but I'm being honest and direct here....ladies, if that's news to you, step back and watch what they want from you!!!) Because of both of these reasons, I've had a really hard time trying to figure out why a man would want to go out with me----until I had a few tell me. The results were surprising, and might be helpful for you! They enjoyed my company. They think I'm cute and want to get to know me better. Ummmm hello?! Yep. It's hard to hear and even harder to believe, but I'm still working on digesting it. I've struggled with dating. I started this journey with a live-in boyfriend. He encouraged me to do this and was the only person whom I confided in when I decided to do it. Needless to say, when my eating habits changed, it became painfully apparent that he and I had little else in common, other than eating. I starting dating a few months after moving out from our house. The first few dates were hard primarily because I wasn't emotionally ready. Then, once emotionally ready, I had a tough time eating. I started making dates for the strange time after meals so I wouldn't be expected to eat. I go out for coffee even though I don't drink coffee! I'm still working on digesting this whole transformation. Mine has been slow but I'm a work in progress. I've been on a dating website and still worry that when men see me, they won't find me attractive. My pictures on the site are all recent but I still have that fear-----that rejection awaits when they finally see me. At my support group we talked at length about being intimate and whether or not you tell the men you've had surgery. Honestly, I've asked my guy friends about this---if a man is naked with you, he's definitely NOT looking at skin, stretch marks or scars. He's just so damned happy you're naked with him that he's hoping to have a good performance! Little by little, you'll grow to respect yourself more and feel better about yourself when you've heard it enough times. I'm still working on it, but it's a struggle worth winning....I hope your dating is going well. It's been a while since you originally posted.

Hey all. I read this thread start to finish today because I'm really starting to struggle. I realize many of you wouldn't consider me to be a "slow loser" as I lost about 55 pounds in my first year. However, let me say that I lost over 75 pounds about 5 years ago using Weight Watchers with far less work and agony....so to me, this has been a struggle. I moved in November and dropped a quick 40 in about 2 1/2 months. Not fair. Surprising and shocking at the same time. I realize the quick loss was because of exactly what you said--I ate a lot of protein and very few carbs. I have been working out regularly all along, for at least an hour or so, 4-5 days a week. I also made a few other appointments that made a huge difference--the first with the nutritionist. With the amount of working out I was doing, she wanted me to get closer to 100-120 grams of protein a day! (Thank goodness for Benefiber!) I hadn't seen her since pre-op and thought that one year out would be a great time to remind me of the basics. I was in a very different position to listen. The second thing I did was made an appointment for a psychologist. I needed to address my head hunger and my compulsive behaviors that I struggle with now, nearly 2 years out. The last suggestion I have is to attend a support group if it's available where you had your surgery. This site has been a tremendous support for me, but nothing is more helpful than sitting in a room full of people who face the same struggles, frustrations, and disappointments that I've had. I've had a difficult summer and am now down about 115 pounds. I was running 15-20 miles a week (yep, never in my WILDEST imagination did I think I'd take up running!) but am now waiting for knee surgery. (Not a result of running but of returning to throwing the discus at my ripe old age.....) For those of you struggling with losing pounds but noticing the inches, be sure to take measurements! This is the only thing that has helped me make it through the months when the scale didn't reflect my sincere efforts. I still want to lose about 30 pounds. I'm not sure it's going to happen, but I'll re-asses when I get closer. Nothing about this surgery and efforts post surgery has been easy for me. I have had to work for every pound I've lost, but I wouldn't change a thing. I'm re-learning to eat as normal people do and trying to stay active. My long years of sedentary life and bad eating aren't habits that I can lose overnight. Thank you all for your insight. It's really great to know I'm not alone in this frustration. There are so many who make this seem easy and who talk about their thinner selves. I was never thin and don't have a thinner me to reflect on. My greatest moment was being called "thick" by a man the other night. For the first time ever, I didn't feel like the fat chick at the bar....I was simply voluptuous. It's the small things that make me happy in this battle. Keep up the great work.

