notateechanow

Am headed to the gym now and hoping to make it there on time. I'll apologize in advance if I don't get to shower.... :biggrin:

Thanks, Skini!:eek: I honestly don't know how he feels. He treats me like a best friend, with respect and kindness. He's just a great guy. But, with that said, I certainly know it's possible to love without being in love. Our relationship is without passion most of the time, but that could also be due to my telling him I'm leaving. I think even the strongest of people prepare themselves emotionally by pulling back... On that note, I've been looking at a few apartment complexes and am trying to stay focused on the excitement of moving, buying furniture, etc. For the first time I finally get to choose what I like.....I've been saving money for the past year (presumably for a little nip/tuck) but I don't need that yet and will buy everything and anything my heart desires to decorate my new place and make it my home. We leave for Aruba early Saturday morning. I think it's going to be hard for us to go to a place where we've traveled in the past when things were different between us, but I'm keeping an open mind. I'm just so excited to hit the beach for the next 5 days! Thanks for your encouragement. Rather than being unnerved by this thing as the date to leave nears, I'm actually feeling less overwhelmed. That's definitely a good sign.

Oh, ain't THAT the truth......

That's exactly what I worry about. I'm not in any position to have kids just yet....I live a very selfish life. I make great money and have a very stable job. But, I'm not ready to give my time up for even having a dog, let alone a child. I also want a stable relationship. I don't aspire to be a single parent. I have worked in the inner-city schools for over 10 years now and have seen first hand how hard it truly is. I know many people have done so successfully, but I doubt I would be one of them! I know I would be a great mother. I've certainly raised other peoples' children for so many years, but I'm just not ready to do so yet. So here's the bottom line---I'm not ready to give up on my chances of having kids; however, staying with my bf may take that opportunity from me. I can't say that I'm ok with that, and I don't ever want to be able to point my finger at someone else and blame him for my situation. I am in control of my life. I care too much for him than to become a bitter ex. People never regret chances they take, only those that they allow to pass them by..... Only time will tell if I've made the right choice. I'm ready to make a move. November 1st may come sooner than I'm ready, but I'll have to tackle this somehow. Thanks for your thoughts.

Thank you, Stacie. :tongue: I really appreciate your thoughts.

Tova, Did you ever have months that you didn't lose weight? Is 5-6 pounds a month an average for you? I have had almost 2 months without loss now. I don't feel like a fill will do it. I'm hoping my body is just re-adjusting and will finally kick in and work the way it's supposed to....but boy, oh boy, it's frustrating.

So I had my un-fill last week. I was worried that removing an entire CC was a little too aggressive, but I had a huge lunch today and it felt GREAT! I had a salad with grilled chicken at this great place in Beacon Hill. I think what was best was having to take more than half of it home--not because I got stuck, but because I had enough and wanted to finish it later. No issues with the veggies or the chicken! I'm finally weaning myself off of the icecream....now that I can eat and keep down real food, I've finally gotten myself back on track. NOW, if only I could lose a few pounds..... How's everyone else faring??

Gracie, you may not have lost as much weight as I have, but I have twice as much still to go!! You're doing great. I'm about half way to goal and feeling ok with that. However, I've been fighting the plateau for nearly 2 months now. I'm fighting back by eating more veggies and following my old Weight Watchers plan, but with more protein. Good luck!

Thank you all for your thoughtful responses! For whatever reason, I don't feel like I can talk with my close friends and family about this just yet...and having you all reinforce my belief that it's time to move on has really been quite uplifting. I guess I just worry that I'm making a huge mistake. I have no doubt that I love my boyfriend, but staying with him and wanting to move forward isn't just unfair to me, it's unfair to put him in a no-win situation, too. I do appreciate the positive things you all said. Thank you. I feel far more confident knowing that I no longer need to second guess myself. It's hard to pick up and move on from someone who has been so wonderfully supportive and who has helped me grow immensely during our time together. All of my former relationships have ended in the way you said, Tap, with bitterness and anger. I don't want my friendship with this man to end. I'm not expecting that things will be exactly the same as they are now, but I think if I can still have him in my life in some capacity, I'll feel better. Again, thank you all for being so supportive. :biggrin:

Congrats, Jodi! That's a great accomplishment. I'd love to be in a size 12! Just as a side note, the 18 W doesn't stand for WIDE. It stands for WOMEN! :thumbup: Women's sizes are roomier through the hips and thighs than Misses sizes. Very funny, though.....

