1st take a deep breath........ Now the 1st thing to understand is this step is about your life not anyone elses. Your goal is to get as health as possible with what ever means you have to accomplish that. Don't look to get others approval, because if you never get healthy they will carry you casket and complain about how much you weigh, so their still gonna talk about you til your in the ground. This surgery is a tool nothing more and so you have to look at it that way. You've already made progress so use that to build on one task at a time. You will find if you focus on the steps instead of the overall picture you success will build.