Tori Loukas

Welcome, Bill, and best of luck! I hope it's okay, I friended you here.

Good message and good advice. Never mind the judgments here, writer.

I ried regular tomato sauce soon when I was on solids and did fine. I'm 9 mos. out, though, and I still can't eat even mild salsa. I tried it again the other week---nope. Terrible heartburn even though I'm on Nexium. Guess I just can't do salsa!

Hi! I am just over 6 months out and I've lost 84 pounds in that time. Good Luck!

Excellent idea, Alex! Will be following....

Thank you!

Alex~~ where can I buy the Anova Sous appliance? Thank you

Great article, thank you, Alex! There is one more thing I have that I got on hsn.com~~ a one~or~two~ serving size wok! It's the coolest little thing :-)

My "Before" picture is directly above ^. Taken in May, 2014. I was about 360 at the time. Today I am 254, but I ain't done yet!

Great article! Thanks for sharing this. I use these "tools" of recovery for my eating addiction as well as my alcoholism, which I have maintained for 21 years now. (The sobriety, that is) For eating, it has been since July 2014 that I have been applying these sorts of principles to my everyday life. It really works for me!

I think numbers 2, 3, and 5 are really prominent~~ in my experience. First off, back in 2007 when I started this journey, I was ignorant of the importance of surgery in saving my life. I didn't quite accept, at that time, that I couldn't do it on my own. Then years passed by and I failed time and time again. Secondly, the fear of surgery was very big and real in me. I was afraid I'd die, have horrid complications, live with perpetual nausea, lose my hair, etcetera. I was more afraid, however, in my sick thinking, to lose my hair than to lose my LIFE. Craziness!! In reality, either none of my fears materialized or they were really so insignificant and made no real impact on my life. Now that I was sleeved in late 2014, and am on this trip at last, I find a lot of negativity and skepticism and CRITICISM. Don't get me wrong, there are many people I have found who are supportive to the max, including my family and friends. But generally, in society at large, there is so much negativity about surgery. I think it is born of ignorance and stigma/prejudice. "Fatism" is possibly the last widely accepted social prejudice. I also get rude comments from acquaintances I see on a regular basis. So I believe as time passes, all this stuff surrounding surgery will dissipate to a lesser degree~~ at least I hope so. All I can do about it personally is live my life openly and honestly and help educate others on a one-on-one basis. Thanks for the article, Alex!

AL~ANON!! What a GREAT idea, Folly! Why on earth didn't I think of that?

I say go for the counseling asap. Like BlerdGirl said above, professional advice is called for here. Our advice won't really cut the mustard, so to speak! All I can add is: Go with the flow. The changes are gonna happen no matter what. In the meantime, let his criticism roll off your back and try not to take it personally because it's his stuff he's working through and some of it is spilling onto you is all. Concentrate on whether YOU want to stay. Really think about it. Being on your own is likely better than being with an emotionally abusive partner. You owe it to yourself to consider why you are there. The criticism may not just be a growth phase. You need to talk to a counselor or therapist because that's about all the advice you will be able to get here. A counselor will give you cognitive and therapeutic techniques you can't get here. Good Luck!

Oh! One more thing, sorry~~ of course how he relates to you is different. He's not just shrinking in size, after WLS he is changing emotionally as well. I know for a fact that I am becoming a new person~ the person that was buried under mounds of fat and obsessive unhealthy behaviors. Be aware that there will be changes, some will be major. It's akin to an alcoholic getting sobriety. I don't know if he is working on the inner issues that got him to his highest weight or not, and there's no way to know, not even for you. It's a highly personal journey and not really your business....sorry. But be prepared for changes. Whether or not the relationship will survive the changes has yet to be determined. Meanwhile, like I said above, I highly suggest you return the focus to yourself and keep it there.