Good luck on your surgery tomorrow! I do have to admit that I've been tremendously fortunate in my love life. I have certainly had the situations of being used, but did so knowingly. I settled for less than I wanted because I just wanted someone in my life. I've never had a huge issue with self respect--thank you Mom and Dad! I was a college athlete and learned very fast about how those "men" treated the women they dated very early in my dating career. I think that's why I was never wiling to put up with it. I am also fortunate to have a lot of male friends and a brother close to my age who would never allow me to allow myself to be used. I think if I were being used now I'd feel differently. I'd be ok with leaving. I just don't want to make a huge mistake and cut loose a man who has been so selfless in helping me regain control of my life......

I know during my pre-op meetings that someone, somewhere along the line talked about how our relationships change after banding. I didn't listen (though clearly I should have!) because I denied that it could ever apply to me. My boyfriend of nearly 3 years has been so utterly supportive of me in this venture. He is a great man and I love him with all of my heart. The problem? He's not looking to get married. I'm not getting any younger, and at some point I realized that I need to move on. It's something I've tossed around in my mind (and yes, discussed with him, too!) for almost a year now. I'm not a neophyte with relationships. I've had a lot of long term boyfriends, but have thus far never been married. I am not sure I want to have children, but at 36 and moving toward 37 soon, I realize my time to have kids is nearing an end. I don't want to ever resent being in a relationship with my boyfriend. So...we've decided it's time for me to start the process of moving out. It's over a month away--November 1st. We're still going on our scheduled trip to Aruba for Columbus Day weekend. Crazy? I suppose, but I'm not angry or bitter. He's looking as forward to this trip as I and I don't want to take that away from him. I know I'm not ready to date yet, but I feel this bipolar thing going on. (Not to diminish the actual disorder.....) I am so excited by the prospect of moving out and eventually dating again. I haven't dated at this size since highschool. BUT, every so often I get that deep sadness.....I'm definitely not an outwardly emotional person, but I find myself tearing up at things I'll miss most about being with him. In some strange way, I feel like the band is somewhat to blame for this. My self-confidence has grown immensely since being banded and losing weight. If I didn't have the surgery, I may very well have stayed until it was too late to move on. I do truly love him, but I need to finally put my own aspirations for a husband and family first. Has anyone else ended a relationship after banding? I don't feel comfortable talking about this with my close friends because none know I've been banded. My boyfriend is one of the only people I confided in.......Please tell me I'm doing the right thing by moving on. I've never felt so full of doubts in my life!!!:thumbup:

Donna, are you referring to edamame? I just want to warn anyone who may have issues with the thyroid about that---the soy Protein will affect your absorption of thyroid meds. Whether you're on synthroid or levoxyl, be sure to wait a few hours before having any soy products.

I already had one when I went to that site! It turns out it's the same program used by Lands' End for their site. It's also really helpful when choosing particular styles of clothes. Very cool!!!

Well, LaChica, I couldn't do that any longer. I had another cc removed last week by my surgeon. He wasn't happy to hear that my diet regularly included a Protein shake or two per day because solids were nearly impossible. I've finally been able to eat meat again!! I feel like I can eat just about anything that I want, but did have a bad afternoon with a few grape tomatoes today. I am finally able to eat properly again...but I worry I'm over eating. I haven't gained and it's been a week. I haven't lost, but hey...I wasn't losing when I couldn't eat, either! I hope that eating properly and having solids again will get me back on track. YOU NEED to start exercising again!!! I took a few days off because I wasn't feeling well, but I had to get back into the routine before I got too comfortable. You KNOW that you'll be more successful (and healthy) by working out and moving again. GET GOING! No excuses on this one.....it'll just get worse when winter comes. SO get moving soon, LaChica!!! Success will come when you work the band AND workout. Without doing both, you're wasting valuable time and energy. You deserve to be successful. You've been doing this for over 9 months now, but you KNOW that you won't be as successful if you aren't exercising. No more excuses. Your 2 month hiatus should end today!!!

