Twilight

Okay Denise. What was so great about that? Are you doing it? You have my curiosity peaked!!! Tell more! Now....I want to say AWESOME for you! As fat people we let way too many people walk all over us day after day. We didn't like ourselves and thought we deserved it. We DESERVE respect and common courtesy. If you aren't getting that you MUST stand up for yourself and never back down. I say bravo!!!!!! Now the question I have for you is, do you feel powerful because of it? Sometimes I feel like I'm turning into assert-a-bitch these days and I need to step down. When I'm logical I don't think that is true, but when I'm emotional and not thinking quite so clearly I think it is. No matter, you did a great thing by standing up for yourself. I'm very proud of you!!!! KUDOS

I tell you, I love it! You can pick it up and read it for 5 minutes and then put it back down. It fits in the glove box so if you're out and about you can look at it. I do think they focus more on fat and not enough on the other stuff....but that's just me. Well.. gotta run. if you all have a chance, say a yippeeeee!!! Kids are done and I will be tomorrow!!!!!!! Bu-by now

Kate, My husband is very overweight. I begged. I pleaded. I talked til I was blue in the face. I gave him every reason. I want him to be able to play ball with the kids. I want him to be around for their graduations. I don't want to worry everyday that I'll get "the call." I couldn't afford to live without him. His kids needed him. I even found out how we could afford it and penciled it out for him. Trust me. I tried it all. Nothing worked. I've not given up. I've put it on hold and if he comes to the choice on his own then I will support him completely. Men can't be given all those reasons. They need to come to it on their own. It was that way with my father, is with my brother, my two sons, and it is DEFINITELY that way with my husband. It's only a good idea if they come up with it. He has all the pro's in front of him. He is living my success. I mention it to him a couple times a month to see if he's thinking about it and then I drop it. It's got to be his decision. As for "the band will work for everyone." Maybe I'm reading something into your post that I shouldn't, but the band will NOT work for everybody. If your not ready for it, you will eat around it. You have to make a commitment to your band. You have to do 80% of the work. If you're still going to eat the junk, drink the soda, not exercise, the band will not make you thin. That's a huge commitment you're going to have to make. He shouldn't take it lightly. As I said, maybe I read what you said incorrectly. If so I'm sorry. I agree with an above poster that said, "write the letter, just don't mail it." Often we need to express the emotions. We just need to get it out. That doesn't mean he needs to read it. And if you want to write it all down as many letters to him, he may find it wonderful if/after he comes to the decision to lose the weight....whatever method he chooses. My advice to you would be to encourage. Talk about the great new foods you are trying now. New recipes that he might like. Talk about the benefits your finding in drinking all your Water. Tell him about your gym successes. If he's close enough, ask him to walk or work out with you. Set up an exercise challenge with him. If he is actually trying to change his habits, set up a reward system with him where he does something special for you when you achieve a goal and you do something for him when he achieves his. Share the benefits you're seeing in losing weight. ... like sleeping better, feet not hurting, less back aches, better blood work. Odds are that your successes will strike a chord with him even if they are things he hasn't shared with you. If he truly is the strong stoic type he's keeping a lot of worry inside and not sharing it with anyone. He will take your words in and start putting it all together. He'll get there. Maybe not to the banding decision but hopefully it will open up the communication avenue and he will get involved and excited...he may even open up to you. Just make it about you for now and eventually he will make it about him. Those would be my 12 cents....inflation you know....

Super job sghatl!!! Live it up and enjoy the new you! That is a huge milestone to achieve. Do something awesome to Celebrate it. What is your next big goal?

It looks like you had a wonderful time Chris!!! I'm glad you made it back. Wish we had all those fish here in Mt. for dinners. I'm learning to like a few different fish dishes. Not a huge selection of ocean fish out here but what I've tried I've enjoyed. Share your experiences. I'm so jealous. I'd love to do a cruise. I'll have to wait until kids grow up though.

Glad you didn't have to wait all the way until 2:30. That would have killed me. Today was my last day lunch. They do a special meal for everyone leaving. This year it is 3 seniors and 3 teachers. I chose taco salad, watermelon, creamed cucumbers and cinnamon swirl bread. Before you jump, the requirements are protein, veggie, fruit, bread, if you want dessert. I can't give up creamed cucumbers and refuse to even try. I ate too much and shouldn't have. I just couldn't stop. Some days I really wonder if there is a band in there. I chewed really well and all so I didn't get stuck, but I wonder if I shouldn't have been able to eat that much. Drinking tea now. My water consumption has been very low the last few days. I need to up it a lot. I won't give excuses....just write myself a ticket. Is everyone else doing well with their water????? Gotta run. Awards night.

