Twilight

Thanks ladies for your words of encouragement. I have to remember that he really is a good kid at heart. It was he and I for 6 years and I really miss that bond that we had. It is just very difficult when you're in the heat of the moment. Deep down there is that wonderful kid. We just have to get him into therapy and on the right meds. It is amazing the difference the right meds have made for me so I know it will be night and day when we get that figured out. Okay....gotta get cleaning. Company starts arriving tomorrow and I lost yesterday..... Later ladies

Hi ladies. It's been a long day. Started at 5am and it's really gotten to me. I'm sorry my story about my pcp got you down. He really is a butthead most days. If he wasn't such a good pcp I would dump him.....but he is so up on so many things. I don't think he is right about my surgery, but it aggrivates me that he won't give me a chance. He did say that what little he knows about it, it makes much more sense than RnY. Phyl, glad to see you pop in. I understand the struggle to get online while you're away. It's just not the same when you're using someone else's computer. Glad you are keeping up with us on your blackberry. You don't have to be strong with food all the time while you are there. Just remember to figure it in to your calorie budget. (like I should talk about budgeting after the MoA trip) When I go somewhere where I will be tempted over and over, I try to fill up on the better stuff. Can you start with salads and then not have the room for as much of the other stuff? I know sometimes that isn't an option and other times it just doesn't seem like a good idea. Today was a horrible food day for me, so don't think I'm not sympathetic. Filed in your forgettory!!!! I've never heard that before but I LOVE IT!!!!! Talk about make me laugh! That is hilarious! Now onto the megabitch issue. When we are struggling is when we need each other most. Don't think you shouldn't come here and say what you need to say. And you can always preface the comments with "I'm in a mood today, so forgive me if this sounds harsh...." I find that when I'm in those moods is when what I say tends to give me more insight than others....after the fact. It's like I'm really talking to myself. Maybe that doesn't make any sense....sorry...now I think I'm rambling. Glad you are back though. Tell Flo to hit the road...she's worn out her welcome this month and to come back and visit when she plans on being a little nicer! Okay....now, kidlet's appointment went alright...follow up with dr. didn't....but that's another story...then we just got a phone call from a parent because he's being a bully at the pool....WILL IT EVER END???? I have a lot to process so I'm going to be quiet while I'm trying to get it all straight in my head. I'll be around for an hour or so. I'll talk to you all later. Have a great Wednesday ladies.

Anna, You can do this! I know it feels like you are under an immense pile of pressure. Don't let this stress be the "excuse" you give for not succeeding. During all these stresses, taking care of yourself is crucial. Taking a 30 minute exercise break, taking 15 minutes to journal your food and count your calories, 5 minutes 4 times a day to fill your Water bottle. None of it is huge in time or energy, but all is gigantic in benefits. I was banded 8 months ago. I have 3 kids, 1 teen, a 4 year old, and a 1 year old. I am dealing with mental issues in myself as well as my eldest. I lost my dad to cancer within 6 weeks of his diagnosis a couple years ago. I know it is all crazy. I know it all seems insurmountable. By taking those few times a day to yourself you will not only be doing what you need to succeed with your band, but you will be taking some stressless time for yourself too. It will be great for your mental health. If you need anything more, let us know. We are here to help. If you need more talk, pm me. I'm here almost every day.

Heart, I don't know if you've found a buddy, but if you're in need of support, advice, or someone to work a challenge with, please let me know. I'm also a December bandster. I'm needing some motivation myself to keep myself going for this last 20 pounds. I feel like I'm losing it. Anything I can do for you, please let me know.