I wish I had old clothes to get back into!! I haven't been this size since high school. (nearly 20 years ago now....) I think it speaks more to how much weight I gained after high school, rather than how much weight I've lost. I've just been carrying it for so darned long...... To put it into perspective, I finally got into the smallest stuff in my closet--acid washed jeans with ZIPPERS at the ankles, dropped waisted dresses with huge bows and big shoulder pads, etc. The clothes I've had are so far outdated that I just can't wear them. Cerrin, the reality is that as long as you lose the weight permanently, wouldn't you be ok with it taking several years? I'm so happy to just be losing weight. I know I'm not losing it as fast as the other people on this website, but I also know I'm doing this in a sensible way that will allow me to be healthy. We've all accomplished so many different things in our lives and none of us has taken the same path as anyone else to get to that point. Why should weightloss be any different?! Congrats on finally getting rid of the baggy pants. They simply aren't becoming! Buy yourself one new thing to celebrate. You'll be surprised at what a difference wearing clothes that fit properly can make!!! Congrats again. :smile:

I'm headed to the doctor now--actually, am in the waiting room! I haven't been able to eat most raw veggies or more than a one inch square piece of meat in a long time. I try, but it comes right back at me. So it's not just that I make bad food choices, I'm pushed to eat whatever goes down---usually high in sodium Soup, mashed potatoes, etc. Nothing of any nutritional value. Cerrin, I'll let you know what my surgeon says today! :smile:

Oh, darling...don't be so hard on yourself. You'll have many more slip ups to come. We wouldn't be fat if we were perfect.:cool2:

Hey there, Heidi. Only 4 more days! How are you doing? Are you ready???:girl_hug:

I'm scheduled for a "fill" on Tuesday, but haven't had a fill since May. I had a small un-fill in the end of July, and now that I've really been thinking about it...maybe I don't need a fill to get me to lose weight again. I think I actually need more taken out. I've been reflecting on what I've been eating and realized that I'm eating the semi-solids on a regular basis, rather than eating good foods. I think that maybe I'll have more potential to lose weight if I get myself back on track and eating a square meal than getting a fill. Is anyone else struggling with whether or not to get a fill? I'm just so baffled by this whole band thing. I don't know anyone who can truly tell me what the proper fill should feel like--my surgeon tries, but he's never really felt it. He's just giving me 2nd hand info. I've been pushing the same 5 pounds up and back for about a month despite working out and--I thought--eating well. I'm getting enough Protein and enough calories....but I'm hungry about an hour or 2 after I'm finished eating. I think it may be because I haven't had the ability to eat the volume I need to truly keep me satiated. Help!! Does this sound likely? (Incidentally, it's now my TOM and I can't keep anything down. I'm definitely now down those 5 I've been struggling with....) Suggestions, ideas, etc. would be greatly appreciated. I have my appointment on Tuesday morning but haven't been in since end of July. Thanks in advance! :girl_hug:

Sorry to see that your support group meeting wasn't positive. I certainly hope you weren't one we scared off!!! I have found that this website offers far more than my support group meetings, but still attend because I think (and hope) that the more support, the better. Good luck in getting a surgery date. I appreciate all of the things you said for goals, but particularly the size 12. I think I wore a size 10 in 4th grade.....not sure I'll ever get down to a 12, but here's to dreaming.

Welcome, Tova! Great to "see" you made it here! I really enjoyed meeting you tonight and hope to be able to continue to use you as my guide and advisor! Thanks for giving us hope! :thumbup:

Sometimes when I mention how hard I've been hitting the gym the doctor is more likely to give me a fill......A few times he was in doubt because I was losing the 1-2 pounds a week, but with working out over an hour 6 days a week.....2 weeks isn't that bad though. You'll get there! Good luck. Keep up the good work.

Wow, Shelly, 99 pounds?! That's amazing! Congratulations!!!

Any women need clothes for a fall/winter vacation? I have a bunch of clothes--mostly 18's and a few small 20's that I'd love to pass off to someone. (Some are barely used, others still in good condition or I wouldn't pass them along!) I gave so much to charity already, and since they're technically out of season, I can't give my charity shorts, capris, and skorts. I also have 2 fall/winter coats, both a size 3X. If you're interested in meeting up somewhere and taking them off my hands, please let me know. I don't want to mail as they're far too heavy! Let me know if you're interested! :wink_smile: