Fluffnomore

Driving to the hospital this time 6 weeks ago, I was a total jumble of emotions, but the biggest one was disbelief. That lasted well into being wheeled into pre-op. "Is this really happening?" And then I woke up from surgery. Crazy.

Today's the day that I go back to CrossFit after 6 weeks off. I plan to sit here, whimpering, and re-reading this thread when I get home tonight around 6:30.

Butter, thank you for the reassurance! This dance of figuring out the mushy/purees and working up to solid food has been challenging. There is such a fine line between dissatisfied and slightly too full and it will take me a while to navigate. Right now it seems that 2-3 oz of protein + a couple of tablespoons of something else works best. (Usually sweet potatoes or something like it.) So easy to get sidetracked, or eat too fast, or about one thousand other things. It's like learning how to eat all over again. I'd probably do better if I put it all on a tray and played with it like a toddler.

Oh, Sweet Mandy B's…what a great place. And now it's on the list... Good to know.

Hi Noor. My husband is bipolar and we're in the middle of an appeal for this surgery. Like you, part of him is stuck stuck stuck in a waiting pattern hoping that he will be approved and he doesn't know what to do with himself while he waits. Since he won't listen to my suggestions (grin) I will pass them along to you. Try to eat healthier now. Don't go on a drastic diet or anything, but feed yourself roughly according to the guidelines (Protein, vegetables, then carbs) so you have the chance of feeling better mentally and physically while you wait. Try not to obsess. For my husband, this is like telling him to try not to breathe. But your worrying will not make it move faster and will make you miserable. I applaud the idea of seeing your psychiatrist, but maybe see if you can get some sessions in with someone who specializes in weight issues. When my husband sees the psych she adjusts his meds. When he sees the other therapist, she works on strategies with him. As to the rest, if you look around there are hundreds of us who did not make it "on our own." You are not weak, or lazy…you are being proactive about this.

One of my former therapists loved this exercise and she pointed out something interesting that goes along with it. In English, we say "I am hungry" or "I am angry." In other languages like French and German the construct is, "I have hunger" or "I have anger." Her theory is that when we personify the emotion we feel it more deeply; it IS us. So her additional instruction to me for sitting with feelings was to reframe the way I spoke to myself about it, so as to hold it at arms' length. She would ask me to visualize holding the feeling in both hands (I have hunger, right there, in my hands), assign it a color, a shape, whatever…and then let it go. It's a trick but it is distracting. I was mostly dealing with anger and hurt and it allowed me to take one step away from it and observe it, rather than rage.

I hate photos. That is all. No it's not. Big hug to you.

I caught a glimpse of cheekbone today and nearly wet myself. Seriously, congratulations on the chinectomy.

One of my CF coaches posted an article recently about recovery, and it basically said that NSAIDs, icing, heat, etc are not as helpful as stretching/movement of the affected area. I will see if I can find that. This is really interesting information. ETA: here it is. More of a blog post than research but also an interesting read: http://athleticmedicine.wordpress.com/2013/11/07/why-ice-and-anti-inflammatory-medication-is-not-the-answer/

Also, most universities have an on-campus clinic that you pay for with your tuition, so there's no out of pocket to you. Have you looked into that? Good luck. We are all pulling for you.

Amazing! Still crossing fingers for the Addison's. Glad they found something they could fix!

I was working from my hospital bed (proofing copy. Luckily, I didn't screw it up! In retrospect it was stupid.) I was sleeved on a Thursday and basically started doing more than answering email on Tuesday. Then again, I work at home so it is less pressure. By Friday of the following week (8 days post op) I drove downtown and went to a two-hour meeting. That was tiring. But by two weeks post-op I attended and staffed a special event from about 3 until 11, and I did okay. Just listen to your body and make sure you get extra rest, especially the first few days back.

You have a lot going on. But honey, you are worth it. You are healthy, beautiful, and good. Don't let the voices in your head win this one.

I honestly don't know if this is/was completely okay or not but about 1-2 weeks or so post-op I made a french onion Soup and strained off everything even remotely chunky. It was broth based but had a lot of flavor added to it (a cup of wine, onions, etc.) The majority of it was broth, however. Are there any recipes that you could do that you could cook with other items and then take all of the "other" out of it?

Roo, it looks great on you. What a great idea!

Can you start a project that you can't eat while doing? Get involved in a book? Start knitting? Phone a friend so you can't/won't chomp over the phone? You are completely worth doing this the right way. What Arts says is true, if you can get through the first couple of days the next few get a lot easier.

