First~
You are not a failure.
You are using a tool (the surgery) to help assist you in a lifetime change.
This tool will assist you in regaining your good health back, exceeding your lifespan, and living a life of happiness.
This will be one of the hardest challenges you will take on and you will WIN!
Everyone is build different. Some of us burn calories immediately and can maintain normal weight. Many like you and I need more than the gym,
Do this for you! Go to support meetings, online support, look for a weight loss partner to get your support from.
It 's to bad your partner is not supportive but she is not your medical health provider.
I wish you the very best on your journey.
God's Blessings!
Victoria