Good evening ladies. Another quiet night I see. And with such wonderful news from our two favorite ladies!!!! One jumping for joy and the other running for it! Janet! I have been on pins and needles hoping you would get good news early. I know how hard it is to just sit back and let the process work. What is the next step? What was it? Are you prone to having more? I just can't believe how relieved I am. I can only imagine how you are feeling. Karri!!! Shame on you! Running 3 days before you were cleared. <wags finger at you while smirking> I'm actually a little surprised you didn't push it a few days before now. You really are a good patient. You do everything by the book. I bet you were an awesome partner in chem labs....no short cuts, no "ah it's good enough." I would have driven you nuts! I probably would have done better in organic though with you around. Probably wouldn't have had to do my labs 3 times each that semester. Just be careful. If it hurts, even a twinge, you need to stop and evaluate. I'm sure it felt amazing though. hmmmm...there was something I was going to say to Linda....I'll have to go back and reread....sorry Linda....let's call it a blonde moment. Candice, I couldn't drink that isopure stuff. It was too strong tasting for me. I'm glad that Karri could help you. I'm glad you enjoyed the weekend. Maybe a day of liquids will help. When I went in to my pcp to have my fingernail removed he asked me a bunch of questions about my band and then gave me some "fatherly" advice which actually made me a little wary. He said that they've been doing bariatric surgery in one form or another for 50 years and they have all been failures. He doesn't know much about this one and hopes they have found something that works better, but he's doubtful. He says I will probably do just fine this year, but after that it's probable that I'll go back to my old ways. It was very depressing. I assured him that I was learning how to eat differently, was exercising, was really changing my behavior and he just glossed over it and re warned me about relapse. I have to say that the only thing that kept me out of the corner crying was that I knew you all would never let that happen. And now you all know my mother....so I'm utterly screwed. Now I'm all down again....dangit!!!! I leave early in the morning with the eldest for a follow up with the child psych. I sure hope he can give me some guidance because I am definitely NOT doing well with him these days. We had a huge blow up last night. I shouldn't have said some of the things I did. He's pushing me past the point I have patience for. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Okay...I'm off for now.

Hoping to push to the top of the 70's this month. I'm so excited to be seeing some people I haven't seen in months. They are definitely shocked with the new me. A friend of my husbands told him the other day that I'm going to have to find myself a hotter husband if I keep it up. Not that he's insecure in the least but it sure does make me feel good. I agree that we need to hear from more of our Merry Losers. Share your numbers everyone!!!!

Good day ladies Please forgive any typo's...I'm really having a problem typing with the bandage on this finger. It makes all my fingers type funny....go figure. I forgot to mention to you guys that mom won 400 at the casino when we went....I lost 30 but that's not bad for almost 3 hours. It was fun...that's all I can say. I'm busy the next few days getting ready for the family reunion. I can't believe I agreed to have it here!!!! What the frick was I thinkin. Schools here start in 2 weeks. I still don't know for sure if I'm teaching, but will find out soon I hope. I'm hoping they hire the guy that applied even though I'm not crazy about him. It's none of my concern as long as they found someone. okay...gotta run. Talk to you later ladies. Have a great day.

I hope you can eat better today. And dangit for messing up your steakdinner like that! I haven't even tried to eat steak yet. I'm sure I won't chew it nearly well enough. Have a better day today.

Oh...forgot. Feeling much better today. Did a ton of yard work, went for a bike ride. Still very tight. Never hungry but always feeling like I should be eating. Damn head hunger. Today, 3/4 kashi oatmeal, 2 cheese sticks, a couple pickles, 2 slices of hard salami (shaved thin), 1 fiber one bar, 3/4 tub of buttered popcorn at the movie. Drinking 1 bottle water, 1 bottle iced tea, 1 bottle crystal lite. Will work on the liquid tomorrow. Just can't seem to get it in. Mowed the lawn (front and back), about 1/2 acre, with push mower, swept and mopped the upstairs....counting it as 1 exercise session...it was hotter than hades out there and I definitely worked up a sweat. Tomorrow I'm going back to walking. Okay...now I'm really going to bed.

