The Candidate

@@livingstone That has to be one of the most intelligent, logical, and compassionate posts I've ever read on this site. Thank you for making such an eloquent statement. It is definitely a personal decision and in no way marks the individual as ready or not ready to undertake such a serious and life/body altering step. No one can attest to the moral conviction of another. Yes, in a perfect world we would all chose to follow the pre op plan/diet without wavering. But another pre op requirement for WLS is admitting that you, me, and everyone else here, is less than perfect. Berating someone who has yet to be given that "tool" we're all seeking, is in my opinion, an unfair fight. Failing diets is our collective history, and I for one, hope to never forget the awful struggle of it all after I have my own surgery. For my insurance I'm required to lose 10 percent, and I've done that, but it's a constant struggle. Especially when I'm being made to maintain that loss over an 8 to 9 month period. I may slip tomorrow, and then again I may not. But realistically it could happen anytime, right up until I'm wheeled through those operating room doors. There are no certainties in this endeavor. Not pre-op. Not post-op either. One day at a time, a little mutual support, and a desire to change your life, are the mainstays. I think every one deserves a chance at a new life. Everyone is living in a glass house in this community. There should be no stones allowed.

You should be so proud of what you've accomplished! You're beautiful! Honestly, if there had been no caption with these pictures I would have assumed it was a pic of a mother in your before, and her daughter in the after. It's amazing how weight loss not only makes you feel better, but also magically makes you look younger as well.

Whatever different roads we traveled to get here is irrelevant in my opinion, as we all eventually ended up at the same destination in the end. We are identical in the fact that we're all fat enough to require surgical intervention. Falling off your pre op diet is indicative of only one thing in my opinion - you're human. It doesn't mean you're any less committed or enthusiastic than the rest of us. And it certainly doesn't mean that by doing so you are not prepared enough to have surgery. The most often named insurance qualification requirement for WLS is proving that you've tried and failed diet attempts in the past. You've simply fulfilled that requirement one more time. Nothing to be ashamed of in my book. Simply pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.

I don't understand why the amount of "friends" a poster has, whether they have a profile picture, or provide current vital statistics in their profile in any way qualifies an individual as a troll. These are all personal individual choices we all make that are neither right nor wrong. And asking someone whether they work outside the home for the sole purpose of making assumptions as to their popularity outside this site is in no way a legitimate question.

I see no abuse in @@Cleo's Mom's posts. It started off as simply asking for a little civility and understanding when replying to posts, nothing more. I applaud her efforts and whole heartedly agree that this site could certainly benefit from the overall message of "doing onto others" a little bit more.

If it doesn't happen now keep the faith. You can't deny destiny. Good luck!

You look beautiful! Amazing progress!

I've encountered the same issue. Now I compose any replies in an email as it will save the draft, and then I cut and paste. I've lost more than one typed reply before reverting to this method. And I get that error message a lot. Sometimes I'm just reading and it just disappears, the entire website or app, because I use both, and then I have to wait for it to reload again. I use an iPad.

Even on social media you are given the option of choosing which parts of your page/profile/stats are to be made private or public. You choose who to friend or unfriend. Everyone can "see" whether you're in a relationship but that doesn't mean they'll have an invite to your wedding. I have at least a hundred people at work that I've probably spent more time with over the last 27 years than some of my closest family members and friends, and yet the majority of them have never been to my home, met my family, know my middle name, or can say whether or not I have pets. Why then am I in any way obligated to tell them anything about my personal life, whether or not they are privy to the outward physical changes? Privacy in our highly technological society is becoming an endangered species, and I prefer to invoke a protected password on my very personal decision to have WLS. I have already told those closest to me that I'm having the surgery, and they've been with me every step of the way. Those are the only opinions that really matter to me. I feel no compunction to include co-workers, acquaintances, or any other peripheral person whose sole relationship in my life boils down to a casual nod as we pass each other in the hall. Anyone who has ever spent a fraction of a time in an office setting can probably attest to the fact that it's a breeding ground of gossip and backstabbing, that is only one step above high school cliques. You have to develop some tough skin to survive, and freely offering up personal information about yourself on the WLS scale is like chumming Water for sharks. Even those I've told are naturally curious as I proceed through the long approval process. I'm bombarded with questions on a daily basis. They love to share stories about the latest celebrity or friend of a friend who they've just heard about who's had the surgery too. I'm constantly having to explain things, correct misconceptions, try to encapsulate a fat girl's view of the world in terms that can be understood by a thin person's perspective. It's exhausting sometimes. It's wasted energy that I need to focus entirely on myself at this pivotal time in my life. There are days when I have question whether I made the right decision to tell a particular person when their reaction is not what I expected. You can't take it back once you give your information away. This is no do over. So really think about it before making the leap.