I hope you do follow through with counseling on your own. It sounds like a lot of co-dependency and control issues going on, and little real love and sharing. That's not a judgment; rather it's only an observation on my part. As for him, I wouldn't marry him at this point--too much stuff going on for both of you. Also as for him, I don't know about you--many compulsive overeaters, whether they go through with WLS or not, have control issues. They often revolve around food, then other people. What the origins are for this kind of behavior is irrelevant; it's entirely up to YOU whether or not you want to continue tolerating it. Good luck to you! I wish you the best with or without him. Remember, about him and his problems--not your circus, not your monkeys. Stop trying to help him-because what you're actually doing is enabling him to continue being the way he is. Concentrate on YOUR journey and let him have his. My humble opinion! Thanks.

Wow. I hemmed and hawed on my surgery for seven years due to fear. I was able to overcome it finally, and my surgeon and his office stuck by me all those years, much to their credit. I had my surgery this past September and it is the best thing I have ever done for myself, physically AND emotionally. I was and remain very blessed that I always have had great support from family and friends. I think you've gotten some great advice and support right here and that it'd be great for you to continue with that. My only comment to add is that you need to do this for yourself---for your very life, physical and emotional health----NOT for anyone else--whether to inspire them or survive for them in their futures. Your wife's weight and health is HER journey. If you can't get anything positive from her about this, don't try to get it from her. She is riddled with fear about it and that's not your problem. The advice above about seeking counseling is great, I feel. Regardless of whether that happens or not, you need to save your life. Get in touch with the local support and seek alternatives too---it's so important! Get on a hard-target search for support, it is there if you look for it in earnest. Lastly---don't delay your weight loss pre-surgery for joining a gym, etcetera. I delayed my weight loss for so long, and it was made up with excuses because of fear and apprehension. I'm not saying one way or the other that this is true in your case--I don't know.....but call yourself out on your delaying if that is what it's really about. You don't need to get into an exercise regimen pre-surgery if that means you have to wait. I lost my pre-surgery weight without exercising at all---I couldn't, because of bad arthritis in my knees. It will be easier for you and there will be plenty of time to establish a routine after surgery and some initial weight loss. CONGRATULATIONS on your moving towards surgery---best of luck to you on this wonderful journey!

Oh, I forgot. I am already taking bigger bites than a pencil eraser! Also, I chew 30 times for chicken and turkey and you'll learn you don't have to chew that much for veggies, for example. I don't. I eat yogurt pretty fast. I can drink liquids pretty fast. And, the liquid part of the diet for me was only or 4 weeks. I take generally 15-20 minutes to eat a meal now. Everyone progresses differently. Try not to worry about things that probably will never happen----that's what I learned from all this. EVERYTHING I worried about did NOT come true! I do know it's normal though---everybody has fear of the unknown to varying degrees. Now I am at the point where there are NO restrictions on what I can eat---it's entirely up to ME to choose healthy, low fat, non-sugary foods, and I do. I want to be a normal weight, healthy person free of food addiction. I have to keep my eyes on the prize and live and eat accordingly. I also have to watch how much of anything I eat, and how fast. You'll do GREAT, please don't worry so much.

The hospital did put a catheter in me. It was inserted in my vee for urine output---once I was peeing on my own the next morning they took it out. I don't know what your hospital's protocol is regarding that. I'd say don't be afraid---I never even felt it and it was inserted while I was still out under anesthesia before they took me out of post-op recovery and to my room. It was absolutely no problem at all for me. As for your events--my advice is to just go and enjoy yourself. Alcohol and food aren't what make a good time. Sure, they contribute to the fun, but you can have plenty of fun without them, they're not necessary. I'm willing to bet too that your friends and family will accommodate you with whatever you have to do for the sake of your health and what you're trying to do. Just tell them, explain it to them. They'll understand. I don't think it'll ruin anyone's time! They'll just appreciate the fact that you are there celebrating with them. Drinking alcohol does not make memories---it's YOU that make memories. How do I know? I'm a recovering alcoholic for 21 years and have gone to many important events and not drank and no problem for anyone!