Great job you guys. You should be very excited! A whole new us and it hasn't even been 6 months! You're all doing great! Having a stressful, not eating exactly great week. Last week of school and too much to do. So far it hasn't been hitting the scales so I must be getting it off somehow. Who knows. Okay...gotta run. Have a great rest of the week!!!

Good morning 7's!!! Back for another round of semester tests. Oh yippee!!! However, I rode my bike to school and my saddle bags don't have room for my laptop so I don't have it today. My desktop faces away from the kids so I will not be on much today. Besides I have hours and hours of work to do. I should be doing it anyways! I'm procastinating. We got some of our testing scores back yesterday. The ones that don't count of course :wink2:) My freshmen all scored grade equivalency of 13+. My 8th grade wasn't quite so hot but my 7th grade are all above grade level too. That is pretty awesome! The state testing results won't be back until after school starts this summer I don't think, but I'm impressed with what the kids have done. On those days when I worry that I'm not reaching some of them, these days help. Besides the fact that I am leaving PeeWee a really tough act to follow! At least I know that the kids are prepared for him. Karri, I don't know how you can fast that long. I would be DYING!!! You'll be in my thoughts today. Sorry you couldn't go in first thing this morning. I've always done my fasting while sleeping. I sleep in and then go have my blood drawn as soon as I get out of the shower. The big downfall for you will be not getting any calories in, being hungry when you are done, and then because you are hungry, eating too fast and sticking. Be careful this evening. I'll be thinking of you. Phyl, that outfit may be baggy, but it is very flattering to your face. I think it looks wonderful. The color is great on you. Don't worry. You will find wonderful clothes for the spring and summer. I'm sending my shopping god's to your shoulders. They are always sitting on mine. I could use some days where I find absolutely NOTHING to buy. So you take them. Use them wisely however, they can become addicting. Return them when we meet you on the train. I will want them back for that trip. Ruby and Janet, I'll send some cold your way. When I rode my bike down this morning I really wanted to wimp out ten miles into it. I was FREEZING. I'm sitting here in front of my space heater trying to warm up. It really wasn't all that cold but at 70mph the wind chill is a @#$#$. My fingers are finally working again however. Tonight will be fine. Supposed to be mid 70's. That's JUST RIGHT. Well...kids are turning in tests....gotta go correct them. Have a great day everyone. Don't forget your water!!!!

Phyl!!! They are beautiful! And so is Grandma! You may be frustrated at the slow scale but I can see a difference even from your avatar....and you ARE wearing the same shirt so it is a legit comparison. How proud you must be of your family. And of yourself. Happy Happy DaY!!!!

Karri, your nut sounds like a nut....the screwy kind!!!! I would say it may be time to find a different nut. Have you talked to a trainer at the gym? Maybe they need to have their head examined before they give out any advice. I think setting a healthy goal, like running a marathon in a year, is amazing, healthy, and entirely realistic. Your body has been through a lot in a year but it's not like it has been cancer or a car accident or something. People all the time come through those catastrophies and go on to some pretty amazing things....in a couple years' time. I don't think you are doing anything crazy. I guess I understand the PS not wanting to send your body into shock and all I have to go by is what I've seen on tv, but they took off a ton of skin on some of those people on big medicine. I would guess that your body would be better prepared for the surgery and you would have better muscle tone to build on if you continue to work out. But again, not a doctor. Good luck with your nutty nut. Mine pushes exercise, exercise, exercise every month at our meeting, so I think your is just nutty! Maybe we should call her Squirrel.