No official results yet, but I could see it. It was exactly where it belonged.... Hey, just as an FYI: I had a bathing suit from Lands' End that I bought last summer. I only wore it twice but it doesn't fit. I found out that I could return it! Lands End will take back any of their clothing at ANY time if purchased through the catalog so they have your info on file. You don't need receipts, and it can be worn. So for those of you who don't want to buy many clothes, consider Lands End....if you order in the Sears store it will be shipped to your home for free, but you can return any purchases to the store. (I don't work for them, I SWEAR!...I'm just totally sold on their return policy!)

Heidi, I've had a problem keeping down food. I don't get "stuck" per se...the food just sits in my upper chest for hours. It's not painful, but about 3 hours after eating---if I drink anything, it's like flushing a clogged toilet. Everything comes back out! The upper GI didn't show a slip, though. I'll be curious to see what happens. I didn't know about the Ibuprofen until I went to the support group meetings. My surgeon never mentioned it and I never read it anywhere, either! Boston Lady, The hair falling out isn't typically an issue related to people who are banded. Technically, you shouldn't have a problem with adequate nutrition should you follow the directions from your doctor. Some people might have that problem, but it's not common as with the GB. I don't have Phyllis' e-mail. Sorry. I'd assume a call to the office might help with that, though...

I've never seen the liquid ibuprofen......so I haven't any idea. I'm sure that would be ok. It's not that the medicine is an issue. It sitting in your new pouch and potentially causing ulcers is the issue....but ask!! I saw a quote in Runner's World today that has had me thinking all day and thought I'd share with all of you (paraphrased because I didn't steal the magazine from the gym!) ----very fitting for our WL journeys. "It's not amazing that I finished. It's amazing that I had the courage to begin."

Had an Upper GI today at the Brigham. Make sure you're there 15 minutes early. They're super efficient and I started right on time. It took less than 25 minutes, start to finish. As far as the ibuprofen goes, once you're banded, it can be dangerous because you don't have digestive juices in the upper pouch to help it dissolve. Once your band has restriction, it's possible that the pills will just sit on top. It can cause ulcers, which in turn can then cause erosion of your band. It's ok to take on occasion (I've just asked my surgeon this recently!) but not for regular or long term use. They have liquid tylenol available. You should switch to liquid and chewables whenever possible once you're banded. I had a sport-related injury that my orthopedic suggested I take ibuprofen for...and my surgeon said it would be ok as long as it wasn't frequent or long term. They also gave me a pill splitter when I was discharged from surgery. I used that just to be safe. Remember--no gum, liquids, or anything in your mouth (brushing teeth is ok!) after midnight tonight for you! Good luck!

One day, one meal, one workout at a time.....you'll get there. We didn't GAIN this weight over night. Habits take a long time to break and re-create better ones. Don't beat yourself up. Everyone else will do that for you......keep up the good work. Look how far you've come!!

Oh, Heidi----I'm having a great summer. I'm not seeing anyone special, but have been dating up a storm. It's funny how different my focus is now. I'm not looking for Mr. Right or Mr. Perfect. I'm having a good time going out and getting to know a lot of different guys---kind of like the Bachelorette, without all of the kissing and overnight dates. :thumbup: It is challenging to avoid food, though. I try to play if off that I don't want to sit for an entire meal, making the date for after 8 at night.....but I don't drink often, either, nor do I hold my alcohol well....so I avoid drinking. I typically try to meet for coffee, but even that's awkward because I don't drink coffee!!!! Funny, huh?! I do avoid mentioning the whole banding thing. I figure, until they get to know me and have a chance at seeing my scars, they haven't any need to know! I try for at least 4 or 5 dates a week before heading back to school. (I don't go back to work until after Labor Day!) Sorry to hear you're still struggling with head hunger. THAT I can relate to! It's really hard to be sitting with other people who are eating and not keep picking or eating more than I should. I don't know how you people with kids make it through! I'm finally back working out. My knee is still sore, but I couldn't stay out of the gym any longer. (Funny transformation, huh?! Morbidly obese to a gym lover!!!:sneaky:) I'm sore everywhere today and hardly even notice that I have a knee! Have a super day. I'm headed to the beach. :thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::sneaky::thumbup: Paige