Karri!!! I can't believe you are pb'ing liquid. I hope it's just because of the steak. Your pics look amazing. I can't wait to see the clothes on pics. You look absolutely wonderful. I can't believe the transformation in 1 month. Beyond that, I can't believe how your attitude has become so much more positive in the couple months since school got out. I don't think it has anything to do with teaching putting us in a poor state of mind, but you have been so much better and positive about so many things. Your life must just keep getting better and better every day! You are so inspirational to me. Thanks for sharing all of your journey. It has meant so much to me. Okay...better run. Went to the drive in and so it is very very late for me to be checking in. I'll see all you ladies tomorrow. Night.

Well ladies, I went out and tried to have a good time. I made it about an hour and made dh bring me home. So I took a bath and really thought about what is going on with me. I am skeptical. 1. vicodin should not have effected me this harshly....especially 1/2 a dose. 2. I was stung by a wasp 2 days ago while riding my bike....and at 70 mph the stinger went in pretty deep. 3. I also drove past a field they were spraying and drove through a pretty smelly cloud of something. So my thought now is that I've been either herbicided or insecticided. I don't know which but it explains my symptoms more than a bit of vicodin. It explains why my pulse has been a lot slower than normal. It explains the lightheadedness. It also explains why I'm still having problems more than 30 hours after my taking the vicodin. I don't know why I didn't think about it before. I should be feeling better tomorrow or the next day. From what I've read and heard it should be out of my system in the next 48-72 hours. DH is actually relieved. He thought I was too tight and not telling anyone. He wanted to take me to get unfilled. I am NOT that tight. He said it makes more sense and he knows how to deal with those insecticides and herbicides. He's hoping it was herbicide. He says those are not quite as harsh.....but if this is NOT harsh I'd hate to see harsh. Okay...going to run. Talk to you all later.

Mari, it is so nice to have you. Anything that we can do for you, let us know. I have to tell you that this group has been the thing that has kept me going whenever I feel down or frustrated. It keeps me accountable. I don't think I would have been nearly as successful without these wonderful ladies. And one of the nicest things is that we don't only talk about our bands.....we really share our lives. Sorry about the fingernail story. Would hate to scare you off like that. I suppose that was quite a story to step into. Yikes.

Hi ladies. Today is better. I don't know what I was thinking yesterday. I was actually almost comatose until noon today. I finally got some kashi oatmeal in me and that has helped. Im now trying to get some crab salad down. Very very tight though. It is crazy days here today. How nuts is that? I had to go buy some tennies though because I lost one of my shoes on the trip. I didn't have anything to exercise in so it was a must. I think Janet rubbed off on me. At least that's going to be my excuse. Then I went downtown and there was this really cute over jacket for 6 and a shrug for 10 and a pair of jeans for 10...and a pair of capris for 10. The retail on it all was 109.50....so I'm going to say it was a great buy and not feel guilty. I have a birthday party for one of dh's employees in a couple of hours. I've got to get some serious food in me before we do coctails. Who starts a birthday party at a bar at 4pm? It could kill me. I think I'll do 2 waters for each cocktail. And then have dh take me out to dinner about 6. If I can get food in. I sure hope so. Karri, import/export...OMG I laughed. I loved it. That's exactly what you should tell everyone. I hope you enjoyed the movie today! Marivali, I'm confused with your dates....I'm guessing you were banded on July 23rd? It sounds like you've had a terrific year. Good for you. We'd love to have you join us. How can we support you? What goals do you still have to accomplish? Linda, I hope you enjoy the party. The nice thing about summer parties is that it's not unheard of to have lite stuff to eat. I so love fruit salad....just melons and berries. It has to be my favorite part of summer. And allthe lighter meats. It is so great. Enjoy it. It means that we don't have to be worried about the summer celebrations. Okay...I need to get going. I'll talk to you all later.

Karri!!!! Congrats to dh! I know that takes a huge weight off your shoulders. A deep sigh of relief! I hope he loves it! And you get to start exercising next week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How amazing must that feel. Ruby! You're going to have those days. Those hunger demons can be so horrible. As for NEEDING chocolate, at the last support meeting I had we discussed how to feed it without feeling horrible. Tootsie roll midgies are fantastic for that. You have to chew chew chew and it gets stuck in your teeth so you taste it for awhile. And often at convenience stores they sell them individually for a nickel a piece. Has anyone heard anything from Phyl? Wanting to make sure she isn't in jail for murder. She was a little worried. I hope all is going well with her sisters. I'm hoping it is going better than she thought. Okay. I need to go to bed. I'll talk to you all tomorrow. Have a wonderful night and morning ladies. And if you have big plans for the weekend....enjoy!!!!