Points taken. Thank you all for putting me back in line. You all said things that made so much sense. I guess they will think I'm skinny. Oh well. I am feeling so much better that the number on the scale is secondary anymore. I like the way I'm beginning to look in clothes. My feet don't hurt when I walk anymore. My aches and pains are from exercising and they make me smile now. I did do this to become healthy. Skinny (and I can't help it, I want to be skinny Ruby. I think it's a beautiful word) is just a bi product of the journey. As for my mom. I love the fact she is doing something to improve herself. I think it's funny that she sees herself as fat after looking at me for the last 20 years, but whatever. We all know that body image is in the eye of the beholder. I wish she wanted to get healthy instead of thinner. She wants to fit in a size of jeans, not be able to play with her grandkids. She wants to not have to buy new panties, instead of wishing she didn't huff and puff when she goes up the stairs. I guess I'm just not saying it right. I WANT her to be healthy and however she gets there is great. For the last couple of years, since my dad died, she really didn't care much about her health. But my reasons for doing this aren't her reasons. Whatever I believe is MY belief, and I can't force it on her. Now....Karri, you should celebrate the weight. You were really worried about upping your goal weight and it really bothered you. Now you won't be able to say that it was just the TT. It was YOU. You did it! Celebrate it. Your body will adjust to whatever you are throwing at it. Don't panic if you're under 150. I'm sure the PS will be able to do just fine with that. Denise, you can make it through this week. You don't have to kill her. I know the desire, but stay strong. Just paraphrase Jesus, "Forgive her, for she knows not what she does." It's one week. Phyl and Janet, about the scallops. I bought some and they are in the freezer. I want to cook them but don't know what to serve with them. Can I grill them and how do I know when they are done. I keep reading "don't over cook them" but how will I know? Do they go well with fruit? Could I kabob them with mushrooms and peppers and pineapple? Suggestions? I'm a grilling fiend when it's nice and will grill 5 nights a week now. Okay....lunch. Half done, only half more to go! Have a great day 7's

Good morning 7's!!! I had a great day yesterday. Rode over 200 miles! That was my first big ride and I guess I did it up big. Before that 15 miles was my max. My tailbone hurt by the end though. Holey Hannah I almost cried trying to sit through graduation. Last year when I bought my bike the seat was nice and cushy. Yesterday I realized that it wasn't the seat that was cushy, it was my butt! It's not so cushy anymore. We're talking about getting me a better (read bigger) bike. I don't know, I like mine, it just doesn't have a lot of power. The zoloft must really be working because I didn't even cry through the graduation. I usually sit there and bawl. It really is sad though. I'll miss my pipsqueaks. Can I have a bit of a meltdown here though? This is going to sound very irrational but I need to get it out and my DH just isn't going to get it. My mom was here, as you know for a few weeks. She has always been small. When she had her restaurant we actually worried about her getting too small. At one point she was shopping in the children's section (she is also very short). Well so she was all hung up on my weight loss. But also very hung up on her weight gain. Now for my mom, at 4' 11" and 130 pounds, I just rolled my eyes. I told her about tracking her meals and seeing that she is eating well and balancing out her nutrition. I thought that was important because she can eat one meal of eggs and toast a day. anyway.... Last night she calls and asks about daily plate and I gave her the address again and she says she walked a mile and how excited she was and now she's looking into joining a gym. Great for her, I'm really excited about it, but a little concerned that she thinks a size 8 is fat. But then I talked to my BIL and he says "I hear your getting really skinny." uhhh....no???? What has my mom told them? What are they expecting? I'm proud of me but what if they think I'm going to be skinny when I get out there at the end of the week. I have this crazy fear that they are going to look at me and think, "So what's the big deal? She's still fat!" I wanted to go out next week and everyone be proud of me and now I think they are expecting something I'm not. Now how are they going to be happy? I know that there is no way they won't be excited to see me down almost 60 pounds, but I really think they are expecting something I'm not. See....completely irrational. grrrrr. I hate it when I'm irrational. And as irrational as it is, I can't get it out of my head. I dreamed about it last night. How stupid is that? Okay....semester tests today so I'll be online quite a bit today. I have to sit very quiet and still. So I'll correct tests but other than that, surf the net. Have a great day 7's. See you in a bit.

Good evening 7's!!!! Hope you are all having a great weekend. DH and I had a funeral this morning and then when I came home I wasn't feeling well so I spent some time on th couch. Now that I'm feeling a little more human we are going on a motorcycle ride. I'm trying to decide if I'm up to driving tomorrow on our 150 mile loop. I am afraid I won't enjoy riding behind him for that long but not sure I'm up for the drive. I just don't know. Tomorrow is graduation and then semester test time. I'm going to be out of my classroom on Thursday so that PeeWee Herman can move in. I hope he enjoys it. Wednesday I am hosting a bbq at my house for any of my students and the faculty that want to come. I said I would supply burgers and dogs and they could bring everything else. I doubt there will be too many but who knows. The might surprise me. Well...sounds like DH is firing up his bike. I better run. Have a great night and enjoy the rest of the weekend.