She and I nearly got into it last week when I called for a fill and was told I'd have a 2-3 week wait---but she's pregnant and not looking terribly comfortable. She said she's due in October, but hoping to go far sooner. I'm headed in for my Upper GI and couldn't get a follow up appointment until the first day of school, which clearly won't work----but that's the 8th of September!!! I'm not going til the following week instead. Just can't miss the first day back for a follow up. K8, don't be discouraged by Dr. R's cold ways. He's just not a friendly guy. I did really like his new PA, though I don't recall her name. She's a cute little thing and very attentive. He's a skilled surgeon. That's all that matters right now. Rely on Phyllis (the Dietician) and his PA's for your post-surgical support. He won't be good at that, either!!

Junk always slides....ugh. Able to eat more. Loved the small slice of pizza I had on a date the other night. Dr. R's new PA actually suggested the Upper GI. I liked her. Happy to have a new person who is PERSONABLE!!

Once again, Dr. R didn't really listen to me about how much of a fill/unfill I wanted. I tried to get half of my last fill removed, but he took out the entire last fill. I'm down 10 since my last unfill 5 weeks ago...so he was happy. YEP, tried to refer me to a plastic surgeon AGAIN, but not until after asking if I already HAD it....maybe he just asks the way the supermarket asks if you want paper or plastic?! I had a few bites of a flatbread sandwich from DD this morning. Actually, ate a few bites over the course of an hour or so. SO excited to eat real food again. I have an Upper GI scheduled for the 18th since I haven't had one since the day after surgery and I've had some issues with getting tight at only 6.0 CC in my band.... I'm on the right track. Just hoping that this new unfill doesn't kill me. I also saw Phyllis. She was like a fish out of water in the Brigham and looked bored....she said the group last night was quiet without us.

Ok, after writing above I decided to call Dr. R's office to make an appointment for a slight unfill. I'm not dying by any stretch of the imagination, but have a really tough time eating solids before like 5 or 6 PM.....and it's not helping me lose any weight. So, rather than being uncomfortable, I want to get a little taken out. Can you believe she told me it's a 2-3 week wait for an appointment?! I explained I'd be ok with seeing a NP or PA, that he's not all that anyway....but seriously?! I'm not all that pleased that the wait is this long! Fortunately, Jennifer found a 9:00 appointment tomorrow after a cancelation. (Thank you to whomever canceled!) I'm not desperate for an unfill, but are you kidding me?! It defies logic that someone should have to wait that long for an appointment! I'm not one to run to the doctor at every possible moment, so I've been like this for at least a few weeks---waiting another 2-3 would have been tough. UGH. Just needed to vent. Are you all experiencing the same thing?!

Not making it to the Support group today...it came up too fast and I have plans to see my brother's family. Since there's not meeting at the Brigham this month, I guess it's September for me!

I'm laughing as I re-read this thread. I was bored and just looking through, reflecting on the past year of my life. (I just got a renewal notice for my apartment....) I still haven't gotten to Onderland yet, but am working hard to do so. I've run two 5K races, rather than just doing the initial one in May that I planned. I competed in the discus (my college sport) in two track meets in June and July and eventually hurt my knee. I haven't been able to run since July, but am meeting with my trainer on Tuesday and keeping up with PT. I spent yesterday with friends from growing up. We have an annual wiffleball tournament that is all eating and drinking, from early in the morning til late at night, and I had a huge "lightbulb" moment. (Think 120+ people with a bonfire, food tables and a farm!) I cannot believe how much more I enjoyed the party without the push of needing to eat everything offered. I'm still single (but dating up a storm!) so I didn't bring anyone with me....however, an old friend brought a few of her friends and I really enjoying getting to know one of them. I realize now how different life is without my ex. The winter was a truly transformative time, when I realized he was not the "man" I thought him to be, but a boy playing a role....I am still stunned to hear about his past and who he apparently really is. He has a criminal past and has tried to cut back his visitation with his two young boys. (After being with all of my friends' kids for the day, I can't imagine how any parent could do that....) Everything truly does happen for a reason. I'm facing challenges and doing things I never imagined I'd do. I hate running still, but I LOVE the challenge of getting to the finish line and of wanting to better my time with each race. There will be more when the weather cooperates and my knee heals. If not for my leaving my ex, this life would not have been possible. Thank you all for your encouragement. I shared with you things I never could have told my family or friends. (Incidentally, I've finally started telling people that I was banded!) I have learned to love being single and living alone. I am truly a better person for having had this experience. I'm still single and not any closer to being married BUT I'm enjoying being me....finding what makes ME happy and spending time with the people I love. When Mr. Right comes along, I'll be ready.