I'm in week 15 of the 24 weeks of Options classes, which is the requirement in my area (Southern CA San Diego), and I have already lost the 10 percent. But honestly, it doesn't seem to be a huge deal, at least not to the point where they'd deny you surgery over it. We've had several guest speakers, five in total, all past Options graduates/post ops, and with one exception, none had lost the 10 percent beforehand. They will include an extra step after graduation where you have to go back and see the head of the Bariatric program, which those that do lose the 10 percent don't have to do (and in fact the work book says if you even get within ten pounds you get to skip it too), but that's it. But as the above poster illustrates, the requirements vary widely from area to area. Sent from my iPad

Sadly I could lose 17 pounds of boobs and there would still be plenty left over. I think I got several people's portions of boobs going on here. Someday my day will come too - can't wait!

Wow, you look so beautiful! What an amazing job you've done and so early in the game too. There'll be no stopping you now. Truly an inspiration to us all!

You have every reason to be proud of your success. You look amazing!

How'd you manage to fit all that awesomeness into one "after" pic? Job exceedingly well done!

You wear those boots like you've never been anything other than slim your entire life. If I obtain even half of your success I'll consider it a miracle. Thanks for sharing. It helps to keep my pre op eyes on the prize. Congratulations!

Hi @LivingFree! Thanks for your message! I am in the San Diego area, specifically North County. I'm attending classes in San Marcos. I started in November and will finish in May. And I have to tell you that it frustrates me to no end that we are required to do 24 weeks while pretty much every other area of CA I have heard about, only requires 12. If I was doing 12 like everyone else, I would be graduating this week. It's part of what I mean when I talked about standardizing their requirements. I do my best to be patient but sometimes it's tough. By the time I get to surgery I'll have been waiting a year, maybe more. You're right that all the "book learning" in the world is nothing compared to hearing from people who have lived the experience, and that's exactly my point, because about 90 percent of the classes is entirely book learning. You are absolutely spot on when you talked about the benefits of hearing from post op's and others at various stages of the surgery. We didn't actually start discussing surgery options until week 7 and I was disappointed that the information provided was pretty superficial. I have learned so much more here than I have from any of Kaiser's class offered course material. I truly hope you are successful in your petition for an all inclusive support group. But I have to say, for me, the biggest plus of the classes, besides the guest speakers, is going through it with others. My classmates are great and you really begin to feel a genuine connection with each other, as we are all working towards the same goal at the same time. That personal connection is invaluable. And yes, we are definitely encouraged to attend support groups through Pacific Bariatric. I can't imagine being denied that opportunity as you mentioned you were. Did they say why that was when you were going through the process? All in all I've been more than pleased with Kaiser's streamlined process and I would recommend it to anyone out there considering surgery. There's a lot of comfort as you progress through in knowing exactly what's ahead of you and around the bend. It's taught me to be a little more patient, and I'm more than confident that this is definitely the right path for me. I've done enough research on my own on Pacific Bariatric and Scripps Mercy Hospital in San Diego, which is where the surgery will be done as Kaiser contracts out, to know that I will be in very good hands. In the meantime, as you suggested, I will have as much fun as I can. It may sound cliche but the time does really go by quickly. I'm very excited too that I'm at the halfway mark! I'm sure the day will come when I look back on this whole pre op time as passing by in the blink of an eye. I can't wait for that day. Thanks, and I congratulate you again on your continued success! Are you currently sharing your personal experience as a guest speaker or in support groups? If not, you definitely should be as you have a lot of sage counsel to offer others.