I agree with Peaches. You are now a luxury model!!! A sports coupe per se. I know you don't like to put "garbage" in but have you tried the protein powder stuff to add to things. body builders use it so it can't be too awful??? Another thought I had was what about adding juices to your liquid side? Drinking a couple v8's or something might be easier than eating even MORE food. I don't have ideas for calorie dense foods though. If I think of something I'll mention it. Everything I come up with seems to be milk based or bad for us stuff. I'll keep thinking though... Okay, back to the muck out of the classroom. I have collected way too much stuff to have only been here 6 years. I have a good 3 car loads to take out of here. And I'm not leaving a damned thing for snot-nose. He gets the furniture!

Morning all. Just a quick check in. I've been busy busy this morning and have a ton more to do. I will check in and out. Janet, I would be lost without my laptop. It is like an extension of my body. I can't watch tv without it (my adhd). It sits on my desk, it sits on my lap. I don't even go to the den to do any work. It is where ever I am. Phyl, getting back up and running is such a pain in the butt. I spilled coffee in mine last year and was without for about 2 weeks. We bought a external thing to read my old laptop's drive and transferred that way. It was SOOOO much easier. Karri, you didn't check in. Hope the kids didn't suck you back into their pit of life drain. They can do that you know! Especially at this time of year. Hope your training is going well. Peaches, we missed you. Glad you checked back in. Linda, can I come too???? I'll just call you calgon. Take me away!!!! Okay. I'd better run. Lots to do. Hope your water intake is going well!

Good afternoon ladies. The stress of the year is making me crack. I want to strangle most of the kids and those I don't want to strangle I want to do worse to. I have semesters to write, papers to grade, reviews to build, and I don't want to do any of it. I missed my son's spring concert today because there was no way I could get out of school for it. My mom is leaving tomorrow and I should go home and spend the evening with her instead of here but I really do need to stay. And the sweets are getting the better of me. I will walk tonight and work off the calories and stay under for the total, but honestly once I let it touch my lips I'm sunk for awhile. My willpower goes out the window. I have to crack down and get back on track. It's crazy because I've been getting tons of complements this week and I feel great, and I fit into smaller sizes and I love all of that....and still I sabotage myself. How stupid is that? I need to really sit down and think about why I'm doing this and get a grip on it, but right now I need to do 8 other things to. grrrr....and still here I sit typing this out instead of getting some of that done. How stupid is that? Okay....logging off until late tonight. I hope you all got your water in today. Water patrol does NOT want to have to start writing tickets. I have too much to do. Take that off my hands and behave yourselves please.

Are things starting to feel better by now? What a horrible ordeal to have to go through. I hope your next months go much easier on you.

Do you feel like you need a fill? Are your portions staying under a cup? How's your Water intake? I know you said you are doing it all right, but we'd sure love to help. Have you tried tracking your intake on a tracker like dailyplate.com ? It helped me a ton to see where I was putting all my calories and at the end of the day where they actually added up. It also helped motivate me to start walking. What does your team say about your loss? Are they any help at all? Sure would like to help you. Let us know what we can do.

I had another fill yesterday. PA seemed amazed that I wasn't getting stuck or having trouble with any food. She said I must be following the rules pretty well because most people would be having problems. I think she's crazy, but okay.... I'm down another 6 pounds last month and I won't be going back for 2 months. I'm down to medium tops and size 14ish pants. I'm also only 5 pounds shy of being overweight! I can't wait!!!!! By the end of the month I'm going to be "just fat!"