Okay...I couldn't resist. I ordered red/black and teal/charcoal. I so hope the medium is perfect. I'm worried that I might have needed to change for small. I may have to send back, but I love love love them today. I couldn't wait because the teal was sold out in xs and s and getting limited in m. It is gorgeous!!!!

Oh yeah!!! I can't explain the pain. And typing sucks. So, luckily, you all will be getting short Steph posts! I'm sitting here eating ice cream trying to boost my blood sugar and maybe feel better. There is no way in hell I can eat something solid. I tried a bite of cheerios. They didn't go. But I have to get something in that will counteract the meds. I should have NEVER taken it. Honest it was half the dose that was on the bottle. Thank goodness the bottle was almost empty and there wasn't more because it might have killed me to have taken the full dose. So ladies....beware of that. Okay....watching qvc while I can't focus. Beware of tomorrow's special value. I'm in love. I think I need 3. I'm trying to figure out if a medium will fit me after I lose 20 more pounds. I am in LOVE!!!! Ladies, it is spectacular. It will be on in less than 10 minutes. You have to look! Lisa's fashion jewelry this hour has been amazing, but her sneak peek of tomorrow's....it's divine. Okay. Finger can't take anymore. Tell me what color I should order....because I really can only order one.

Hi all. I've had a really crappy 24 hours. It really stinks. Last night I was getting ice out of the dispenser downstairs. My water bottle got stuck. I pulled and tugged and got really frustrated and then with a giant angry pull it came loose...crushing my ring finger...and ripping my finger nail off. I knew it wasn't good but thought I might be lucky and it only ripped off my acrylic. I came upstairs, iced it really good, about passed out a few times....and then looked. It was still there but it was only being held on by my cuticle. Wrapped it with bandaids and took some liquid gold. Today made an appointment with the doc. He pulled it off. It will take 3 months for a new one to grow out. He numbed it really good but I am a super wimp and was sure it was going to be super painful when the numbness wore off....so I took some more liquid gold. Well....I forgot that I hadn't really eaten since 5 or 6 pm yesterday. I've been in a constant state of limbo since 11am. I'm lightheaded, my eyes keep rolling, and too much activity almost makes me pass out. In fact, this has almost taken all the strength I have. I have had 2 protein shakes and 1 small can of pineapple juice. I am super tight because of the stress and can't seem to get any more down. Not really wanting to. I think it is just a side effect of the meds I shouldn't have taken....I'm hoping so. Okay....I'm signing off. Later ladies.

I know there are a lot of exercise challenges out there to keep you motivated. Mine, however, is all on my own. I set my goal and I keep track of what I do. I'm debating about changing the 45 minutes to less because when I work on my wii fit sometimes I don't make the 45 minutes and then I don't count it. I think I should be able to count a couple of the days at the mall but I didn't. I'm going to make my goal this month. I've been a little short each month so far, but I'M GOING TO GET IT THIS MONTH!!!! Join us

All of that is amazing news! How wonderful to see that much success in one month! Sometimes the pounds are secondary to the wonderful things you see happen from working out! And the wonderful benefits from your new job are awesome. I can only imagine the stress relief. You should be jumping for joy! I'm so excited for you. Keep it up and enjoy your new job! I'm so jealous.

Well. I went into the school today to talk to the super. He is frantically looking for a teacher. He did get an application today but when he told me who it was I almost cried. He's so out to lunch. I didn't know what to say to the guy. I didn't know what I thought. Good or bad. It was definitely a toss up. He told me he would pay me my daily salary that I would have got if I had stayed. Without the insurance taken out that isn't a bad day's pay actually. We already applied for blue cross blue shield and it's actually cheaper than the school insurance so it makes sense not to take it. But I told him I could only do it through October. After that they were on their own. So he might not need me. Which would be best for everyone. My mom would not be so angry at me. I'm sorta feeling like I should have gotten a second hole in my ears. Oh well. Okay...I better run. I have a lot to still do. Have a great day ladies.