I scampered away this morning all crazy embarrassed and actually did some work for a while, so I'm going to take this thread back one page and say I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything I said to minimize anyone's feelings. Whether something did or not. It was more sharing than anything else. I will henceforth keep away from this kind of thread if I don't feel I can personally relate to the title. Also, Nicolanz, get your hands off my butt.

A musician I used to work for would always say, "I don't read reviews. If I take the good ones as gospel, I need to assign the bad ones just as much credence." How does this apply? Well, simply put…weeks or months that go really well are awesome, amazing, and make us feel like we have this thing BEAT. Bad weeks or months, or ones that don't go the way our preconceived notions think they should can make us feel like crap. Better, I think, to realize that the scale is like that reviewer in the paper. It's taking down an impression of your performance; nothing more, nothing less. It doesn't account for difficulties you've had, other ways you've improved, or really anything about your weight loss journey except that number it takes as a snapshot. If you give that power to a snapshot, you are missing the point. I get that it's not always easy, but one thing I see over and over again is "Put in the work and the rest will follow." It may not follow at the pace you believe it should, or that you read about others achieving, etc. But it will follow. One other thing. We have a tendency to shout out our successes from the rooftops. Don't believe me? Log on to Facebook and see how many people posted today that they screwed something up at work, or yelled at their kids, or gained a couple of pounds. No, they post that their husband brought them flowers, or that they got a promotion, or that their kid made honor roll. Also, they post pictures of their dinner. Your snapshot of our lives is what we're putting out there. Maybe it's possible that plenty of others are right where you are. So don't give up!

Ours does something like that too, but it is about a 20 mile drive, and I knew I wouldn't make it there. But I do get to go back to the gym this week and I am excited about that.

But that's important too. I know there are areas of my husband's past that when he told me about them years and years ago, they made me go "Hmmm" but he was not able or ready to see them for what they were. He is working through them now. He went through a period of time about 4 or 5 years ago (yes, at the same time that we were having trouble; it's all related but in insidious ways) and he spent time writing very angry letters to his father and then becoming upset when his father would essentially respond, "I'm very sorry…but this all happened 40 years ago and I can't change it now. You need to let it go." Obviously if it was easy to let go of old wounds we'd all just do it. But some of us need to simmer in them. Some of us don't even know or can't face that they're there. And some of us rise above our circumstances and eventually do fine. I think this group, is a group of risers. In each way, each person is making some progress. I'm really proud of all of you and touched and honored by your honesty.

I totally forgot about the straw rule when on my road trip last week.

My surgeon's office has been mostly helpful but I find that I really have to stay on the bariatric coordinator. I have been really proactive about getting my own surgery pushed through quickly. Now we have the issue that my husband's case was denied at first and we had to resubmit. I call every day to make sure things are moving. And they still aren't sometimes. But I know now that this woman has to be rolling her eyes when I call to see if she's submitted, if she wants anything else, etc. I get that we are not the only two patients at this office but I also realize that if we sit back and let things go in their normal time they may not happen as quickly. I'm crazy but I still have this hope somewhere that we can get this turned around and he will get magically approved and sleeved in December before the new copays kick in next year.

You're not cheap! My two pairs were $16 and $25 respectively. Costco and Target. I'm saving Nordstrom or somewhere nice for a more stable period, down the road.

I don't know RJ. I am reading all of these stories, and I don't know if we really can say with certainty that people who turn out obese or morbidly obese had experiences that made them that way. Depending on who I talk to, I either had a really wonderful childhood or a crazy one. My perspective is that it was not without its problems, but overall it was fairly normal. I have fond memories. I was not abused, but I have an alcoholic father who went to rehab when I was 9 and has stayed sober. It would be incredibly easy and not truthful to blame my adult problems on that experience. I have a superability to endure difficult situations as an adult that I can probably trace back to that time, but it is not of the same caliber in any way, shape or form, as what many of you (and my husband) endured as children. It's like I had a broken leg when I was a kid and was on crutches for a year, and I am comparing myself to someone who survived polio. Not to say that the experience wasn't bad or life changing, but it didn't affect my entire childhood. Like GG, my weight was more or less under control until my 30s. But after having children, after undergoing some tough times, and being sick, my metabolism slowed considerably as did my activity. Somewhere in the middle of this my eating habits also declined. I don't believe that this was some reaction to things that happened to me 30 years ago; more a snowball rolling down a hill and gathering more and more snow.

Interesting. I am taking my obese son in to be baseline tested for diabetes, cholesterol and the rest. I am sure that at least some of his issues lie in insulin resistance. But I don't know how to make the medical professionals (or him, for that matter) take this seriously. If I had a dollar for every time I was recommended a high carbohydrate, low-fat diet, I would be a very rich woman.