Hi all. Completely un-lapband-related rant!!!! I hate my replacement!!!! He's an @$$!!! How dare he come into my classroom and act like what I'm doing is not right? Who the h-e-double hockeysticks does this boy think he is? He graduated from college LAST WEEK!!!! Tell me how my classroom could run better. Tell me how he is going to change this that and the other thing because it would be much more efficient. Ask me how soon I can be out of my classroom! Tell me that kids these days need to know technology and how important it is. Quiz me over the math I know! Who the @#$% does he think he is?????? He subbed for me yesterday and didn't correct a bleaping thing. Even after I set out the answer keys and told him how to do it. Just leaves a freaking stack for me to correct. And then when I say something about hating correcting papers he tells me that I should be thankful I'm in a small school then because if I wasn't..... Uh....HE JUST GOT HIS FREAKING DEGREE LAST WEEK! HE ISN'T EVEN FLIPPING CERTIFIED YET!!!! Okay...don't get me wrong. I am not the best teacher in the world. I have a lot to learn and daily tell myself what I can do better. But to have some snot nosed, still wet behind the ears, lives at home and his mommy cooks him dinner, wears his jeans like a16 year old hanging down to his knees, boy tell me what I'm doing wrong is just insulting! Kids these days really need to learn their place. I want to cry. I want to shoot him. I want to pee in all the corners of my classroom so he knows it's MY territory. I want to eat a great big tub of frosting. Sugar it out of me. However, I have a bunch of grading to do and 5 semester tests to write, so I will just sit here and fume. Someone just shoot me!!!!

good morning ladies!!!! Not too bad of a morning so far. My sub didn't correct any papers but that's not too surprising. I guess I should be miffed. He's going to be my replacement so he should have been able to grade papers for crying out loud!!! Oh well. Nothing I can't handle. Woke up this morning not hungry hungry. That's a first. I ate half a serving of kashi instead of a whole. DH didn't make coffee this morning so took a bottle of water instead. Got about half down before I got to school. ... now trying to get coffee down. A little slow going. Maybe I have real restriction this time. I just hope that I get my water in. I've been so good about that and now I might just flop. Oh...confession time. Last night I updated my calories for the day and only had 500 in and had burned almost 200 of those with my morning workout. So....I talked dh into going to DQ. Seemed fair since I hadn't eaten anything all day. Bad bad bad!! At least I didn't pb on it though....sorry Ruby. I got a caramel/marshmallow sundae. Small. Only ate about 1/3 of it though. Go ahead. Chew, chew chew!!! I deserve all the scoldings I get. Fat me took over for awhile and I should have told her to take a hike. Just because I have calories to spend doesn't mean I have to spend them!!!! It didn't even taste that good....hence only eating 1/3 of it. Stupid me!!!! I could have drank my fusion. I could have had another cup of protein cocoa. But no, I have to binge!!!! Okay....running and ducking for cover! Throw all the tomatoes you want!

Holey CATS!!!!! I just updated my ticker and I am 5 pounds....FIVE...count them...1...2..3...4...5!!!! pounds away from being overweight! From morbidly obese to overweight in less than 6 months!!!! Have I said I love my band lately???? Holey CATS!!!

Had a great day. Down almost 7 pounds this month. Got a slight fill. Hopefully I will not be quite so hungry this month. I showed amazing restraint at the mall. Only bought two shirts....on sale. Oh...and a new purse. But it was also on sale.... I know...shame on me. I just am going nuts with clothes. This feeling good about yourself isn't all it's cracked up to be. Okay....I always seem to get a headache after my fills. Is this normal? Tomorrow I'm sure I'll be fine but the day of is horrible. Maybe it's the total liquid thing. I don't seem to get any calories in. Well....I won't go in again until July so no headache next month. I did walk a mile from my group meeting to the fill appointment today....1 mile. So that was a bonus. Okay....fuzzy head. Going to bed. See you all in the morning.

Jackie, you dealt with that so well. You should feel really great about it. It was rational, natural, and firm. I am very impressed. I hope you feel much better after dealing with clients and a nice dinner out with your husband. And great answer about not answering your phone. Kudos to you

This morning I got up and worked out again. I did 10 minute warm up on the treadmill and then 15 minutes again on the elliptical. I think there is something to be said about going to a gym where other people are watching. About half way through my elliptical I was starting to wimp out and thinking "I can't do this, I'll just do 20." And then this couple walks in and one gets on the other elliptical and the other starts running on the treadmill. Oh hell no I'm not giving up. These people aren't going to see some fat wimpy lady on this thing. I'll work! Finished the 30 minutes. Sweating like a pig. Running in my eyes. Rolling down my back. It was gross!!!! But I did it. And then I did 5 minutes to cool down on the treadmill. That was pretty exciting I think. I'm really thinking seriously about the elliptical. It was a hell of a workout! I'll see what I feel like next month.