I'm with you. That just sounds ludicrous. My team's philosophy has always been SOLID Protein first, then veggies, then carbs only if there is room. Liquid Protein has been discouraged since I left the mushy phase. If you cannot eat solid protein and be satisfied for a long period of time...and can only do liquids, then you are too tight. The idea is portion control, not liquid nutrition. I would seriously look at your choice of docs. This is a scary way to find success. I'd be looking for a second opinion,

I consider today my greatest scale victory ever!!! I broke the 150 barrier. I know I am still overweight but I haven't seen a 4 after that 1 since a year after high school! 4 is the most beautiful number I have ever seen!!!!

Okay...just a quick check in.... Nick was horrible at the dentist. Wouldn't let the hygenist do anything. It was so embarrassing. grrrr I got wii hooked up and my weigh in was 148.8!!!!! Now onto the exercise so I can keep the downward direction. Next order of business is breakfast. I definitely understand the waking up starving Karri! I think I could gnaw off my arm. I'm going to go look at texts today. I don't even know what I'll be teaching for sure. I am definitely hating this. I will probably take you up on the help Karri. I don't even know where to start or what to have them get for supplies. Lord help me. Okay....unpacked and this is my total purchase.... 5 pairs of shoes, 2 dresses, 1 skirt outfit, 2 pairs of sweats, 2 pairs of pants, 10 tops, 1 Brett Favre jersey, 1 necklace, 1 wedding ring set, 1 toe ring, 2 pairs of earrings, 1 pair of pajamas, 4 bras, 2 spanx, 1 set of nails, 1 large suitcase, 2 outfits for Jai, 2 stuffed animals from build a bear, 1 tee for eldest. I believe I left enough money at the mall. They should give complimentary service after all that!!! Or a free cart or something. I don't even want to see the credit card bill. Okay. I've got a ton to do. I'll talk to you all later.

Good morning ladies. I'm going to be around a bit today. I need to clean clean clean my house because it has been destroyed while I was gone. I also have to weigh in but am waiting for my kids to go to daycare so I can crawl on the wii board without distraction. The biggest problem with waiting until after they are at daycare is that I don't want to eat until after my weigh in so I'm getting hungry. Not a huge thing though I guess. I can't believe I've gone almost an entire week without weighing. That is so unlike me. And I'm not frantic either. Amazing. I am going to the school today to talk to the superintendent about teaching science. He called me on Tuesday and asked and I told him I would but I really need to get everything solidified better. I'm in trouble with my mom about it....but DH does understand my dilemna. I am so torn. I loved teaching math. I didn't give up that job so that I could teach science. I don't want the kids to not have science though. I don't know that I have the skills to teach it though. I may have a chem minor but that is a long ways from being qualified to teach all those different science classes. Okay...time to run. Daycare for Jai, dentist for Nick, then daycare for Nick and down to the school. I think I'll ride my bike so that I can at least call that FUN!!! I'll be back this afternoon.

Oh...about the ear piercing. I did NOT get a second hole put in my ears. I didn't realize that Candice did hers. I thought about it but I rarely wear earrings anyways so thought it was silly to put a second hole in. I wanted to thank all the ladies for welcoming my mom, Rose, with open arms. They were awesome and she had a great time. She talked about you all the way home. Thanks for that. Okay...where are all the chatties???? It's awfully quiet around here. Karri, how is the fill going? Did the 1 cc help with the monsters that were haunting? I sure hope so. And how was the trip? Are you feeling better? More awake this week? I haven't checked your blog the last few days., Denise, how did the pouch test go? Did you have the follow up done? Where are you sitting? Share ladies!!! You're all being way too quiet.