Omg, I felt the way you feel, exactly. I flip-flopped on getting the Gastric Bypass for SEVEN YEARS. I was afraid of everything about it, and so doubted whether or not it was the right choice for me. At one point, I dropped out of my pre-op program for two years, thinking, "I can do this myself"---well, I ended up gaining even more weight to get to my highest weight of 373 pounds. Then, my insurance (Medicare) finally approved the Sleeve last year and it seemed like a better fit for me, so I started looking into having surgery again. My surgeon then informed me that his surgery of choice for me was the Sleeve. I still didn't seem to be able to commit to losing the 40 pounds they wanted me to lose beforehand. Also, my surgeon told me I had to quit smoking and stay quitted for a full year before he would operate on me. Then somehow it all clicked into place. I quit smoking for that year and am still quitted. After years of waffling, one day at the doc's office his nurse told me if I could lose 15 pounds in 5 weeks they could finally schedule me. So I got on it and ended up losing 27 pounds. I ate lean Protein and veggies and salads, Lean Cuisines, lots of green tea. And I found that by cutting out all those unhealthy carbs I was eating I was rid of cravings for them---at LAST. So ---I got my date and went for it. I had my Sleeve on September 9th of 2014. I've lost 66 pounds since then, am just over 4 months out. It was a little tough in the beginning but totally doable. I had no pain. I was only in hospital for a day. Everything went well for me. Then, I did everything they told me to do and it worked. I am SO glad I finally did it. It was all the garbage in my head that prevented me from going forward, until I got sick of my own stuff and just went past it. I suffer from depression and have to take plenty of meds too. That didn't affect anything about the surgery. The surgery not only is shrinking me down physically, it has made me a better person now that I'm not preoccupied with food. I used and abused food---and for all the wrong reasons. Today all those issues are totally gone, and I'm living my life the way it is meant to be lived. I wish I had done this sooner, but I don't regret the past and all my waffling. For some reason, I think I had to go through that to finally be ready. Everyone is different and has their own path. Please don't hesitate. It'll be the best thing you've ever done for yourself. Good Luck!

My surgeon, Dr. David Miles, chose the Sleeve for me because I have debilitating and painful arthritis in my knees and back ( undoubtedly due to 24 years of morbid obesity) and have to take an NSAID for it--Naproxen, 1,000 mg. a day---and the RNY doesn't allow NSAIDS. I totally chose to listen to his wisdom on this. Also, I was nervous about malabsorption, continual nausea possibility, and dumping syndrome with the RNY. He said the Sleeve allows for 10% less weight loss overall than the RNY but I don't care. He doesn't do Lap-Bands any more either and said that procedure wouldn't help me lose enough weight anyway. So far I've lost 64 pounds since my Sleeve on September 9th, 2014, my surgeon's staff say my rate of weight loss is "excellent", and I'm very happy with the Sleeve and my surgeon's choice for me!

I'm so sorry you're not losing right now~~ but don't get discouraged! You're in what's called a "stall"~ a temporary period of time when the body stops losing so it can "catch up" to its weight loss. My surgeon's PA assures me it's only temporary and after the body adjusts it starts losing again. I was stalled for three weeks in my third month and am now losing again. I'm 4 month out as of tomorrow and I lost 4 pounds last week. So take a deeeep breath, and relax. You don't have to do anything different from what you're already doing~ and it will pass on its own. Talk to your surgeon or their staff about it, and they will reassure you that it's NORMAL~ and virtually everybody goes through it at some point in their weight loss journey! Best of luck to you

Oh, and I take an Omega-3 supplement, too (fish oil capsules) I think it helps a little.

I started losing hair at about 2 1/2 months out. My hair was already long and on the thin side. It has simply thinned quite a bit all throughout my hair~~ no bald Patches or anything. I haven't had to cut it. My hairstylist was the first one to notice it. I am now almost 4 months out and my hair loss seems to have slowed down. I have been taking 10,000 mcg. of Biotin every day, and I also take Virgin Coconut Oil capsules and another Skin/Hair/Nails supplement every day. The suggestion by another member above about using Nioxin shampoo, conditioner, and treatment is a great one. They have different formulations for different types of hair. I'd be using it myself but can't afford it right now as it's a little expensive for me. I have used it before and got it on sleekhair.com. Give it a try. Good luck to you!