You're welcome @LivingFree! And I will definitely follow your sound advice about sharing my personal experience and observations with Kaiser upon completion of the program. I've only completed 11 of the 24 Options classes so far, so I'm reserving final judgement until the end. In my opinion it would benefit future WLS applicants through Kaiser if they would strive harder to standardize their qualifying requirements. The fact that my area in Southern CA mandates 24 weeks of classes, while most of Northern CA requires only 12 weeks is a good example of this variance. Don't get me wrong, the classes themselves are certainly worthwhile, especially for those candidates that do little to no research beforehand. That in itself was a big eye opener for me, realizing that more than a few of my fellow classmates entered the program with virtually no knowledge of the serious life changing operation they were signing up for. One of of the best benefits of the classes would definitely be the guest speakers. The other week we heard from a former Options graduate, who is 1 1/2 years out from getting the sleeve. He started out at over 500 pounds and has already lost over 200! We will hear from more post op's in the coming weeks, and that shared experience is beyond beneficial. We bombarded him with questions, ultimately taking the entire 90 minutes, and never even got to the lesson that night. That kind of one on one, plus the generosity of people such as yourself, and so many others on this forum, all willing to share your personal insight with hopeful pre-op's, like myself, make the process so much easier. I thank you for that, and everyone else here, with all my heart. Next month I'll be attending the required surgical seminar, and we're always encouraged to make full use of the support groups during every stage of our journey. In the end, the program is definitely a necessity and not a hindrance in any shape or form. The Kaiser Options Program is a worthwhile endeavor, and I've no doubt that they are always striving to improve, ensuring that their patients will go into that operating room thoroughly prepared for a whole new way of life. Thank you for your comments and I wish you continued success and happiness.

I think the Kaiser program is wonderful as well, but as someone who is currently going through the Options program I agree with the previous poster, in that the material presented is rather outdated and rudimentary. In my area the classes are 24 weeks, so I'm sure the procedures differ in other ways in different areas. I'm currently halfway through. We were told by the Kaiser representatives that Lap Band is no longer an option, no way, no how. Not meant as any critique on the surgery itself, just repeating what we were told, and more than once too. I also agree that the support system through Kaiser is fantastic. They do a lot to prepare you for not only for surgery, but for a whole new way of life physically, mentally and emotionally. Great to hear that you are still doing so well four years out. That's amazing. Congratulations!

Kaiser doesn't do bands any longer anyway. We were told that at orientation and also at the beginning of Options classes which I'm halfway through. Hope to have surgery sometime this summer. Good luck on your journey!

The change is very noticeable. You look great!

It's like you read my dream journal, because everything you mentioned passes through the windmills of my mind so many times a day I'm considering charging a toll. Congratulations and never stop spreading the sunshine as its inspiration for those of us still waiting on the other side. Can't wait for my own surgery.

@@wildflowergirl I just wanted to say that you have a wonderful attitude. I have no doubt that you will beat the system or continue to work within its restrictive parameters as you have been. You are 100 percent correct - you WILL get your surgery some day. I'd wish you best of luck, but you've obviously already got this in the bag. Carry on.

That is a very sobering forewarning and we all appreciate your sharing. I hope all goes well with your eye treatment. My personal situation isn't a matter of me having postponed surgery. Instead it's more along the lines of surgery having postponed me. I'm about five months into the process of completing my insurance's qualification hoops, with about another five months to go. Made the decision in August and started the ball rolling from there. If I'm lucky im hoping to have surgery sometime mid or late summer. If offered, I'd do it tomorrow in a heartbeat, but the insurance controls the rate and speed of travel in this little journey of mine. Your post makes me wonder how many days of healthy living I will have lost if only I'd started the process sooner. You see so many post ops lament that their only regret is not having done it sooner. I've no doubt it will be mine as well.

Fantastic! You look great!

Well I'm going to have to find another part of my anatomy to focus my internal wrath on for 24/7, once the fat is no longer in the equation. I'm thinking those grand Tetons of mine have been evading detection pretty well so far, but after I lose the weight they're going to be a pretty big blip on the unsatisfied radar. And I'm fairly confident they're already twitchy about the research I've started on breast reduction. And darn it, I'm going to have to find another super power once I lose that cloak of invisibility that my fat shield inspires in most people who can't seem to see me in order to hold the elevator, or make direct eye contact. Such is the burden we bear.