I have to say....I doubt if ANY of us would be ok with the group's standard of 40-60% excess weight lost is a success. I'm so done with that. Dr. R told me at my appointment last November that I was a success and wanted to refer me to a plastic surgeon. Since then I'm down another 45 pounds or so....Seriously....I'm only 25 pounds away from NORMAL for the first time in my life. I've never been so close. Why would I ever be ok with that?! I'm at 79% according to their numbers.....my doctor thinks I'm done. I figure if I'm gonna do 79%, why not go for 100%?! Too many times in the past year he's suggested PS. I've been avoiding seeing him just because of that!

I think you've just given yourself some advice, my darling.:scared2: I hope you don't think I'm being snide or tactless....but re-read the advice you gave MsDollaz. Don't stress over your fill level. (Heck, I never even knew how much was in my band til you all asked, so I asked my surgeon!) Let the tool do its work and work with it. You'll get there. Look carefully at the behavioral and dietary changes you've made. There must be something that needs to be tweaked. I know that my "diet" isn't what it should be. It's why I have been in the same range for nearly 6 months. If I'm going to lose the last 25, then something is going to have to change......when I'm ready, I'll do it. Don't fixate on the fill amount. As you know, just having your fill removed and replaced sometimes makes a difference. Keep at it. You've come really far. You'll get there! :tt1:

Remember, you'll never feel the same "Full" again----you're looking to no longer be hungry! The reason we've been fat is because we eat too much, until we're full. Eating is to keep us from being hungry, not to be full.....

I finally felt like a meeting was worthwhile for the first time in a long time! I'm so pleased that there were so many experienced people at the meeting. Thank you for those of you who came and told us about your experience! It was a welcomed change to finally be focused on post-surgery and behavioral changes! Tova, hope we'll see you next time, too! Glad to hear you made it to NY and back without any issues! :thumbup:

Tova, Are you going on Tuesday?

Like Jachut said earlier, I often have difficulty eating initially if I haven't eaten for a few hours. I have found that I do better if I slowly drink a few glasses of Water a bit before my meal AND if I start with a bite of something small, but eat it very slowly. I have a harder time eating if it's been a few hours since I've last eaten. With that said, I've learned something tremendously important through this process---while you may not feel "full" as you did pre-banding, remember that the entire purpose of eating is to satisfy hunger, not to feel overstuffed. We spent so many years stuffing ourselves to the point of feeling sick to our stomachs. We need to re-think the purpose of eating. We need to fuel our bodies, not our heads. Eat until you're no longer hungry. DON'T expect to ever get that same full feeling you used to get on Thanksgiving. If you do, you've entirely negated the purpose of the band!!

Anyone planning on attending the support group this month? If so, which one/when? :frown:

They are 2 different women with a common name.

Ok, it's been nearly 2 months since I last posted. I since had an unfill of that entire fill and ran one more 5K. This time, I waited until the 5K was OVER before going back for another fill. I had a .5CC fill on Monday and now feel great. I have some restriction, but not so much that I'm uncomfortable. I haven't really eaten much in the way of solids yet, but I have that great feeling that I had when I originally was banded---of the food moving down slowly, like when the water drains from the tub! I have really struggled with losing weight in the past few months. I'd like to think I can drop the other 35 I want to lose, but the scale isn't working with me. I'm hoping this fill will help. I'm also going to cut back on the running and lifting this summer and play more with the kids at my camp. :biggrin: Good luck to all of you. eyezchu22, even with struggles, I wouldn't trade my decision to be banded for the world. I love my band. It has helped me change my life in ways I never thought possible! Good luck to you! :redface: Paige